# I want to play Dungeons and Dragons with the people in the advertisment. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 20, 2007, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542 "2007-07-20T15:25:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/21 "2007-07-20T18:04:31Z")
**VCO3** , I wonder something, and hope you’ll forgive me for the wondering. It sounds as if you’re looking for a group of pretty stable, even-keeled people to play with. Your board persona often comes across as someone who keeps the volume turned up to 11 and who gets a bit of pleasure out of saying shocking things, just to see how people respond to the shock. Look at the second paragraph of your OP, an OP guaranteed to attract gamers, in which you insult gamers. If the question is whether it’s a hopeless dream for you specifically to play with attractive, even-keeled people, it seems to me that, absent a major difference between your board persona and your off-board persona, the answer would be yes. Have you taken that into consideration? Unless you can show a more diplomatic side to the even-keeled gamers, they’re likely to shun you in favor of gaming with other even-keeled gamers, leaving you to game with the trolls and troglodytes. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/22 "2007-07-20T18:20:41Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness] I know one guy who’s very smug about forming a gaming group comprising his wife and a bunch of airline stewardesses. Daniel [/QUOTE] Not _necessarily_ something to be smug about. Are they Southwest flight attendants? ---
**Author:** ![Sofaspud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8491ac/32.png) [@Sofaspud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofaspud)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/23 "2007-07-20T18:20:59Z")
Re: identifying fellow gamers in non-gaming settings: I’ve had the best luck personally by doing some subtle things that let those ‘in the know’ identify me as a gamer, without coming across as Comic-Book Guy. This is how I met my current group, which isn’t quite the commercial but is definitely not an ATHF group (I had to Google ATHF, if that gives you a clue). Anyway, it wasn’t easy finding a mature group. The easy ones to find are precisely the ones you don’t really want to hang with. I found that letting them find me was easier than looking myself, but for that, you have to advertise, kinda. Without being annoying. There’s a few ways, but subtlety is key. The most successful so far has been my license plate frame, actually. You can get these made pretty cheap (look for kiosks in the mall around Christmastime). Mine simply says “Alumni - Miskatonic University”. Only the people who I want to get it get it, everyone else just assumes that M. U. is the real deal. (It’s really funny when someone is totally whooshed and starts saying something like “Oh, I heard of that school. My cousin went there!”. Snrk!) At work, I’ve got a couple printouts of funny strips from _Ctrl-Alt-Del_ and _Knights of the Dinner Table_ up in my cube. Again, those in the know get it, those who aren’t, don’t. No fuss, no muss. The people you’re looking for are good at flying under the radar. They have to be – if they weren’t, they’d be the socially inept nerds you don’t want to hang out with anyway. 🙂 So keep your eyes open and look for the subtle stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/24 "2007-07-20T18:21:30Z")
[QUOTE=Fiver] Not _necessarily_ something to be smug about. Are they Southwest flight attendants? [/QUOTE] Or Air India? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/25 "2007-07-20T18:21:34Z")
Our group of five are all 30-somethings (a few closing on 40), college-educated, who own their homes. Married/father of two/doctor/male Married/no children/high-level corporate manager/male Single/no children/web developer/male Single/no children/not sure of his exact job/male Married/no children/writer/female (me) Married/no children/senior web developer/male (husband) Everyone bathes daily. Everyone puts their adult responsibilities first. No one lives with their parents. Everyone is perfectly normal. If you want to add in the other four players we used to have: Married/no children/web developer/male (though not married at the time) Married/father of one/mid-level tech manager/male Married/father of two/programmer/male (though he wasn’t married w/children when he played) Married/no children/not sure of her job/female (wife of the corp. manager above) ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/26 "2007-07-20T18:46:25Z")
