# I want pity and I want it NOW! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2001, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471 "2001-07-06T10:38:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/1 "2001-07-06T10:38:03Z")
Yeah, I know - you’re all shocked - easy-going, good-natured me demanding pity. So ya wanna make something of it?!? I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy head. It evolved into sniffles and sneezes. I am beset by a _SUMMER COLD_ and it’s put me out of sorts. Not only am I not quite sick enough to stay in bed with a dirty book, with a doting family catering to my needs, but I’m facing a 4+ hour drive to Sarasota this afternoon to spend the weekend with the in-laws. Lest you protest “But **FairyChatMom** , why don’t you just go visit the in-laws another time!?!” - my beloved spouse is taking a class in St. Pete early tomorrow morning, so we have to go this weekend. \ Goodness knows I don’t ask a lot from all of you, but this is one of those circumstances that demands an out-of-the-ordinary response. Pity me. Pat my hand. Coo sympathetically. Bring me chocolates. Rub my feet. Pity me. Thank you for your support… \ ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/2 "2001-07-06T10:53:15Z")
Oh, you poor dear. You must be miserable. There, there. Just lie back on these big poofy pillows…there ya go. Close your eyes and relax. Would you like some tea? Or maybe some chicken soup? Go on, it’ll make you feel better. Tsk. You poor, poor, thing. Now just rest a while, and I’ll be back to check on you later… ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/3 "2001-07-06T10:59:43Z")
Cleans out the back seat of FCM’s car. ::_(honest enough to return the 37 cents found on the floor board - can I have this really nice Clic-Bic pen, though?)_:: Spreads out oversized comforter and pillows along back seat. Puts small cooler full of juice boxes and ginger ale on floor within easy reach. Puts box of Kleenex next to cooler. Ties garbage bag to back of front seat. ::_(for the empties and the snotty tissues, of course)_:: Finds large bargain hardcover book, cuts large hole in pages and inserts dirty book, safe from nosy onlookers. ::_(Hey, you always wanted to read The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire, riiiiiiight? [wink wink, nudge nudge.])_:: FairyChatHubby will drive, you sit and relax in the back and list to the nice music on the Walkman. And wave to me as you are driving throuh Orlando! ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/4 "2001-07-06T11:03:22Z")
{{{{Fairchatmom}}}} Rest. Liquids. Lots of both. As soon as you can. However you can. {{{promises chocolates once his demands are met}}} ---
**Author:** ![BooBoo316](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@BooBoo316](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BooBoo316)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/5 "2001-07-06T11:45:20Z")
Poor, poor, FairyChatMom. ☹ You get better soon. Let us know if you need anything. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/6 "2001-07-06T11:50:09Z")
**Breaks out the scented oil and offers his experienced hands for a footrub** ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/7 "2001-07-06T11:50:57Z")
oooo - big poofy pillows - thanks, **jr8**! The chicken soup sounds wonderful about now. **screech-owl** - yeah, I really _did_ wanna read that empire-thing book… we’ll be heading across to Gainesville then down 75, but I’ll prolly be too weak to wave anyway… I appreciate the reconfigured back seat tho - very nice! dang, **dpr** , I’m sick and you’re making demands?? lemme explain this pity thing - you cater to my pathetic whims till I snap out of it… Now, about those chocolates… ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/8 "2001-07-06T11:55:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BooBoo316 \* > \*\*Let us know if you need anything. \*\* \ummm, mebbe some more tissues?? And if you could dim the lights just a little? Thanks, **BB316**! **Mnementh** - my feet are in your hands… do your magic… \ ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/9 "2001-07-06T12:14:55Z")
