# I want a hippopotamus!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 8, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176 "2001-10-08T20:16:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/21 "2001-10-09T04:05:28Z")
> [@](#): > > According to the Convention on Trade in Endangered Species, Pygmy Hippos are considered Threatened at the “Vulnerable” level. There are basically three levels of “Threatened” species: “Critically Endangered,” “Endangered,” and “Vulnerable.” Therefore, technically speaking, Pygmy Hippos are considered Threatened, but not Endangered. So what does that mean for someone who would want one for a pet? Would one need a federal permit or not? ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/22 "2001-10-09T04:45:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > > \*\ ***Una** : Are you _sure_ you want a hippo? Have you seen how they mark their territory? _shudder_ \*\* > > I learned about it at Whipsnade - they defecate, and flick their tail around rapidly to “spread the wealth”. > > And no, _I_ don’t want one. My cats are enough. But someone special to me wants one… \*\* We were at a crocodile ranch in Oudtshoorn, South Africa last May. I was taking pictures of the giant crocodiles that they have there with my brother and my wife. My brother’s girlfriend was trying to take pictures of the pygmy hippo. The hippo backed its azz up to the fence and started pooping and twirling its tail. Needless to say, she wasn’t overly impressed by the hippo shit shower. We all were, though. Why not go for a bevy of meerkats instead? ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/23 "2001-10-09T12:20:29Z")
Thank you, everyone, for the suggestions. I am a little amazed it is so hard to find a firm price on a pygmy hippo, but I am still trying some of the links posted here. I did find a price on _common_ hippo meat for sale - it translated to about $3.32 a pound. Hmmmm…hippo ribeye… [sub]They wouldn’t ship hippo steaks, though.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![demanton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@demanton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/demanton)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/24 "2001-10-09T13:08:37Z")
The US Postal Service has very kindly included on their website [these](http://www.usps.gov/moversnet/howtopacka2.html#hippos) helpful hints for packing your hippo for shipping. Enjoy! p.s. Happy 100th post to me. One small step for a doper, one giant leap for a lurker… ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/25 "2001-10-09T13:10:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by demanton \* > **The US Postal Service has very kindly included on their website [these](http://www.usps.gov/moversnet/howtopacka2.html#hippos) helpful hints for packing your hippo for shipping. Enjoy!** :eek: OMIGOD! That’s a real site! I’m definitely printing and sending that one out… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![thermalribbon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@thermalribbon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thermalribbon)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/26 "2001-10-09T13:44:01Z")
What is this, a Shel Silverstein poem?? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/27 "2001-10-09T19:18:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RoboDude \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > According to the Convention on Trade in Endangered Species, Pygmy Hippos are considered Threatened at the “Vulnerable” level. There are basically three levels of “Threatened” species: “Critically Endangered,” “Endangered,” and “Vulnerable.” Therefore, technically speaking, Pygmy Hippos are considered Threatened, but not Endangered. > > So what does that mean for someone who would want one for a pet? Would one need a federal permit or not? \*\* According to the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species (CITES), Pygmy Hippos are considered an “Appendix II” species: From the CITES site: > [@](#): > > \*\* > Appendix-II specimens > > 1. An export permit or re-export certificate issued by the Management Authority of the State of export or re-export is required. > > An export permit may be issued only if the specimen was legally obtained and if the export will not be detrimental to the survival of the species. > > A re-export certificate may be issued only if the specimen was imported in accordance with the Convention. > > 1. In the case of a live animal or plant, it must be prepared and shipped to minimize any risk of injury, damage to health or cruel treatment. > > 2. No import permit is needed unless required by national law. \*\* Appendix I species, which are generally those that are more threatened, require both an import and an export permit. ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/28 "2001-10-10T04:33:44Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. Is it actually possible to buy them? It must be. The zoos have to get them from somewhere, don’t they? > [@](#): > > 1. Should I tell this person they are crazy? Judging from what others have said, probably. Why can’t your friend just get a nice cuddly lion like a normal person?🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@Jorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jorge)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/29 "2001-10-10T05:30:22Z")
