# I Want A Boring Place To Retire To! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 6, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327 "2013-06-06T19:53:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/21 "2013-06-07T14:28:33Z")
[How 'bout this Boring community?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boring,_Oregon) ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/22 "2013-06-07T14:40:34Z")
[quote=“Sarabellum1976, post:19, topic:660327”] [li]City water is inexpensive, tastes very much like bottled water, and is neither “hard” nor “soft”. Excellent water pressure, since the land is very flat and the water tower is perched on the town’s only hill. [/li][/QUOTE] If it weren’t for the snows, I’d recommend many places in Upstate NY, but especially on this criteria. Much of the water in NYS is so great that they until recently just took water out of a stream and sent it right into the tap without having to treat it. Still might as far as I know. Once I went to NYC and commented on the relatively poor quality of the tap water when my grandmother who lived there mentioned that NYC was known for its good tasting tap water. It’s just that I was used to upstate NY tap water: when I moved down to Florida I thought hey, that NYC tap water wasn’t so bad after all. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/23 "2013-06-07T16:55:11Z")
> [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](#): > > [How 'bout this Boring community?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boring,_Oregon) I’m surprised **Robot Arm** didn’t specifically mention it. One problem with the immediate Portland area is the urban growth boundary has created artificially high housing prices (coupled with the demand of being an attractive place to live). Boring is just barely in it, but I wouldn’t recommend further out to the east. You really need to move a ways down valley to get cheap housing. Corvallis is recommended in this regard, but doesn’t meet several of the OP’s criteria. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/24 "2013-06-07T16:56:34Z")
You could achieve most of your goals by just staying inside your own house. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/25 "2013-06-07T16:57:47Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > You could achieve most of your goals by just staying inside your own house. Sure, but where’s the fun in that? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/26 "2013-06-07T17:36:52Z")
I can hardly think of a more boring place than [Green Valley, Arizona](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Valley,_Arizona). It is a retirement community just south of Tucson. It’s a whole town full of old people. Mild winters, relatively cheap cost of living, quiet, and boring, boring, boring. There are plenty of golf courses, but it’s not like they force you to play. Most of all, it’s incredibly boring. You would have about a 100-mile drive to an international airport, in Phoenix, but it’s a very boring drive, so you should be okay. ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/27 "2013-06-07T17:46:10Z")
Are the witness relocation people not meeting up to your expectations? Only offering you cold northern places? Does that mean that all of the quite southern towns are already full of small time informants? You don’t mention having to stay in the good ol US of A; would you consider Costa Rica or Panama? ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/28 "2013-06-07T18:52:33Z")
> [@Mr\_Quatro](#): > > The best place I have been bored was in northern Maine, but then I read that you don’t like snow: [Presque Isle, Maine - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presque_Isle,_Maine) > > it is so boring in Presque Isle, Maine that the teenagers park in front of the local Piggly Wiggly grocery store and count the trucks that come by. 🙂 Holy Crap! What did the OP ever do to you??:eek: ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/29 "2013-06-07T19:07:37Z")
> [@Si\_Amigo](#): > > [Welcome to Ansonia Ohio](http://www.ansoniaohio.us/)! You will fit right in. I grew up there and I can guarantee that you will be bored out of your ever loving mind. look at 50 miles around Memphis, International airport, lots to do when you want to do stuff, once yiou get outside of the metropolitan area, lots of very small town life, biggest attractions outside of memphis is Tupelo where Elvis was born and a lot of civil war sites. Mild winters, little ice and snow, far from the hurricanes etc. ---
**Author:** ![littlespeedysuperbike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/53a042/32.png) [@littlespeedysuperbike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/littlespeedysuperbike)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/30 "2013-06-09T03:00:03Z")
College Station, Texas, is little, cheap, warm, and boring - unless you find something interesting to do at Texas A&M University! ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/31 "2013-06-09T03:14:45Z")
