# I want to move across country, but my dad is getting older and will need me...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-move-across-country-but-my-dad-is-getting-older-and-will-need-me/653095
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [March 16, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-move-across-country-but-my-dad-is-getting-older-and-will-need-me/653095 "2013-03-16T15:28:23Z")
**Posts on this page:** 2
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)
#### Post date: [March 18, 2013, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-move-across-country-but-my-dad-is-getting-older-and-will-need-me/653095/21 "2013-03-18T15:36:27Z")
> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> It is not going to be that easy for you to just pack up and leave and cut ties, even to the extent that you are intending to. How about some questions:
>
> How is your wife reacting to all this?
> What about your kids?
> What will you do if Dad needs to move in with you tomorrow?
> Come to think of it, can’t dad move to Cali with you, or are you just trying to get away?
>
> In the end, however, you cannot be responsible for another adult. Dad is going to make his mistakes or not make them. And are you willing to put your own life on hold for him?
>
> Good luck. You do not have an easy decision in front of you. And I speak as someone who did cut off their parents, and am now facing something similar with an aging dad - but mine is thankfully very financially savvy and will be OK even if I move out of the area.
My wife has been talking about getting away for a while. We discussed Charlottesville, which is about 80 miles away. But being in California last week, spending time with my brother and his wife and just enjoying LA, she really wants to move there. My sister in law works at Cedar Sinai and is fairly confident she can get my wife a job their when she graduates.
Oddly enough, my dad’s wife is from LA. He refuses to visit my brother out there because that’s where his wife’s “former life” was and he has I desire to go. Fucking stupid shit. So he definitely wouldn’t move there.
I’m not trying to cut anyone off. I just want to do something different with my life. If my dad did want to move out there, I’d be fine with it.
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### Author:  [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)
#### Post date: [March 18, 2013, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-move-across-country-but-my-dad-is-getting-older-and-will-need-me/653095/22 "2013-03-18T15:45:17Z")
> [@newcrasher](#):
>
> I was in the financial industry so I managed it for him… he would discuss his finances with me. Unbeknownst to me he withdrew the money, .now he has less than $50k. When I found out about his risky investing (gambling) I begged him to get out, or at least take half out to be safe. He didn’t. ?
He worked hard to lose that million dollars.
He let you manage his money for him. Then he intentionally stopped letting you, and then actively refused to take your advice after you “begged him”.
You tried your best.
You’ve been a good son.
He’s been a bad father.
It’s not your fault.
Go to California.
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