# I want Author X resurrected so he can write story Y **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 20, 2008, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772 "2008-10-20T19:02:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/21 "2008-10-20T22:38:30Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I want to say that he needs an assignment (so as to make sure that there’s no more HHGttG) but in fact I think he simply needs a Mac, the Web, and as much food, coffee, tea, and brandy as he wants. His first assignment would be to unwrite the last Hitchhiker’s book. Then he could do whatever he wanted. (If _I_ can raise the dead, _he_ should be able to unwrite a book.) My own choice would be Mark Twain, not to finish anything from the last century or two but to see what he could do with this one. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/22 "2008-10-20T22:44:53Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > This first. Then Terry Pratchett, whenever he kicks (may it be quite a while from now!), to write another Discworld book. 'TERRY." “Y-y-yes?” 'YOU GOT SOME FACTS WRONG. YOU NEED TO CORRECT THEM." 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/23 "2008-10-20T22:48:01Z")
> [@Neidhart](#): > > Heinlein, to write the story of Nehemiah Scudder’s rise to power and time in office as President/Prophet: the more detailed the better. If you refer back to Hilda’s theory as explained in TNOTB and TCWWTW, you’ll find that’s exactly what he IS doing. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/24 "2008-10-20T22:50:08Z")
I’m tempted to say John Kennedy Toole; problem being that a) he might just kill himself again, and b) maybe he just had one really good book in him. Maybe Ambrose Bierce to write about whatever happened in Mexico. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/25 "2008-10-20T22:50:56Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > If you refer back to Hilda’s theory as explained in TNOTB and TCWWTW, you’ll find that’s exactly what he IS doing. :eek: Whom are you calling the Prophet: Senator Obama, Senator McCain, or President Bush? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/26 "2008-10-20T22:55:59Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Whom are you calling the Prophet: Senator Obama, Senator McCain, or President Bush? It’s not for me to give away other authors’ plotlines 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jkusters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jkusters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jkusters)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/27 "2008-10-20T23:00:38Z")
Heinlein, to at least give us an outline of how the Lazarus Long epic concludes. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/28 "2008-10-20T23:02:03Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’ve already given my answer in the above link, but I’ll repeat it: Tolkien, and the story of the other fronts in the RingWar, along with the somewhat-tangential War between the Dwarves & Orcs over Moria. See the OP already has mine. I’m so desperate for more of Middle-Earth I just role-play there instead. I think it is more fun than fanfic and besides I am a poor writer. 😃 BTW: Heinlein is my second choice, but I want him resurrected and placed at age 45 or so when he was at his most prolific. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/29 "2008-10-20T23:10:59Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > See the OP already has mine. I’m so desperate for more of Middle-Earth I just role-play there instead. I think it is more fun than fanfic and besides I am a poor writer. 😃 > > BTW: Heinlein is my second choice, but I want him resurrected and placed at age 45 or so when he was at his most prolific. Well, we’re resurrecting him; of course we’re also rejuvenating. And taking him out of the grave as well. Otherwise nobody’s getting any work done, as they’ll be screaming “Let me out! Let me out! You BASTARDS!!” [QUOTE=jkusters] Heinlein, to at least give us an outline of how the Lazarus Long epic concludes. [/QUOTE] Except we already know, of course; it’s as complete as it’s going to get, anyway. At the end of TO SAIL BEYOND THE SUNSET, Lazarus has reconciled with his son Colin Campbell and brought his grandfather back alive from the past; since Maureen is already resurrected, hot, and sleeping with him, his incestuous family is complete. And based on Woody’s meeting with the prophet-scientist from “Life-Line,” I think it’s clear that he never dies. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/30 "2008-10-20T23:15:37Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > His first assignment would be to unwrite the last Hitchhiker’s book. . . I always thought the the Guide-Bird was powerful enough to fulfill its orders, and then put reality back any way it wanted. The next book could be a sort of teenagers vs adults plot, with the Book and Random being the teens. Writing it would be the reverse of the problem he had after the first episode of the radio program. At the end of the radio program, Ford and Arthur had been thrown out an airlock in the depths of space. DNA said he hadn’t expected the program to be picked up and therefore hadn’t planned a way to save them. He couldn’t think of any way to do it that wasn’t ludicrously improbable. We know where he went from there. In a hypothetical sixth HHGG, he’d have a nearly omnipotent character and how do you choose what it will do when anything is possible? It’s like picking out a flavor at Baskin Robbins 10^31 flavors. