# I want a hippopotamus!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 8, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176 "2001-10-08T20:16:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/1 "2001-10-08T20:16:34Z")
Yes, this is a serious question. And no, it’s not actually for me. I know someone who would honest to God really, seriously, like a **pygmy** hippopotamus. And who _ **may** _ have the resources to purchase one and care for it. I’ve spent some time on Google, and haven’t found the answers I seek. What I would like to know is: 1. Is it actually possible to buy them? 2. How much would one cost? Any ideas at all? 3. Would one need some sort of special veterinary license to keep one? 4. Should I tell this person they are crazy? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/2 "2001-10-08T20:27:04Z")
Well, I think I can answer #4 pretty simply: [Are hippos the most dangerous animal?](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mhippo.html) > [@](#): > > The hippo, found today throughout sub-Saharan Africa, is considered by many experts, explorers and Africans to be the most dangerous animal in Africa (not counting the mosquito)… The hippo is extremely aggressive, unpredictable and unafraid of humans, upsetting boats sometimes without provocation and chomping the occupants with its huge canine teeth and sharp incisors. You may say that the pygmy variety is more mild-mannered and affable. I say, YARK! Stay the hell away from them! ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/3 "2001-10-08T20:33:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\*Yes, this is a serious question. And no, it’s not actually for me. > > I know someone who would honest to God really, seriously, like a **pygmy** hippopotamus. And who _ **may** _ have the resources to purchase one and care for it. I’ve spent some time on Google, and haven’t found the answers I seek. What I would like to know is: > > 1. Is it actually possible to buy them? > 2. How much would one cost? Any ideas at all? > 3. Would one need some sort of special veterinary license to keep one? > 4. Should I tell this person they are crazy? \*\* 1. Probably not, unless this person has the funds to start their own zoological park (pay full-time wildlife veternarians, import/grow native foods, support more than one animal [pygmy hippos get lonely] 😃 ). Also, whatever country where they live would probably have to give permission for their export. They wouldn’t likely give that permission to an individual. 2. Dunno. Millions, possibly. 3. I would say yes. Every mammal is unique, and I’m sure hippos have some unique physiology that would require special study for any vet. 4. Yes. Hippos aren’t the cute jolly animals of “Fantasia”. They are very mean, even the pygmy ones. One wildlife show I just saw recently said that more people are attacked and killed by hippos in Africa than by any other predetory animal (lions, leopards, hyenas, etc.). They’re also very fast, at least faster than humans. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/4 "2001-10-08T21:28:04Z")
Is the pygmy hippopotamus an endangered species? If so, the Feds may make it very difficult for a private citizen to keep one. For non-endangered exotic animal species, whether you can keep them depends in part on state and local regulations. For example, in Kansas, there appears to be no state law against it, but some counties have ordinances against it. > [@](#): > > “People could say, `Let’s move to Leavenworth County and open a gorilla farm,’ and there’s nothing we could do about it,” Nye said. > . . . > But the state does not have a regulation that applies to exotic, nonindigenous animals such as lions and tigers. > Missouri leaves it up to local governments to determine their own regulations. > [http://www.kingsnake.com/forum/law/messages/5356.html](http://www.kingsnake.com/forum/law/messages/5356.html) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/5 "2001-10-08T21:47:34Z")
Well, looks like your ‘friend’😉 will just have to settle for a run-of-the-mill ordinary pet, like a giraffe or cuddly bengal tiger. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/6 "2001-10-08T22:03:56Z")
> **[Smithsonian's National Zoo](https://nationalzoo.si.edu/)** > > Always free of charge, the Smithsonian’s National Zoo is one of Washington D.C.’s, and the Smithsonian’s, most popular tourist destinations, with more than 2 million visitors from all over the world each year. The Zoo instills a lifelong commitment... Some info…among which states that they weigh 400-500 lbs, eat 15lbs of food a day and live 30-40 YEARS!!! I’d tell your friends that they’re beyond insane…even children are les expensive. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/7 "2001-10-08T22:08:15Z")
> [@](#): > > The skin secretes an oily, mucus fluid for lubrication. On pygmy hippos it is clear or whitish. Just the stuff I want staining my sofa. My husband’s secretions are bad enough. ---
