You know what I’m gonna do?
I’m gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale-skin hubcaps
An all-leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights, YEAH!
And I’m gonna drive that thing at 115 miles per hour
Getting one mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald’s
In those old-fashioned, non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when I’m done scarfing down those greaseball burgers
I’m gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I’m gonna toss that styrofoam container right out the side
And there’s not a goddamn thing anyone can do about it
Because we got the bomb, that’s why
Two words: Nuclear fucking weapons, okay?
Well, there she sits buddy just a gleaming in the sun
There to greet a working man when his day is done
I’m gonna pack my pa and I’m gonna pack my aunt
I’m gonna take them down to the Cadillac Ranch
Eldorado fins, whitewalls and skirts
Rides just like a little bit of heaven here on earth
Well buddy when I die throw my body in the back
And drive me to the junkyard in my Cadillac
Cadillac, Cadillac
Long and dark, shiny and black
Open up your engines let 'em roar
Tearing up the highway like a big old dinosaur
[Aarrgghh…should have known…note I do searches first 75% of the time]
[ok change in make & model is in order]
A body like yours oughta be in jail
‘Cause it’s on the verge of bein’ obscene
Move over, baby, gimme the keys
I’m gonna try to tame your little red love machine
Little Red Corvette
Baby, you’re much too fast
Little Red Corvette
Need to find a love that’s gonna last, hey hey
Out on the road today, I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice inside my head said, “Don’t look back; you can never look back”
Thought that I knew what love was; what did I know?
Those days are gone forever; I shoulda just let 'em go
I don’t care if it rains or freezes
As long as I’ve got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through my trials and tribulations, and my travels through the nations
With my plastic Jesus I’ll go far
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I’m afraid He’ll have to go
His magnets ruin my radio
And if I have a wreck He’ll leave a scar
Feeling unknown and you’re all alone
Flesh and bone by the telephone
Lift up the receiver, I’ll make you a believer
Take second best, put me to the test
Things on your chest you need to confess
I will deliver, you know I’m a forgiver
Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who’s there
Out on the road for forty days
Last night in Little Rock put me in a haze
Sweet, sweet Connie, doin’ her act
She had the whole show and that’s a natural fact
Up all night with Freddie King
I got to tell you, poker’s his thing
Booze and ladies, keep me right
As long as we can make it to the show tonight
We’re an American band
We’re an American band
We’re comin’ to your town
We’ll help you party it down
We’re an American band
Go and catch a falling star,
Get with child a mandrake root,
Tell me where all past years are,
Or who cleft the devil’s foot,
Teach me to hear mermaids singing,
Or to keep off envy’s stinging,
And find
What wind
Serves to advance an honest mind.
Parched land no desert sand, sun is just a dot
And a little bit of water goes a long way, ‘cause it’s hot
Three good buddies were laughin’ and smoking
In the back of a rented Ford
They couldn’t know they weren’t going far
Work is over but I can’t stay to work late
Got to leave and get ready for my second date
With a pretty girl that I met at the pharmacy
Right in the prescription line
I take a pill for my social anxiety
I get a table and a nice bottle of Chablis
Now it’s getting late and there’s still no sign of her
I have another glass of wine
All I know is the wine lasts longer, when you don’t gotta share it with someone
All I know is the steak tastes better, when I take my “steak tastes better” pill