[QUOTE=Flutterby] the ST who worked for Blizzard, [/QUOTE] BioWare, not Blizzard. Sorry, I got them mixed up. I knew it started with a B.. (can you tell I’m not much of a computer gamer?) ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/27 "2007-07-20T19:30:06Z")
Sounds like my group. We are all oddball, but none of us fit the usual gamer/SCAdian mold. We wash, dress professionally, and have rather wide ranging interests. Hell, none of us even have traditional geek careers. Myself, 29, financial statistician. My incredibly hot wife, 26, artist & homemaker. My grad school pal, 26, law student & political philosophy PhD candidate. His very attractive girlfriend, 26, law student. Husband of a fellow grad student, late twentysomething, investment banker. Mutual friend of ours, early thirties, attorney. We don’t smoke weed, we don’t eat cheetos, and by the grace of fucking god, we do _not_ shoot the darkness with magic missiles. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/28 "2007-07-20T19:36:54Z")
[QUOTE=Sofaspud] The most successful so far has been my license plate frame, actually. You can get these made pretty cheap (look for kiosks in the mall around Christmastime). Mine simply says “Alumni - Miskatonic University”. Only the people who I want to get it get it, everyone else just assumes that M. U. is the real deal. [/QUOTE] I’m a D&D player, but relatively new at it. Could you explain this one to me? ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/29 "2007-07-20T19:45:20Z")
[QUOTE=Phase42] I’m a D&D player, but relatively new at it. Could you explain this one to me? [/QUOTE] Nothing strictly to do with D&D. It is a Lovecraft reference. > **[Arkham](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miskatonic_University)** > > Arkham (/ˈɑːrkəm/) is a fictional city situated in Massachusetts, United States. An integral part of the Lovecraft Country setting created by H. P. Lovecraft, Arkham is featured in many of his stories and those of other Cthulhu Mythos writers. Arkham House, a publishing company started by two of Lovecraft's correspondents, August Derleth and Donald Wandrei, takes its name from this city as a tribute. Arkham Asylum, a fictional mental hospital in DC Comics' Batman mythos, is also named after Lov... ---
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/30 "2007-07-20T19:47:39Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] I’m interested in starting to play D&D at the ripe old age of 27. But here’s the thing - I really, really don’t like being around the type of people that probably make up 99% of the D&D gamer base - weirdos, nerds, and mutants who play it in their parents’ basement, smoke weed and listen to death metal, and nose-laugh at _Aqua Teen_ references that they’ll keep making every seven seconds. I want to play with the pretty blonde girl, the affable black guy, and the clean-cut white guy around a dinner table. I want us to have a pizza and maybe some sodas on-hand. I want everything to be well-lit. Is this a hopeless dream? [/QUOTE] By some definitions, “nerd” is anyone who plays D&D, which makes your request impossible. Why is it so important that your gaming group _look_ a certain way? When I go trekking, I look for a certain type of person. When I play Settlers of Catan, I look for a different type of person. Sometimes they overlap, often they don’t. If someone is relaxing to play with and can give you a good game, does it really matter if they are a pot-smoking trekkie who participates in “Greedo shot first” SDMB threads? ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/31 "2007-07-20T19:52:04Z")
[QUOTE=Windwalker] By some definitions, “nerd” is anyone who plays D&D, which makes your request impossible. Why is it so important that your gaming group _look_ a certain way? When I go trekking, I look for a certain type of person. When I play Settlers of Catan, I look for a different type of person. Sometimes they overlap, often they don’t. If someone is relaxing to play with and can give you a good game, does it really matter if they are a pot-smoking trekkie who participates in “Greedo shot first” SDMB threads? [/QUOTE] Um, Greedo is Star Wars. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/32 "2007-07-20T19:59:16Z")
[QUOTE=Maeglin] We don’t smoke weed, we don’t eat cheetos, and by the grace of fucking god, we do _not_ shoot the darkness with magic missiles. [/QUOTE] That’s only something newbies do. Experienced people know that you should attack the darkness with Melf’s Acid Arrow. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/33 "2007-07-20T20:09:29Z")
