# I want to BUMP BUMP BUMP "Santa's" beautiful ass from behind. POUND IT! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 24, 2008, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780 "2008-01-24T04:14:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/1 "2008-01-24T04:14:49Z")
I’ve said this recently; I’m not one of the fat acceptance crowd. But a round, beautiful, juicy ass that you could bite like a steak is a whole other matter. There’s a commercial out there right now that’s “heeelarious,” in which Mom, wearing a Santaesque red robe with white trim, is bending over and fussing with something. Adorable toddler descends the stairs, and, seeing nothing but the profile of her mom’s beautiful, round, delicious ass from behind, exclaims “Santa!” The joke, of course, is that mom should feel guilty for being “fat” and should lose weight and stuff. Except her face is actually thin and beautiful, it’s just that she’s rocking a nice, big toilet that’s covered up by that red robe. So fuck those people that made that commercial, because I’ve pounded one off to it at least three times. We’re talking big, beautiful, juicy prime rib ass that you just want to BUMP BUMP BUMP from behind with your pelvis while she keeps trying to stay quiet so that she doesn’t wake the kid up. We’re talking about grabbing on to her hip bones and riding her through the fields at dawn. She should not be ashamed. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/2 "2008-01-24T04:19:51Z")
That’s, um, that’s very nice of you to share that with us. Would that be fucking the mother like a masturbater? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/3 "2008-01-24T04:23:32Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Would that be fucking the mother like a masturbater? 😃 [/QUOTE] doubt that “master” is correct. ---
**Author:** ![dgrdfd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@dgrdfd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dgrdfd)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/4 "2008-01-24T04:23:53Z")
Good post. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/5 "2008-01-24T04:26:49Z")
So, have you had this Oedipus thing going on for a long time, or is this a recent aberration? That’s certainly enlightening, if not totally edifying. I’m happy for ya, dude! Really. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/6 "2008-01-24T04:29:24Z")
What’s the product they’re um…pushing? Gotta youtube link or something? ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/7 "2008-01-24T04:34:28Z")
[Ask and ye shall receive.](http://youtube.com/watch?v=tHkPUvuDNMQ) ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/8 "2008-01-24T04:38:02Z")
That’s some fun imagery you got going there, lil’ pardner! ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/9 "2008-01-24T05:30:20Z")
[QUOTE=interface2x] [Ask and ye shall receive.](http://youtube.com/watch?v=tHkPUvuDNMQ) [/QUOTE] Linky no worky. > [@](#): > > Internal Server Error I can’t pound off to that. Not three times anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/10 "2008-01-24T05:51:11Z")
[QUOTE=interface2x] [Ask and ye shall receive.](http://youtube.com/watch?v=tHkPUvuDNMQ) [/QUOTE] I betcha Lauren Graham has a highly poundable ass. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/11 "2008-01-24T05:59:29Z")
Oops, works now. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/12 "2008-01-24T06:34:26Z")
So, what product is it? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/13 "2008-01-24T06:36:29Z")
Based on the way her face looks, I think they added some extra padding to that Santa suit. I also think that this is the most MPSIMS thread that’s been posted in the Pit in at least the past… oh, say, 36 hours. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/14 "2008-01-24T06:38:21Z")
[QUOTE=TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW] We’re talking big, beautiful, juicy prime rib ass that you just want to BUMP BUMP BUMP from behind with your pelvis while she keeps trying to stay quiet so that she doesn’t wake the kid up. [/QUOTE] Sing it with me now… _I saw mommy…_ Nah, I better not. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/15 "2008-01-24T06:52:21Z")
Protein water? Is that what they’re calling jizz nowadays? ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/16 "2008-01-24T06:59:48Z")
[QUOTE=TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW] …she’s rocking a nice, big toilet… [/QUOTE] “toilet”? _“toilet”_? I’m not sure that I understand why you’d describe something sexually desirable with language used to describe something you shit in, frankly. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/17 "2008-01-24T07:02:10Z")
[QUOTE=Princhester] “toilet”? _“toilet”_? I’m not sure that I understand why you’d describe something sexually desirable with language used to describe something you shit in, frankly. [/QUOTE] Some people like that sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/18 "2008-01-24T07:10:06Z")
[QUOTE=TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW] We’re talking big, beautiful, juicy prime rib ass [/QUOTE] That would be the round. Prime rib is higher up. You know, from the rib area. ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/19 "2008-01-24T07:53:19Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] I betcha Lauren Graham has a highly poundable ass. [/QUOTE] “Fuck me, santa! Fuck me, santa!” She’s so freakin hot. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780/20 "2008-01-24T08:13:03Z")
The linked commercial does have a nice MILF. But I wouldn’t describe her ass as large at all. Nor is it very shapely since it’s covered up so much. The fact that you jerked off three times to it is kinda sad. Are you that desperate? Were you without internet access during this time? Couldn’t you at least find an exercise machine infomercial? Still, I agree with the general um, thrust of the OP. That certain strain of popular culture which takes it as a given that women should be worried about their fat ass is totally disconnected from the male psyche. But this is because these fashion trends are aimed at other women and not men, as far as I can see. You’ll note that skin mags designed for male enjoyment don’t tend to feature toothpicks bending over. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-bump-bump-bump-santas-beautiful-ass-from-behind-pound-it/434780.md?page=2)