You probably need to narrow it down a little. There are all different ways to be bored. You want warm and humid? Warm and dry? HOT and dry? If you want time to go by slowly you are really talking about a very small town with little connection to a large city, not a commute location. Personally I recommend San Miguel, California, which is small, dry-warm but not baking, mild winters, sleepy, and really quite nice. I doubt it has a golf course. It isn’t very close to anywhere important. It’s on the 101 corridor. Paso Robles is the medium sized town nearest to it. You can get to the ocean, just over the low mountain range. It isn’t in the Central Valley, which is a big plus. Check it out. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/32 "2013-06-09T04:26:26Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I can hardly think of a more boring place than [Green Valley, Arizona](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Valley,_Arizona). It is a retirement community just south of Tucson. It’s a whole town full of old people. Mild winters, relatively cheap cost of living, quiet, and boring, boring, boring. There are plenty of golf courses, but it’s not like they force you to play. Most of all, it’s incredibly boring. > > You would have about a 100-mile drive to an international airport, in Phoenix, but it’s a very boring drive, so you should be okay. The airport in Tucson is much closer, but more expensive. The only bonus to Green Valley I can think of is the little artist town of Tubec isn’t far away. Green Valley is full of retired civil servants. Alice is right, it’s very boring but amenities and medical care aren’t far away if you need them. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/33 "2013-06-09T09:15:35Z")
Raymond, MS You’re welcome to it. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/34 "2013-06-09T12:00:46Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > … And, just randomly using my system, welcome to [Versailles, IN](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Versailles,_Indiana), population 2,113. You’re welcome. I’ve been to Versailles – yes, the Indiana Versailles\* – a couple of times. [Here are some of my photos of the town](http://www.flickr.com/photos/75905404@N00/sets/72157625492050802/), where some of the architecture is, to put it mildly, very interesting. I don’t think Versailles is even the most boring town in southeastern Indiana! - I haven’t been to the Versailles in France, however ---
**Author:** ![GreasyJack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df705f/32.png) [@GreasyJack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreasyJack)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/35 "2013-06-09T15:58:35Z")
My thought had been [Bisbee, AZ](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisbee,_Arizona). It was a big mining town, but the mines closed back in the 70’s and real estate prices crashed. They’ve recovered a bit since, but it’s still possible to get a nice multi-bedroom house in the mid five figures. It has the Arizona lack of winter, but it’s up in the mountains so it isn’t quite as goddawful hot as Tuscon. It’s had a bit of a revival as an art town and there’s some cool historic mine tours, but you’d be hard pressed to really say there’s any major events or attraction. The population is older because when the mines closed younger people had to leave to find work and so there’s a definitely slower pace to life, but it isn’t a big retirement destination like some other Arizona towns. And, as far as I can tell, there’s no golf courses in town. The airport thing is the only stumbling block-- looks like the nearest airport with commercial service is Tuscon about 100 miles away. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/36 "2013-06-09T16:30:51Z")
Georgetown KY. Near the hospitals in Lexington, old fashioned architecture, weather gloomy in the winter but snow is minimal, and last time I was there a huge flock of vultures was going over so I thought it really was a dead town. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/37 "2013-06-09T18:34:46Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > The airport in Tucson is much closer, but more expensive. The only bonus to Green Valley I can think of is the little artist town of Tubec isn’t far away. Green Valley is full of retired civil servants. Alice is right, it’s very boring but amenities and medical care aren’t far away if you need them. I know Tucson has an airport- I flew in and out of it many times in my 16 years there. But I, for some reason, did not think that it was international when I posted. But you’re right- it is. Although, yes, it is more expensive than going to Phoenix. As for Kentucky, from what I keep hearing about it, it seems to be the new West Virginia. And that is not a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/38 "2013-06-09T21:24:45Z")
Middle or Eastern Tennessee rolls the sidewalks up at night. Major airports in Nashville, Chattanooga & Knoxville. Pick the right small town, & no major anythings. Real Estate is cheap, & energy costs low. No State Income Tax. If your looking for a 1 bedroom condo, email me. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/39 "2013-06-09T21:27:24Z")
deleted ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327/40 "2013-06-09T22:20:00Z")
Time for me has slowed down with retirement. I just finished my first year and am loving it. I mostly do hobbies and home projects with a few trips a year thrown in. It is just like summer vacation when you were a kid. Their are more places that will suit your requirements than places that don’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-boring-place-to-retire-to/660327.md?page=1)