Robodude and Colibri, you’re right generally speaking… Colibri, I believe you were collapsing the IUCN [critical, vulnerable, etc…] and CITES [Appendix 1,2,3] standards; one is a scientific determination, the other is the legal status according to int’l treaty. The treaty [CITES] only deals with transport across int’l boundaries, not whether or not you can have one - although the Appendix 1 highly endangered classification allows for trade only for legitimate public scientific and zoological institutions - and is enforced in the US by provisions of the Endangered Species Act. The ESA has its own lists of rare critters, split up as endangered and threatened, and is similar but not quite the same as the CITES 1 list [ESA refers to endangered for all reasons, and leans heavily on US species; CITES lists animals endangered by trade, not by other means]. The pygmy hippo is not an ESA-listed species, but is on the first two. IUCN bears moral, if not legal significance; CITES is the only particular legal question, and if you could find a source country that’ll give you one, you presumably could import a pygmy hippo to the US, under Federal law. There are some USDA laws about cage sizes, vet access, shipping methods, etc… as well, but these amount to expensive conditions rather than prohibitions. Then, as others pointed out, there are various state and local rules which step in, and likely prohibit it, except for a couple of southern states famous for free access to zoo critters of questionable provenance, and California if you’re a movie star. Short of running a private zoo, it’s a dumb idea. And running a private zoo gets you back to ungodly amounts of money, dealings with USDA and the AZA, etc… See that news article quoted above. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/30 "2001-10-10T05:41:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by demanton \* > \*\*The US Postal Service has very kindly included on their website [these](http://www.usps.gov/moversnet/howtopacka2.html#hippos) helpful hints for packing your hippo for shipping. Enjoy! > \*\* Oh, I did, I did. Any ideas on what counts as “soothing hippo music”? I suspect “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” doesn’t cut it… :eek: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/31 "2001-10-10T15:12:55Z")
**Jorge** , you are correct. Thank you for the clarifications. I am aware of those distinctions, and I perhaps should have been more explicit in my replies. (I deal a lot with the IUCN criteria in my work on birds.) ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/32 "2001-10-10T15:28:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Katisha \* > Any ideas on what counts as “soothing hippo music”? I suspect “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” doesn’t cut it… :eek: 😉 \*\* Well, there’s the “Waltz of the Flowers”, as danced to by the hippos in “Fantasia”. But that would probably simply enrage, not soothe, the hippo if excessively repeated. Or maybe the commercial jingle for the “Hungry Hungry Hippos” game? ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/33 "2001-10-10T16:34:14Z")
Hippos are so filthy, spraying excrement around and pooping in their pools, that even many zoos won’t keep them. How “special” is this friend to you? ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/34 "2001-10-10T16:49:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\*Hippos are so filthy, spraying excrement around and pooping in their pools, that even many zoos won’t keep them. How “special” is this friend to you? \*\* Err…she’s uhm… [sub]my mother.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/35 "2001-10-10T17:09:33Z")
Anthracite: > [@](#): > > Err…she’s uhm… [sub]my mother.[/sub] Well Anthracite you can solve this quick and easy. First of all tell your mother that Hippo’s even Pygmies are **WILD** animals. They should not be domesticated. And on top of this they are extremely ornery (sp?), very mean even. I would simply tell your mother that she can not have a wild animal, its just wrong. I am not an extremist animal rights person by any means, but a Hippo? Come on!! Who’s trying to kid who? ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/36 "2001-10-10T17:41:12Z")
I don’t know “who’s trying to kid who” here. 😕 She has a large piece of property, with a large pond in it. It didn’t seem like such a big deal - one, simple, pygmy hippo. It’s not like she was wanting an elephant, or a giraffe, or a rhinocerous, or a narwhal. We’re talking about a 3-foot high, 400 pound, herbivorous animal, smaller than a cow by a good measure - not some sort of magical creature. I didn’t think it would be that hard, but apparently it is. However, I don’t think it’s that _unreasonable_ or insane an idea. A common hippo would definitely be an insane idea. I have a hard time seeing a pygmy as being that bad. There’s a guy who lives south of where she does about 20 minutes who has a freaking tiger. Yes, a tiger, complete with stripes and teeth. Now **that’s** an animal that sounds outrageous to own. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176/37 "2001-10-10T19:03:24Z")
[screeching halt] > [@](#): > > **…Well, there’s the “Waltz of the Flowers”, as danced to by the hippos in "Fantasia…** Nope. Ponchielli’s “Dance of the Hours” from _La Gioconda_ - [Summary #6](http://www.filmsite.org/fant3.html) “Waltz of the Flowers” were the fall and winter fairies - [Summary #2](http://www.filmsite.org/fant.html). [/screeching halt] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-a-hippopotamus/86176.md?page=1)