**Author:** ![King\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7bcc69/32.png) [@King\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/8 "2001-10-08T22:12:42Z")
Given enough money and resources, who knows? If Micahel Jackson can have a private menagerie, why not your friend? OTOH, I don’t know if Jacko’s private zoo has anything more exotic than giraffes, elephants, tigers, orangutans, chimps, ostriches, and llamas. If I wanted a zoo animal, then I’d go to a zoo and inquire. > [@](#): > > America’s zoos have a little secret: They breed animals with no intention of keeping them. > > Every year, animals once admired at dozens of the country’s major zoos are sold or given away to dealers, contributing to a multibillion-dollar-a-year exotic species marketplace where they can be resold, auctioned off to the highest bidder or advertised to the public in specialty magazines. > > Some of these surplus zoo animals – including threatened or endangered species – end up as backyard pets, at a growing number of unaccredited roadside zoos or in the private collections of celebrities such as Michael Jackson and Kirstie Alley. > [http://www0.mercurycenter.com/nation/zoo/docs/zoomain020799.htm](http://www0.mercurycenter.com/nation/zoo/docs/zoomain020799.htm) Hippos have always beem one of my favorite animals. For some reason, I feel compelled to mention Peter Potamus and his patented hippo hurricane holler. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/9 "2001-10-08T22:14:09Z")
When I was at the Whipsnade animal park in England with **Fierra** last month, they claimed that not only were the pygmy hippos not endangered, but they were not even threatened. Surely not **millions** for one, right? I would have expected $10,000 or so. And while they do eat a lot, they’re just so damned cute! And, at only 3 feet tall and 400 pounds, they are not too scary. Right…? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/10 "2001-10-08T22:15:26Z")
[gayla peavey] I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas Only a Hippopotamus will do Don’t want a doll No dinky tinker toy I want a Hippopotamus to play with and enjoy! [/gayla peavey] Seriously, I’m pretty sure pygmy hippos are an endangered species, which means that they would be impossible to keep. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_The\_Bold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dale\_The\_Bold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_The_Bold)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/11 "2001-10-08T22:29:33Z")
[next verse] I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas Only a Hippopotamus will do No Crocodiles, or Rhinoceroses I only like Hippopotamuses And Hippopotamuses like me toooo 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/12 "2001-10-08T22:52:37Z")
There’s lots of room for him In our two-car garage. I’d feed him there and wash him there And give him his massage. … Mama says a hippo Would eat me up, but then Teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/13 "2001-10-08T22:59:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > **When I was at the Whipsnade animal park in England with Fierra last month, they claimed that not only were the pygmy hippos not endangered, but they were not even threatened.** According to the Convention on Trade in Endangered Species, Pygmy Hippos are considered Threatened at the “Vulnerable” level. There are basically three levels of “Threatened” species: “Critically Endangered,” “Endangered,” and “Vulnerable.” Therefore, technically speaking, Pygmy Hippos are considered Threatened, but not Endangered. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/14 "2001-10-09T00:27:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dale The Bold \* > \*\*[next verse] > I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas > Only a Hippopotamus will do > No Crocodiles, or Rhinoceroses > I only like Hippopotamuses > And Hippopotamuses like me toooo > > 😃 \*\* Dagnabbit! That blasted song started running through my head the instant I read the thread title, and I haven’t heard it in well over a decade! This on the same day that, for no reason whatsoever, that “Dead Puppies” song woke up and started going through my head over and over and over… ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/15 "2001-10-09T01:08:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Colibri \* > \*\*According to the Convention on Trade in Endangered Species, Pygmy Hippos are considered Threatened at the “Vulnerable” level. There are basically three levels of “Threatened” species: “Critically Endangered,” “Endangered,” and “Vulnerable.” Therefore, technically speaking, Pygmy Hippos are considered Threatened, but not Endangered. \*\* Ah…damn, I must have misread it or something. That’s a shame, as this pygmy hippo would have had a nice home. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/16 "2001-10-09T01:11:32Z")
**Una** : Are you _sure_ you want a hippo? Have you seen how they mark their territory? _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/17 "2001-10-09T01:55:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > \*\ ***Una** : Are you _sure_ you want a hippo? Have you seen how they mark their territory? _shudder_ \*\* I learned about it at Whipsnade - they defecate, and flick their tail around rapidly to “spread the wealth”. And no, _I_ don’t want one. My cats are enough. But someone special to me wants one… ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/18 "2001-10-09T02:11:23Z")
Has anyone seen those wildlife shows with hippos swimming around in water. Well if you have you’ve also seen a lot of feses floating around with them. We once had a peacock and that was disgusting enough. How about buying this special person a stuffed hippo? ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/19 "2001-10-09T02:36:01Z")
[These](http://www.exotichobbyist.com/forums/) folks might be able to help. You might also ask [here](http://acmepet.petsmart.com/club/bboard/exotic/index.html), though they seem to be geared more towards the more common exotic pets. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/20 "2001-10-09T02:38:49Z")
I shoot the hippopotamus With bullets made of platinum Because if I used leaden ones His hide is sure to flatten 'em. (Note: no actual hippos were harmed in the writing of this post). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176.md?page=2)