# I was addicted to escorts - ask me anything **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 27, 2018, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295 "2018-03-27T20:37:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/61 "2018-03-28T18:09:01Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > It does matter because these are terms that dehumanize these women and enables exploiting them. As others have asked, have you considered that some of your “providers” were doing this against their will? How can you live with that? I guess you’d have to define “against their will”. While sex trafficking does happen, the prevalence of it in this country is overstated. Its much more likely, incidentally, to be found in the Asian massage parlors than anywhere else. Now, does being addicted to a substance and being compelled into sex work in order to support that habit count as against their will? Idk, that’s a little more complicated. That addiction is often exploited by pimps and “boyfriends” so I guess the answer is “it depends”. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/62 "2018-03-28T18:13:10Z")
OP, you say you were addicted to hookers but are no longer so. What about your habit made it an addiction and what steps did you take to overcome this addiction? ---
**Author:** ![Davidngrk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@Davidngrk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davidngrk)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/63 "2018-03-28T18:27:47Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > OP, you say you were addicted to hookers but are no longer so. What about your habit made it an addiction and what steps did you take to overcome this addiction? The addiction was just the whole process from start to finish. Also, I was rarely with hot girls when I was young. I dated, slept with some good looking and maybe one hot girl but a lot of the girls I hooked up with weren’t not all that good looking. In the “hobby” the girls I saw were young, petite little body and hot. It was surprisingly easy to get the urge, research if it was someone new, contact and go have sex with a hot girl. I still get the urge every so often but haven’t acted. I am in new city is one reason. It is harder to find good providers at a decent rate. 2 - I did catch warts once and obviously want to avoid that. 3 - most importantly I am seeing a girl I really love. I don’t want to risk losing her. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/64 "2018-03-28T18:37:46Z")
> [@Davidngrk](#): > > The addiction was just the whole process from start to finish. Also, I was rarely with hot girls when I was young. I dated, slept with some good looking and maybe one hot girl but a lot of the girls I hooked up with weren’t not all that good looking. In the “hobby” the girls I saw were young, petite little body and hot. It was surprisingly easy to get the urge, research if it was someone new, contact and go have sex with a hot girl. > > I still get the urge every so often but haven’t acted. I am in new city is one reason. It is harder to find good providers at a decent rate. 2 - I did catch warts once and obviously want to avoid that. 3 - most importantly I am seeing a girl I really love. I don’t want to risk losing her. If the whole process isn’t causing you problems in one or more areas of your life that, once recognized, you are unable to curtail, you aren’t addicted. That’s what separates abusing a substance (in your case it’s sex/sex workers) from addiction to said substance. That being said, I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss addiction if you are continuing to engage with sex workers (hj or whatever) in secret. If you _ **really** _ love this girl you are seeing not only do you need to stop removing her consent from sex with you (stop the massage parlors), you need to step up and come clean. Let her make her own choices, right now you are not letting her do so. You are being selfish and cowardly. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/65 "2018-03-28T20:00:23Z")
> [@Davidngrk](#): > > The thrill of the chase was intoxicating. What thrill of the chase? They’re prostitutes and you had money. There was no challenge involved. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/66 "2018-03-28T20:26:57Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > What thrill of the chase? They’re prostitutes and you had money. There was no challenge involved. I was wondering this too. What chase when it’s a sure thing? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/67 "2018-03-28T20:43:51Z")
I thought the line was “you’re not paying them to have sex. You’re paying them to leave afterwards.” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/68 "2018-03-28T21:27:04Z")
Sex work in the West seems solely like a refuge for the damaged. Many have survived severe traumas and other forms of sexual exploitations which drive them into the work. How does one look past that damage, to buy into a thinly veiled facade of happy go lucky, clean and sober, uncoerced ho? ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/69 "2018-03-28T21:56:17Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I thought the line was “you’re not paying them to have sex. You’re paying them to leave afterwards.” > > Regards, > Shodan That’s only if you’re Charlie Sheen. I’m sure there are plenty of customers who want a girlfriend experience and would be thrilled if she wanted to hang out and play video games afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/70 "2018-03-28T23:24:30Z")
