# I want to make really wealthy really religeous christians feel better about themselves ... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 18, 2015, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303 "2015-03-18T16:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/21 "2015-03-18T21:37:22Z")
> [@74westy](#): > > Cite that really wealthy really religious Christians _could_ feel better about themselves? Cite that there is an upper limit on smugness? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/22 "2015-03-18T21:38:25Z")
> [@Cabin\_Fever](#): > > I sent you a Certified UK Postal Money Order 3 days ago. > > Where is my camel? > And make sure that needle comes with it please. Needles are included. Camels are extra. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/23 "2015-03-18T22:35:06Z")
Since it’s taken so long to figure out how to do it, we should be able to assume that few if any of the Robber Barons made it. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2015, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/24 "2015-03-19T08:37:31Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > To get a Camel through the Eye of a Needle all you have to do is put the camel in a helicopter and fly it through. Have you ever tried to get a camel into a helicopter? It’s almost as hard as getting one through the eye of a … nm ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2015, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/25 "2015-03-19T11:55:57Z")
> [@Encinitas](#): > > Have you ever tried to get a camel into a helicopter? It’s almost as hard as getting one through the eye of a … > > nm I would think that would depend on the size of the helicopter. You want a big cargo helicopter – a Chinook or something bigger, not a dinky Bell-47, like they used in M_A_S\*H. It’s just like Jaffee’s character commented about the needle – “So show me where it says what size helicopter?” If the whole helicopter thing bothers you, put the camel on a cargo plane and use a bigger needle. Heck, you’re rich! and it’s much easier for a very rich man to make a camel go through the eye of a needle. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2015, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/26 "2015-03-19T11:59:23Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Needles are included. Camels are extra. Not on Hump Day. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2015, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/27 "2015-03-19T12:00:01Z")
> [@Encinitas](#): > > Have you ever tried to get a camel into a helicopter? I’d walk a mile for a Camel. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/28 "2015-04-20T15:31:52Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > _Mad_ magazine’s Al Jaffee answered this pressing need in his 1970 paperback _The Mad book of Magic and Other Dirty Tricks_. > To get a Camel through the Eye of a Needle all you have to do is put the camel in a helicopter and fly it through. “So show me where it says what _size_ needle!” > > the best part is, No Camels get Injured During the Making of this potentially blasphemous exercise. > > [Al Jaffee's Mad Book of Magic and Other Dirty Tricks: EDITORS OF MAD MAGAZINE: 9780446944069: Amazon.com: Books](http://www.amazon.com/Jaffees-Magic-Other-Dirty-Tricks/dp/0446944068) Leave it to Al Jaffee to find a clever answer. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/29 "2015-04-20T15:36:37Z")
Some Dopers may be able to answer this old elephant joke: What’s harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen? ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/30 "2015-04-20T15:43:50Z")
Camel through the eye of a needle? Damn, I’ve been doing it the wrong way. And here I was thinking it was dead easy, although I’ve got a lot of one-eyed camels. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/31 "2015-04-20T17:49:05Z")
I thought a great business model is to sell a service that would pass a recently fertilized camels egg (or zygote) though a needle before implanting it in the camels womb. The rich person on judgement day would have a specific camel to enter into evidence on his behalf. A hefty fee would be charged for this service\* and if the camel died then the rich man could by another because always better to have the live one on hand for such a occasion. - since the only obligation on the rich man was to pay money that he has in abundance the claim that it was very easy for the camel to pass though the eye of the needle justifies his wealth, he needed the wealth to make it easy, and thus it is easy for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/32 "2015-04-20T17:58:10Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > I thought a great business model is to sell a service that would pass a recently fertilized camels egg (or zygote) though a needle before implanting it in the camels womb. The rich person on judgement day would have a specific camel to enter into evidence on his behalf. A hefty fee would be charged for this service\* and if the camel died then the rich man could by another because always better to have the live one on hand for such a occasion. > > - since the only obligation on the rich man was to pay money that he has in abundance the claim that it was very easy for the camel to pass though the eye of the needle justifies his wealth, he needed the wealth to make it easy, and thus it is easy for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I like this idea, but it could end up with Pro-Camel-Life people screaming at Pro-Camel-Choice people. Plus the catholic church is against all that in vitro fertilization stuff. I think it would be less controversial to pulp and juice adult camels rather then mess with helpless little camel babies. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/33 "2015-04-20T22:47:24Z")
I’d be curious how easy it is for a deeply religious Christian to get into Heaven after recommending that rich people be blended into goo and threaded through a needle hole. It always seemed to me like if you believe that there’s a Heaven and a not-Heaven (e.g. Hell), then God’s got it in hand to deal with all the wealthy, gay, heathen, etc. people of the world without anyone else’s help here on Earth. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/34 "2015-04-20T23:38:30Z")
Maybe you could like, have a camel and name it Eye of the Needle, and have them crawl up his ass and see if they can come out his mouth? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303/35 "2015-04-21T00:27:21Z")
I’ll wait for new new enhanced second-generation version of your product, the Turbo-Encamelator. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-make-really-wealthy-really-religeous-christians-feel-better-about-themselves/715303.md?page=1)