[QUOTE=MGibson] That’s only something newbies do. Experienced people know that you should attack the darkness with Melf’s Acid Arrow. [/QUOTE] Excellent point. Melf’s Acid Arrow requires a ranged touch attack, which means you can do it on a square instead of on a target, which means you don’t need to be able to see where you’re shooting it (although you’ll still suffer the 50% miss chance, although if you have blindfight you can roll it twice), whereas magic missile can only be cast on one or more creatures, which means you must be able to see the creatures to even attempt the spell, indicating that oh my god I really am that guy. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/34 "2007-07-20T20:22:25Z")
My current roleplaying group consists of me, a 29-year-old bank employee, two 25-year-old students (one musical genius and one computer whiz), and a 33-year-old optometrist. We’re all geeks, but you wouldn’t know from looking at us. If I may add something: I roleplayed intensely from the mid-80s to the mid-90s. Then I didn’t play at all for ten years. Playing with bright adults is a completely different thing. People who actually think about what their characters might do in a certain situation and who care about what happens, as opposed to charging as many orcs as possible… It’s great. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/35 "2007-07-20T20:25:23Z")
[QUOTE=Maeglin] Nothing strictly to do with D&D. It is a Lovecraft reference. > **[Arkham](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miskatonic_University)** > > Arkham (/ˈɑːrkəm/) is a fictional city situated in Massachusetts, United States. An integral part of the Lovecraft Country setting created by H. P. Lovecraft, Arkham is featured in many of his stories and those of other Cthulhu Mythos writers. Arkham House, a publishing company started by two of Lovecraft's correspondents, August Derleth and Donald Wandrei, takes its name from this city as a tribute. Arkham Asylum, a fictional mental hospital in DC Comics' Batman mythos, is also named after Lov... [/QUOTE] Ah, thanks. By spooky coincidence, “Herbert West - Reanimator” was mentioned just the other day in the Something Positive webcomic. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/36 "2007-07-20T20:29:42Z")
I gotta admit - I wonder if you’re being whooshed. \*\*VC03 \*\*tends to launch threads and stir the pot without re-engaging. You guys have taken his request seriously and offered great insights, seeking to help a potential new enthusiast. But I wonder if the OP is not about sincere interest, but instead a cynical commentary on how unrealistic he perceives the commercial to be? **VC03** , if I have that wrong and you genuinely want to start gaming, I apologize… I am not a gamer myself, but do participate in activities where finding the right group who have the skills AND the personality to work together is really, really hard - but entirely worth it when a good team is assembled… ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/37 "2007-07-20T20:35:05Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] I’m interested in starting to play D&D at the ripe old age of 27. [/QUOTE] Just lie down until the feeling goes away. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/38 "2007-07-20T20:39:59Z")
A Lovecraft reference in SP isn’t a spooky coincidence, it’s a statistical certainty. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/39 "2007-07-20T20:54:34Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness] Well, let’s see. At one point or another I’ve had a gaming group with a pretty blonde girl, an affable black guy, and a clean-cut white guy. I don’t think I’ve ever played with all of them simultaneously. I do, however, know plenty of very well-adjusted folks who game, including several who are raising families in upper-middle-class backgrounds with professional careers, and I know one guy who’s very smug about forming a gaming group comprising his wife and a bunch of airline stewardesses. [/QUOTE] Man, I totally want to sit in on a **Left Hand of Dorkness** gaming session. Stupid huge distances separating people. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2007, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542/40 "2007-07-20T21:00:11Z")
[QUOTE=chorpler] Man, I totally want to sit in on a **Left Hand of Dorkness** gaming session. Stupid huge distances separating people. [/QUOTE] If you make it to Gencon, I might be able to hook you up with a game my brother’s running there :). Daniel [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-want-to-play-dungeons-and-dragons-with-the-people-in-the-advertisment/412542.md?page=3)