> [@Hermitian](#): > > How many STDs do you have now? I heard about this story on NPR this afternoon, and thought about this thread. > **[First case of super-resistant gonorrhea reported | CNN](https://www.cnn.com/2018/03/28/health/uk-man-multidrug-resistant-gonorrhea-intl/index.html)** > > England’s health agency is investigating the case of UK man infected with a type of gonorrhea that is “very resistant to the recommended first line treatment.” ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/71 "2018-03-29T00:32:53Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > It does matter because these are terms that dehumanize these women and enables exploiting them. As others have asked, have you considered that some of your “providers” were doing this against their will? How can you live with that? I used to eat at a chinese restaurant who was raided by immigration because some of the workers were being trafficked to work in food service. Are people supposed to stop eating at restaurants now too because a small number of waiters are being trafficked? There is human trafficking in agriculture too. People think human trafficking only involves sex, but that is a tiny part of it. Lots of human trafficking is involved in food products. Have you stopped eating yet? Why can’t adults engage in prostitution? Nobody wants sex trafficking, that is why various nations are pushing for legalization or decriminalization so women can ask for help if they feel they are being mistreated or abused. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/72 "2018-03-29T00:56:11Z")
Good lord! In all my years here on the Dope, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen so much ignorance in one thread. And the fact that so many of you seem intent on snarking rather than learning on a board whose mission charter to fight ignorance is mind boggling. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/73 "2018-03-29T01:15:37Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Sex work in the West seems solely like a refuge for the damaged. Many have survived severe traumas and other forms of sexual exploitations which drive them into the work. How does one look past that damage, to buy into a thinly veiled facade of happy go lucky, clean and sober, uncoerced ho? It’s not always a facade. I know of at least one provider that is a CPA. She owns her own (CPA) business. She owns a home which I haven’t seen but I’m sure is nice. She owns a posh condo which she uses for her clients for both her CPA and her provider business. Oh, and get this: That expensive condo is a tax write off. Lol. I fail to see how this woman is damaged. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/74 "2018-03-29T01:20:13Z")
> [@Davidngrk](#): > > It’s not something you can tell your friends about. Ugh. I wish my friends who frequent escorts shared your sentiment. ---
**Author:** ![Heracles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heracles/32/487_2.png) [@Heracles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heracles)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/75 "2018-03-29T01:20:49Z")
> [@Vinyl Turnip](#): > > Could you hear them too, or does that cost extra? > [@Davidngrk](#): > > Hear them? Not sure I understand. It refers to “I was regularly seeing escorts…” , methinks. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/76 "2018-03-29T01:21:07Z")
This is a good opportunity to remind everyone about a fascinating thread from a while back, “Ask the Icebear”. > **[Ask the Icebear (aka guy who visits brothels)](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=625497)** > > As promised in this thread. I know we already had an ‘Ask the guy who visits prostitutes’ thread before, but I think our experiences differ enough to warrant another one. For one thing, I’ve never broken the law by paying for sex. Eventhough I’m... ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/77 "2018-03-29T01:21:26Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > It’s not always a facade. I know of at least one provider that is a CPA. She owns her own (CPA) business. She owns a home which I haven’t seen but I’m sure is nice. She owns a posh condo which she uses for her clients for both her CPA and her provider business. > > Oh, and get this: That expensive condo is a tax write off. Lol. > > I fail to see how this woman is damaged. I bet she’s not doing 30 dollar blowjobs. ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/78 "2018-03-29T01:28:24Z")
It’s not my thing, but if it gave the OP satisfaction, who am I to judge? Sounds like his marriage was already dead and this was just getting on to the next phase in his life. Sounds like he knows that he’s with someone he values and that escorts are not worth it for a number of reason. The thread seems like a diary thread, not really an invitation to question or judge. OP, gotta know when to hold em, when to fold em. That is the only “advice” I have. Carry on with whatever you intend to do next. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/79 "2018-03-29T01:33:11Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Think about it, what would compel a pretty young girl to indiscriminately suck some random guy’s dick for $30 (or 40 or 50 or 60 or whatever) other than severe desperation? What would compel a pretty young girl to clean out shitty bathrooms in a fast food restaurant for $30 or $40 or whatever other than severe desperation? ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295/80 "2018-03-29T02:51:00Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Ugh. I wish my friends who frequent escorts shared your sentiment. Underrated comment right here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-addicted-to-escorts-ask-me-anything/811295.md?page=5)