# I wanna invent a nose vacuum! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 20, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wanna-invent-a-nose-vacuum/241121 "2004-04-20T23:37:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wanna-invent-a-nose-vacuum/241121/21 "2004-04-22T13:20:13Z")
I never have been able to decide if the utter misery of full and running sinuses is better or worse than the utter misery of the post-sinus-malady **extremely painful suddenly dry-as-a-bone sinuses**. Hurts! Ouch! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wanna-invent-a-nose-vacuum/241121/22 "2004-04-22T13:37:17Z")
What you need is the giant glass apostrophe known as the [Nori](http://www2.active.ch/gerstei/main.en.html)! Don’t those action shots make you want to run right out and get one? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wanna-invent-a-nose-vacuum/241121/23 "2004-04-22T14:22:21Z")
So, I was standing in one of two parallel lines at a convenience store, waiting to buy a pop, when a guy comes up behind me with a carton of beers and plops them down on the counter. He then sort of _rested_ against me, and he stank of beers and other less salubrious scents. I was trying to lean away but not so far that I would be _resting_ against the person in the next line. I was trying to hold my breath and, when that failed, I was trying to breathe from the opposite side as my stinky leaner. And that was when I invented the Crowd Snorkel. It’s a tube that runs along your arm, with a mouthpiece that can be discreetly sipped at. Simply reach your hand toward fresh air, and the fresh air will be available to you! Please **Eats\_Crayons** , tell me that you will help me spread the word of the Crowd Snorkel to all the masses! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wanna-invent-a-nose-vacuum/241121/24 "2004-04-22T14:36:15Z")
**jsgoddess** , there’s going to be a disclaimer on that Crowd Snorkel about “effective use of this product at gaming or science fiction conventions requires 300-yard arms”, right? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wanna-invent-a-nose-vacuum/241121/25 "2004-04-22T15:16:35Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > **jsgoddess** , there’s going to be a disclaimer on that Crowd Snorkel about “effective use of this product at gaming or science fiction conventions requires 300-yard arms”, right? Extend-O-Arms! (Does stink rise or settle? That is the question.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wanna-invent-a-nose-vacuum/241121.md?page=1)