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/31 "2008-10-20T23:18:22Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > I always thought the the Guide-Bird was powerful enough to fulfill its orders, and then put reality back any way it wanted. The next book could be a sort of teenagers vs adults plot, with the Book and Random being the teens. Writing it would be the reverse of the problem he had after the first episode of the radio program. > > At the end of the radio program, Ford and Arthur had been thrown out an airlock in the depths of space. DNA said he hadn’t expected the program to be picked up and therefore hadn’t planned a way to save them. He couldn’t think of any way to do it that wasn’t ludicrously improbable. We know where he went from there. > > In a hypothetical sixth HHGG, he’d have a nearly omnipotent character and how do you choose what it will do when anything is possible? It’s like picking out a flavor at Baskin Robbins 10^31 flavors. Better to go to Avogadro’s Ice Cream. They have 6.02 \* 10^23 flavors. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/32 "2008-10-20T23:41:23Z")
Robert Anton Wilson to finish the [Historical Illuminatus Chronicles.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Historical_Illuminatus_Chronicles) [Avram](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avram_Davidson) Davidson to write that promised Doctor Eszterhazy novel (all published of the Eszterhazy corpus is short stories). In particular, I’d like to see Eszterhazy in love. ---
**Author:** ![jkusters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jkusters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jkusters)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/33 "2008-10-21T00:25:47Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > …Lazarus has reconciled with his son Colin Campbell and brought his grandfather back alive from the past; since Maureen is already resurrected, hot, and sleeping with him, his incestuous family is complete. And based on Woody’s meeting with the prophet-scientist from “Life-Line,” I think it’s clear that he never dies. Yeah, but what of Boscone? (It’s been a long time since I read the last few books, but I recall this being a major open question.) Who is it, what is it, why is it doing what it does? I never really cared too much about all the bizarre incest stuff… ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/34 "2008-10-21T00:45:45Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Given the power to resurrect any dead author of your choosing to allow him (or her) time to finish a story you mandate, what author would you choose and what story would you commision? Aw, heck. I just realized I’ve a much, much better answer: one of the authors of the Gospels. any of 'em, really. or, Paul, failing that. or John of Patmos. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/35 "2008-10-21T01:00:03Z")
Steinbeck, to finish _The Acts of King Arthur and his Noble Knights_. Shakespeare, to do a trilogy of plays about King Arthur. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/36 "2008-10-21T02:46:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Nobody’s going to bring back Robert Jordan to finish The Wheel of Time series, are they? I suppose it’s just as well. I haven’t read the books, but I understand he wouldn’t finish the series anyway. What you don’t know is that Jordan in fact died in 1990 but, as per the OP, was brought back from the dead for the purpose of finishing his Wheel of Time series. When this was explained to him, he replied, “Then this series is never going to end!” ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/37 "2008-10-21T02:57:19Z")
[Cordwainer Smith](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cordwainer_Smith), to write anything else set in his ‘The Instrumentality of Mankind’ verse, which is some of the most unique SF I’ve ever read. Age 53, only one novel and thirty-two short stories. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/38 "2008-10-21T02:58:58Z")
Lewis Carroll, to write a third _Alice_ book. ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/39 "2008-10-21T07:23:21Z")
H. Beam Piper, to write anything he wants. Fuzzy, Para-Time, Empire, anything at all, just make it long. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772/40 "2008-10-21T13:29:50Z")
I, too, want Heinlein back, and writing at least a few more juveniles, and shorts. > [@Neidhart](#): > > Heinlein, to write the story of Nehemiah Scudder’s rise to power and time in office as President/Prophet: the more detailed the better. Heinlein had already plotted out this story, and even titled it. You can see it on the timeline for his future history that was published with some of his story collections: _The Stone Pillow_. Which means the plotting and mechanics had been worked out (to some degree) at least as far back as the mid-fifties. I think it was in _Expanded Universe_ that he gave a bare bones outline of the story, and then admitted that he really had little desire to write what was going to be such a bummer of a story. I’m not sure that even with **Skald** ’s reverse switch and time limits you’d be able to convince Heinlein to write any thing he didn’t want to write. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-author-x-resurrected-so-he-can-write-story-y/468772.md?page=3)