# I want my April Fool's Day news stories, dammit! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 31, 2016, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788 "2016-03-31T23:01:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/1 "2016-03-31T23:01:22Z")
It’s April Fool’s Day here already. I’ve checked both the news sites I regularly read, and I can’t find an April Fool’s day joke item. This means one of two things. They haven’t run one this year - which would make the baby Og cry - or they have, and I can’t pick it, which would be embarrassing. This is really getting to me. Quite often I forget it’s 1 April and am reading the news and come across some stupid story about liquorice trees or a newly found species of winged pig and wonder what the hell’s going on. This year I remembered, and went looking, and can’t find what is _always there_. Anyway, use this thread to link to silly 1 April stories when you wake up, Westerners… ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/2 "2016-03-31T23:03:23Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > It’s April Fool’s Day here already. I’ve checked both the news sites I regularly read, and I can’t find an April Fool’s day joke item. This means one of two things. They haven’t run one this year - which would make the baby Og cry - or they have, and I can’t pick it, which would be embarrassing. Or a third thing…the lack of a joke IS the joke. Gotcha! Heehee… ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/3 "2016-03-31T23:24:36Z")
April 1 was cancelled this year to make room for more celebrity news. Sorry you missed the memo ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/4 "2016-03-31T23:28:40Z")
I’d settle for an April 1 joke celebrity news story. I wouldn’t like it, but I’d take it if it was the only thing on offer. ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/5 "2016-03-31T23:33:24Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Or a third thing…the lack of a joke IS the joke. Gotcha! Heehee… LOL! That is a good one ! ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/6 "2016-03-31T23:36:13Z")
What about a slightly highfalutin [Biblical Archaeology](http://evangelicaltextualcriticism.blogspot.com.au/2016/03/breaking-news-archaeologists-find-q.html?showComment=1459466909702#c9038963551660295290) one? ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/7 "2016-04-01T00:05:25Z")
Can’t read that one, their server isn’t coping with the traffic. And it’s not in _my_ usual news sites. I wan’ my April Fool’s story, waaaaaaah! ---
**Author:** ![Noel\_Prosequi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b19c9b/32.png) [@Noel\_Prosequi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noel_Prosequi)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/8 "2016-04-01T00:27:08Z")
I heard on the radio this morning that the International Astronomical Union has decided to turn the zodiac metric. There will now only be 10 star signs, with a few added days to each of the new ones to make up the coverage of the whole year. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/9 "2016-04-01T00:54:00Z")
The [Trader Joe’s](https://www.yahoo.com/style/trader-joe-close-stores-2017-104416372.html) one was pretty good ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/10 "2016-04-01T03:18:41Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > The [Trader Joe’s](https://www.yahoo.com/style/trader-joe-close-stores-2017-104416372.html) one was pretty good Either you’ve copied that link wrong somehow, or they’ve pulled that story already. But here’s another link I found that still works, while it lasts: [Trader Joe’s to Close All Stores by 2017, Plans to Discontinue Products](https://www.yahoo.com/style/trader-joe-close-stores-2017-104416136.html) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/11 "2016-04-01T03:32:11Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Or a third thing…the lack of a joke IS the joke. Gotcha! Heehee… Raymond Smullyan, in the opening paragraphs of his book _What Is The Name Of This Book?_, tells of the day he fell for the April Fool’s prank that wasn’t. It’s hard to copy what I wrote once before with all the formatting intact, so here’s a link to an earlier post where I quoted the entire relevant text: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17253897&postcount=21](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17253897&postcount=21) ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/12 "2016-04-01T03:33:18Z")
Did you see that [Dave Grohl is going to take Brian Johnson’s place](http://musicfeeds.com.au/news/acdc-reveal-identity-of-their-new-frontman/)for the remaining dates of the AC/DC tour? ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/13 "2016-04-01T03:35:45Z")
Check out the front page of Wikipedia. > **[Main PageWelcome to Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page)** > > The 2022 World Snooker Championship was a professional tournament held from 16 April to 2 May 2022 at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield, England, its 46th consecutive year there. Broadcast by the BBC in the UK and by others elsewhere, the championship had £2,395,000 in prizes, with £500,000 for the winner. Ronnie O'Sullivan (pictured) made his 30th Crucible appearance, equalling Steve Davis's record. Reaching a record 20th quarter-final and a record 13th semi-final, O'Sullivan defeated Judd Trum... ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/14 "2016-04-01T04:04:50Z")
I was hoping the news about a _Mythbusters_ remake was an April Fool’s. Maybe it is. ---
**Author:** ![Fugazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/15 "2016-04-01T05:38:40Z")
That’s what you get for living on the wrong side of the planet. All us folks who aren’t living upside down will get our April Fools jokes on 1 April, as is natural. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/16 "2016-04-01T07:21:30Z")
You can believe whatever makes you happy, but in the end you’re just envious because my weekend has already started and Xmas is closer to me than you. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/17 "2016-04-01T08:35:53Z")
Something so funny from Google it cost some people job problems: > [@](#): > > Google is facing a fierce backlash after introducing a new tool for April Fools’ Day that has cost some people potential jobs. > > The new Gmail Mic Drop button, which sits next to the normal send button, ends an email thread forever by muting all future replies to the sender, and firing off a gif of a minion “mic dropping” at the same time… > > After an immediate backlash the feature was taken down early on Friday morning. Some people using it had failed to see the funny side, saying that by accidentally pressing the button instead of simply sending the email, they have appeared rude or unprofessional, in some cases costing them jobs. > **[Gmail's Mic Drop April fool backfires horribly as email users claim they lost...](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2016/04/01/gmails-mic-drop-april-fool-backfires-costing-people-their-jobs/)** > > Google is facing a fierce backlash after introducing a new tool for April Fools' Day that has cost some people potential jobs. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/18 "2016-04-01T11:31:43Z")
How about this one; https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?height=224&width=400&href=https://www.facebook.com/techinsider/videos/487762178088810/ ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/19 "2016-04-01T11:41:16Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > It’s April Fool’s Day here already. I’ve checked both the news sites I regularly read, and I can’t find an April Fool’s day joke item. This means one of two things. They haven’t run one this year - which would make the baby Og cry - or they have, and I can’t pick it, which would be embarrassing. Have you seen the actual news this year? What would be more absurd or unbelievable? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788/20 "2016-04-01T11:43:37Z")
[This](http://theleafsnation.com/2016/3/31/nhl-penalizes-maple-leafs-for-abuse-of-long-term-injurd-reserve) won’t make much sense unless you follow hockey, but it just about made me puke when I first read it. > [@](#): > > The club has been fined $3 million. > > The club will forfeit its first-round draft choice in 2016. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-my-april-fools-day-news-stories-dammit/750788.md?page=2)