# I want to be an Internet dater **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 5, 2001, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904 "2001-09-05T18:44:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/1 "2001-09-05T18:44:27Z")
So I was reading [this Pit thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=84930), about online dating nightmares, and I realized, “hey, I don’t have any horrific online dating stories to tell.” So maybe I ought to go out and get some. However, since I’m going in with my eyes wide open, I want my conscience clean, too. I want to be the first person to be _totally honest_ about myself and the shortcomings I would bring to any relationship. That way, when I sift through the ashes of my apartment afterward, I’ll be able to say that I told the truth. Okay, so I’ve got the ethics thing settled. Oh, yeah, and I don’t want to spend any money, except when I actually go on a date, because [honesty chime]_I’m cheap_[/honesty chime]. Now, how do I do this thing? Can you folks help get me started? I promise I’ll keep you updated. ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/2 "2001-09-05T18:52:42Z")
Are you looking to place an ad or respond to some? yahoo and excite both have free personal ads, excite seems to have less thinly-disguised porn ads (possibly more well-disguised ones). If you have any luck, let us know. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/3 "2001-09-05T19:00:53Z")
I’ve been waiting for this day! Shoot me an email, you sexy thing. Oh wait, you didn’t mean me, did you? ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/4 "2001-09-05T19:01:49Z")
If your local newspaper has a website, they may have free personal ads there, as well. Or you could just go into a random IRC channel and pretend to be an eighteen-year-old girl; I guarantee that you’ll get dozens of offers for dates. Not that I’d know from personal experience, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/5 "2001-09-05T19:15:19Z")
I want to place an ad, one which is uncompromising in its brutal self-awareness. I’m a male heterosexual, which means I want to date women. I figure if I tell the truth, only crazy women will respond. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/6 "2001-09-05T19:19:33Z")
> [@](#): > > …crazy women… Isn’t that redundant? ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/7 "2001-09-05T19:21:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > …crazy women… > > Isn’t that redundant? \*\* …Yet again, ladies and gentlemen, **thinksnow** demonstrates to us just why he is a single person… :d&r: ---
**Author:** ![demanton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@demanton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/demanton)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/8 "2001-09-05T21:48:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > …crazy women… > > Isn’t that redundant? \*\* “There is no such thing as a woman who goes bad, because they are all born bad, with the badness right inside of them.” William Faulkner - Hair ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/9 "2001-09-05T22:18:55Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m a male heterosexual, which means I want to date women. So _that’s_ what that means! _:: smacks thinksnow with a frozen trout ::_ Good luck Sofa! ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/10 "2001-09-05T23:05:02Z")
Cyn: born bad and getting badder. By the minute. Would you respond to such an ad? Or… Sofa King: willing to add to the badness inside you. Yeah. If I were single, I’d answer that ad. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/11 "2001-09-06T00:55:46Z")
“I want to put my evil inside you…” ---
**Author:** ![slackergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@slackergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slackergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/12 "2001-09-06T02:15:57Z")
I’ve had pretty good luck with [Match.com](http://Match.com), but sometimes the boy-type-people have to put out more effort than the girl-types. ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/13 "2001-09-06T02:57:45Z")
The last time I tried it (at Yahoo), I got 2 porn paysites, one Russian woman (from St. Petersburg, IIRC), and a guy. :eek: I think I’ll stick to bars - that doesn’t work, but at least I can get drunk. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/14 "2001-09-06T03:27:06Z")
The first thing to realize is that the ad is like a résumé or a job interview - you can be honest and still make yourself look good or bad. If you say in an interview that your previous boss didn’t like you, they’ll think you’re a whiner. And if you say in your ad that your last girlfriend was a bitch, the same thing happens. So do you want a girlfriend, or do you want interesting horror stories? If you ask for something in a specific and straightforward manner, most of your respondants will be the opposite. I was always looking for intelligence and usually got idiots. So if you want interesting stories, tell them you want a sane, intelligent, wholesome woman. That should net you at least one really interesting date. Put a flattering picture in. Some people won’t respond without a picture. Yahoo, Excite, [Match.com](http://Match.com) are probably still free (it’s been a while, thank goodness) A little surfing should find others. I always got one cheater(married man wanting an affair), one fisher(responds to every add, no substance in the response) and one insult every time I placed an ad. And got very few decent guys. ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/15 "2001-09-06T03:50:23Z")
If I remember right, [Match.com](http://Match.com) isn’t really free. Or it’s free to put an ad up, but not free to respond. Which is pretty damn annoying. They at least sell memberships for some reason. Good luck, but don’t be surprised if you get no real responses. I think I’ve put up 4 ads all told, and received 2 non-pornspam replies. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/16 "2001-09-06T04:36:34Z")
I found a great site for Internet dating. You can check it out [here](http://www.earth.com/calendar). ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/17 "2001-09-06T12:47:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > …crazy women… > > Isn’t that redundant? \*\* And yet, you love us still. What does that say about y’all? 😛 No, wait. Don’t answer that. Sometimes ignorance _is_ bliss. ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/18 "2001-09-06T14:05:02Z")
I put an ad on [Match.com](http://Match.com) (just for kicks!) and was surprised to get as many responses as I did. The ad was up for about 2 weeks and I got over 50 responses. I wasn’t interested in most of them so I didn’t bother to reply but I’ve made a few friends through that site. Just a tip… it really helps if you put a picture in your profile. I haven’t gotten any pornspam replys from [Match.com](http://Match.com). I’ve gotten tons from Yahoo’s personals though. That might be because I put up a partially nude picture though. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/19 "2001-09-06T14:32:15Z")
there is a site, [deafmatchinternational.com](http://deafmatchinternational.com) I thought deaf people might be more honest then hearing people & it seems they are. ---
**Author:** ![flyboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@flyboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flyboy)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904/20 "2001-09-06T14:52:11Z")
**Enderw** – Funny. If you decide to do it, definitely put a picture up with your ad. The only bad part to this is it will take anywhere from a couple days to over a week for them to post your picture. You can always forego the ad and just respond to ads that you like. If you do this, though, always include a picture with your response. Some women won’t even read what you have to say if there isn’t an attachment to the email. I did mine on AOL, which (as far as these things go) is a pretty good avenue for this stuff. I paid 3-4 bucks a month for use of [aol.com](http://aol.com), so I didn’t have to suffer their software on my computer. My big brother (who really wants to see me more active with women) went through a ton of ads and responded to ones he thought were decent. He wrote a short, generic letter and sent it to all these women and let me deal with the replies. And yes, you will have to do all the work. Don’t expect women to go trolling through hundreds of male ads. They don’t need to. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-be-an-internet-dater/79904.md?page=2)