Don’t jerk off to Nurse Nancy at a porn theater, and when arrested, offer to perform a children’s benefit for the sheriff’s department to make the charges go away.
I’ve heard Drew Carey say that, for him, it’s extremely easy to live incognito. All he has to do is put in contact lenses and let his hair grow out for a few days, and voila! Nobody recognizes him or pays him any atention at all.
The drawback? “When I do that,” he says, “the service isn’t NEARLY as good.”
There are some islands off the coast of Maine that the famous have homes at. Nobody will bother you and the locals won’t recognize you and even if they did they are Mainers and could care less about anything other then the price of Lobster.
When I first read this I thought of Chita Rivera.
I worked in a hotel and was the Revenue (Reservations) Manager and she came to talk to me
“No one must know I’m here.” And she sent me a list of instructions and codes to stop people from finding her.
I felt like saying “Look lady I could walk out on Michigan Avenue and scream ‘Chita Rivera’ is staying here’ and the only thing that would happen would be hundreds of people would yell, ‘Who the hell is Chita Rivera’.”
I felt like sayingn “No one knows who you are and for the few who may recognize you, they wouldn’t care.”
There are actually small towns where protecting the privacy of celebrities is a civic virtue / duty / point of pride. Sedona, AZ, is the home for quite a few famous people but it is considered very rude to 1) gush over anyone, 2) treat them any way other than everyone else, or 3) (and the worst sin) tell anyone where the celebrities live.
J.
It depresses the hell out of me that this is possibly true, when Katie Holmes, Paris Hilton, and that plastic surgery freak from the Hills can walk down the street getting assailed by autograph seekers. Whatever happened to taste?
But he wasn’t using the same services as regular Joes.
Start a tramway service on a mountain pass in the post-apocalyptic pacific northwest.
Shave your head bald, & grow the biggest, thickest mustache you can.
That’s what Ian Fleming recommended in his novel Thunderball.
Of course, the people who were hiding were Nazis, but…
A lot of this has to do with the New Hampshire mindset - I lived there for 4 years and found it to be as if the whole state was introverted. There’s a joke up there that the state motto should be “Go away and leave us alone (but leave your money)”. It’s true.
So, Step 1: Move to New Hampshire.
I thought he lived here in Seattle? I heard he will occasionally sit in with a band if he knows someone in the band. I have no actual evidence of this though.
Don’t make me go Postal on you 
Well Bill, you could offer to ghost draw “Cathy”. Nobody would ever want to find you again. Acck!!
I can’t speak for what Bill Waterson is doing to lay low, but if I were him I’d have a very easy time staying out of the spotlight.
As far as I know, there’s been no new pictures of Bill Waterson released to the public since 1986 (a black and white photo where he bears a striking resemblance to Calvin’s Dad). This has been mentioned before, but all he’d have to do is replace his glasses with contacts and lose the moustache, and nobody would recognize him.
The only way for people to recognize him would be if he had to flash his ID. But if he made all his purchases with cash he wouldn’t need to show it.