# I warmed butter in my boobies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 30, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870 "2004-04-30T16:21:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/1 "2004-04-30T16:21:50Z")
Last night, I had three pats of butter in my cleavage. Allow me to explain… I wanted to take a 15 minute break at 10:00 pm so I could catch the first few minutes of CSI in the staff lounge. There was a left over loaf of bread atop the microwave and several pats of butter in the staff refrigerator. The butter was so cold that it was rock solid, which meant it would spread in uneven chunks and tear the bread, neither of which I like. My first thought was to just let them sit out on my desk, but that seemed to be taking too long. Microwave them? These were wrapped in foil (NOT a good thing to put in a microwave, unless you enjoy watching all the pretty sparks) and the last time I tried to soften butter like that I ended up liquefying half of the stick. So, I tried the “Karate Kid” approach. I rubbed my hands together vigorously and held the pats tightly between them. Still not fast enough for me, plus there was other work I wanted to do before I went on my break and the clock was ticking. Try passive body heat, then? Neither my skirt nor my blouse had pockets. That left ONE area… :eek: I looked around me, even though I knew both coworkers were up at the front desk and I was in the back offices, and with just a slight hesitation, stuffed the three little foil packets in my cleavage. By the time I left for my break, the butter softened enough to be spreadable. Of course, I remove them while I was still in the back because I didn’t want anyone to see me digging around my bosoms, and I’m sure THEY didn’t want to get an eyeful either. This is either very cleaver, very weird, or both. What say you to this? ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/2 "2004-04-30T16:23:51Z")
This is what happens when you jog too much whil lactating. ---
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/3 "2004-04-30T16:31:39Z")
OK, tell me how I’m supposed to keep my mine on work now! All I can think of is warm buttered boobies 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/4 "2004-04-30T16:33:05Z")
> [@](#): > > I looked around me, even though I knew both coworkers were up at the front desk and I was in the back offices, and with just a slight hesitation, stuffed the three little foil packets in my cleavage. By the time I left for my break, the butter softened enough to be spreadable. Of course, I remove them while I was still in the back because I didn’t want anyone to see me digging around my bosoms, and I’m sure THEY didn’t want to get an eyeful either. Didn’t anyone send Marvel a copy of the memo on the new security camera system? ---
**Author:** ![simply\_cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@simply\_cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simply_cats)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/5 "2004-04-30T16:33:22Z")
You’re a genius 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/6 "2004-04-30T16:48:12Z")
(Nipples in) Butter… _“Perky!”_ ---
**Author:** ![merge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@merge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merge)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/7 "2004-04-30T16:51:52Z")
I am living without a microwave for the first time in my life right now (new apartment, no microwave yet) and this thread is giving me a pretty good idea for when my fiancee comes over tonight… “Hey honey… can you warm me up some butter?” we can have some fun with that! ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/8 "2004-04-30T16:52:01Z")
I say… That may well be the coolest story I have ever heard. and also… If you’re not busy later, i’ve some chocolate to melt. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/9 "2004-04-30T16:55:29Z")
> [@VenusProbe](#): > > OK, tell me how I’m supposed to keep my mine on work now! All I can think of is warm buttered boobies 😃 Mmmmm… Warm buttered boobies… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/10 "2004-04-30T16:55:52Z")
My sister used to keep her hands warm in her muff. I suppose she could have used it to warm butter as well. ---
**Author:** ![Martha\_Medea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@Martha\_Medea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martha_Medea)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/11 "2004-04-30T17:01:25Z")
I’ve been known to sit on rock-hard foil wrapped butter portions. It does the trick. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/12 "2004-04-30T17:10:23Z")
Cleavage…its not just for show anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/13 "2004-04-30T17:14:35Z")
What was that movie, The Boss’s Wife? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/14 "2004-04-30T17:35:51Z")
How do you thaw a frozen hot dog? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/15 "2004-04-30T18:45:48Z")
**Marvel** is female, right? I mean, if so, then this is sexy. Otherwise, it’s disgusting. Women can get away with _sooooo_ much… ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/16 "2004-04-30T19:00:15Z")
That’s how I warmed my hubby’s honeybun. Pop betwixt one’s breastes for about 20-30 seconds and ta-da! Nicely warmed and read to eat! Just like mom used to make? eeewwwww. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/17 "2004-04-30T19:30:59Z")
Has anyone tried the “shot” called “Buttery Nipple”??? YUMMMMY!!! Here are the ingredients for a “Buttery nipple with a cherry kiss”: Butterscotch schnapps, Bailey’s irish cream, Cherry liqueur HAPPY HOUR on the SDMB! Cheers! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/18 "2004-04-30T20:14:40Z")
> [@Marvel](#): > > Last night, I had three pats of butter in my cleavage. Allow me to explain… > > I wanted to take a 15 minute break at 10:00 pm so I could catch the first few minutes of CSI in the staff lounge. There was a left over loaf of bread atop the microwave and several pats of butter in the staff refrigerator. The butter was so cold that it was rock solid, which meant it would spread in uneven chunks and tear the bread, neither of which I like. My first thought was to just let them sit out on my desk, but that seemed to be taking too long. Microwave them? These were wrapped in foil (NOT a good thing to put in a microwave, unless you enjoy watching all the pretty sparks) and the last time I tried to soften butter like that I ended up liquefying half of the stick. So, I tried the “Karate Kid” approach. I rubbed my hands together vigorously and held the pats tightly between them. Still not fast enough for me, plus there was other work I wanted to do before I went on my break and the clock was ticking. Try passive body heat, then? Neither my skirt nor my blouse had pockets. That left ONE area… :eek: > > I looked around me, even though I knew both coworkers were up at the front desk and I was in the back offices, and with just a slight hesitation, stuffed the three little foil packets in my cleavage. Did you rub the boobies together vigorously first? Hey, it’s a valid question! ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/19 "2004-04-30T20:23:49Z")
[whine]But I don’t LIKE buttermilk![/whine] ---
**Author:** ![luluBahrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e5b9ba/32.png) [@luluBahrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluBahrain)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870/20 "2004-04-30T20:28:51Z")
I used to hold my beer or pop cans in my cleavage while I was in the pool. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-warmed-butter-in-my-boobies/242870.md?page=2)