I’m sorry, FCM. No cold is worse than a summer cold… Checklist: 1. Herb tea 2. Puffs (much softer) 3. Cough drops 4. My last two packets of Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold bought before the took it off the shelf 5. Chicken soup 6. A really good book Okay, sending them your way, FCM. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/10 "2001-07-06T12:21:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Yeah, I know - you’re all shocked - easy-going, good-natured me demanding pity. So ya wanna make something of it?!? > > I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy head. It evolved into sniffles and sneezes. I am beset by a _SUMMER COLD_ and it’s put me out of sorts. Not only am I not quite sick enough to stay in bed with a dirty book, with a doting family catering to my needs, but I’m facing a 4+ hour drive to Sarasota this afternoon to spend the weekend with the in-laws. > > \ \*\* So don’t go You’re sick! It’s a legit excuse. And avoiding in-laws is a **good thing**. \*\*FairyChatMom \*\*, pack up your Mortal Lover & all your little Changelings & send them off without you. You stay home & rest. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/11 "2001-07-06T12:24:51Z")
Awww… Hope you feel better. Summer colds suck. I’ll send some good vibes your way. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/12 "2001-07-06T12:44:14Z")
Awwww, **FCM** , I’m sorry to hear that you’re sick. Nothing worse than a cold during the summer. :: gets a care package ready for FCM :: - Kleenex – the kind with the lotion - Nyquil and Dayquil - Halls Cough drops - Trashy magazines like People and Us - Big box of Godiva Chocolate Feel better soon! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/13 "2001-07-06T13:00:47Z")
Your soup’s ready, **FCM**. How you doing? Any better? And once you finish your soup, I’ve got a nice container of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream for you for dessert… ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/14 "2001-07-06T13:33:01Z")
Pity me. Poor baby. Poor, poor baby! Awww…poor baby… ☹ Pat my hand. There, there, dear…:pat pat:: Coo sympathetically. Poor, sick FCM. Awwwwwwwwww. ::puts FCM’s head in her lap and strokes her hair:: poor, dear. Bring me chocolates. Look what I have here! Close your eyes…OK- open 'em! ::shows FCM a big box of Godiva chocolates.:: Better? Better? I knew that would work! Rub my feet. ::puts FCM’s feet up on her lap and gets out the pretty smelling lotion. Gives FCM a nice foot massage while cooing “Awwwww…poor, sick FCM!” Pity me. “Awwwww, I’m sorry you’re so sick! I feel so bad for you! Summer colds are the worst. Poor, poor baby!” (The above is almost verbatim what happens when my husband is sick- minus the chocolates. I have loads of practice!) Zette ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/15 "2001-07-06T13:37:19Z")
\*\*TroubleAgain \*\*- oooo - Puffs… so much nicer than this sleeve… ick - sorry… **Bosda** - actually, my in-laws are OK, and we’re planning to visit the Florida Aquatium in Tampa after hubby’s class is over - I like aquariums… aquaria?? _Fishies!!_ **Airman Doors** - thanks for the vibes - almost as soothing as a shoulder rub… I mean, if it’s not too much trouble… \ **Mauvaise** - Godiva chocolates?? The best cure-all in the world… uh, will you hang out this Quarantine sign?? I wouldn’t want my child to get my choc… er, germs… **jr8** - I’ve always been of the opinion that ice cream is the perfect defense against a cold - a variant of fighting fire with fire, right?? Thanks, sweetie! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/16 "2001-07-06T13:39:13Z")
dang, **Zette** - you’re _good_ - you should teach a seminar on this… ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/17 "2001-07-06T15:01:16Z")
Oooooh, I have _just_ the thing… _begins to rummage through medicine cabinet, cursing lightly when various things tumble off the shelves and pelt her on shoulders… dodges old birth control pills; a “blackhead remover” that never worked; a bottle of colace --oops–with no top, pills scatter all over the linoleum; some blue eyeshadow…_ Aha! Here it is! _triumphantly holds aloft the distinctive blue jar_ Vicks vapo-rub. Just like mom used to use! _dips three fingers in, emerges with a huge glob of the stuff. Eyes watering a bit from the camphor/menthol fumes, she approaches FCM_ A little of this on the chest and neck, you’ll think you’re six years old again, and boy will it clear your head. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/18 "2001-07-06T15:36:33Z")
FCM, I didn’t bring any medicine or nuthin, but I’ll be happy to make soothing ocean sounds for you while you sleep… \ \ \ \ **CAW!! CAW!! CAW!!** Arrr, matey… (With apologies to Homer Simpson. And you, hon. Can I give you a backrub to make up for it?) ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/19 "2001-07-06T16:00:24Z")
Fairy Chat Mom, Just for you, I will get started immediately inventing some chocolate flavored nyquil. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471/20 "2001-07-06T19:34:45Z")
Poor baby…here, let me make you some lemon tea with honey. Would you like a shot of brandy in it? ((((((FairyChatMom)))))) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-pity-and-i-want-it-now/71471.md?page=2)