# I Want to Make Fake Vanilla **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 7, 2019, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332 "2019-01-07T05:23:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332/41 "2019-01-09T04:01:44Z")
Prices for 16 oz. Madagascar vanilla: Penzey’s: $90 Savory Spice: $67 Nielsen-Massey (Amazon): $60 There are others that are much cheaper, but the descriptions contain weasel words like “contains vanilla extract”, or “vanilla blend with real Madagascar vanilla”, or, like McCormick, don’t even tell you where it comes from or what is in the bottle. Those aren’t products that I or any respectable baker would use. ---
**Author:** ![tofor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tofor/32/13727_2.png) [@tofor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tofor)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332/42 "2019-01-09T04:04:15Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > Luckily for you, this is exactly the sort of thing I’m supposed to use my ACS member access benefits for. If I’ve got this right, the procedure is basically: > … > So, if you can get your hands on sodium hydroxide, DMSO, nitrobenzene, diethyl ether, sodium bisulfite, concentrated sulfuric acid, and cyclohexane and want to make milligram quantities over a couple days work, knock yourself out. Better and better. Thank you so much for the summary. I have sodium hydroxide from my pretzel experiments, so I’m well on my way to collecting that list. When I have them all I may be back to ask for a more detailed procedure. ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332/43 "2019-01-09T05:05:40Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Read the reviews of the Sainsburys brand vanilla. Strewth, yeah, those reviews are terrible. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332/44 "2019-01-09T06:06:50Z")
> [@tofor](#): > > Better and better. Thank you so much for the summary. I have sodium hydroxide from my pretzel experiments, so I’m well on my way to collecting that list. When I have them all I may be back to ask for a more detailed procedure. Frankly, I think it’s a terrible idea. You’ve got acute toxicity solvents, highly flammable solvents, peroxide forming solvents, chronic toxicity solvents, environmentally hazardous solvents, strong acids, and strong bases. There’s issues with proper disposal of hazardous waste, with proper storage of dangerous materials, and most of those chemicals are on the DEA List II watchlist, meaning you will be scrutinized by any supplier. I wouldn’t want to do that procedure as written even at work, partially because I flatly refuse to work with ether. I’d be fine with it as an experiment for an undergraduate lab (with some changes for safety), but trying to do it at home is just asking for trouble, both in terms of safety and in terms of legality. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332/45 "2019-01-09T06:28:10Z")
Try not to blow yourself up. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332/46 "2019-01-09T07:48:20Z")
… and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332/47 "2019-01-09T14:53:39Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > I wouldn’t want to do that procedure as written even at work, partially because I flatly refuse to work with ether. Indeed. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332/48 "2019-01-09T16:00:24Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > Indeed. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. As much as I like Hunter S Thompson, there really are lots of dangers with diethyl ether. It’s highly volatile, highly flammable, and prone to forming explosive organic peroxides. Almost anything you can do with ether you can do with safer solvents. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332/49 "2019-01-09T16:38:09Z")
Diethyl ether is pretty much my favorite solvent, but it’s not for home use. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332/50 "2019-01-09T19:31:09Z")
> [@Telperion](#): > > Well, if you think that’s bad, it’s probably for the best that you don’t look up the method that uses castoreum, which is harvested from beaver anal glands. As an aside, our dog’s anal glands have a distinct vanilla note to them. In faint traces, the vanilla is very noticeable, but the other butt-notes soon overpower the vanilla-notes with proximity. I’ve had a few gross-out moments of “Hmmm, is someone making cookies? Better go check and OH DEAR MOTHER OF GOD!” ---
**Author:** ![tofor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tofor/32/13727_2.png) [@tofor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tofor)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2019, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332/51 "2019-01-10T02:40:48Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > Frankly, I think it’s a terrible idea. Good Grief, it _sounds_ like a terrible idea. My internet sarcasm communicator must be broken. Simply having some lye around the house is hardly “well on my way”. Don’t worry, you have thoroughly talked me out of attempting this project just by describing what it would entail. On the other hand, if I could just find some beaver anal glands, maybe that process is more approachable… ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2019, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332/52 "2019-01-14T06:36:31Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > Luckily for you, this is exactly the sort of thing I’m supposed to use my ACS member access benefits for. If I’ve got this right, the procedure is basically: (15 pages of every freaking chemical in the world) Oh,\*\*\* that \*\*\*recipe. My grandma used Hydropropyl Thiolate instead of the cyclohexane for a sweeter finish. Dennis [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-fake-vanilla/827332.md?page=2)