# I was assaulted yesterday **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 18, 2012, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928 "2012-01-18T20:19:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/21 "2012-01-18T22:46:52Z")
I’m very glad that you’re okay. You mentioned that you’ve had physical confrontations a couple of times since you’ve been in a chair. Is this a common problem for people in chairs? Are there jerks who like to pick on people they think are easy targets? ---
**Author:** ![Mewl\_Dear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mewl\_Dear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mewl_Dear)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/22 "2012-01-18T22:59:42Z")
I am sure this happened just as you said. Since you seem to be a serial victim. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/23 "2012-01-18T23:24:16Z")
Could it be that since he is obese and has a bad knee that he had as much need to use the cut-curb as you did? Seriously, I’m not trying to flame you, and what he did was way out of line and out of proportion, but is it possible that you were initially in the wrong to assume he didn’t also need to use the cut-curb? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/24 "2012-01-18T23:34:42Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > \Then he goes to leave! I say, “whoa, whoa, whoa!” “Hold on one second, all I did was say to your wife that parking in front of the cut curb wasn’t a good idea.” “You can’t come in here and say all these terrible things and not even let me respond.”\ I think this is your only error in judgement here - when a lunatic starts to leave, **let them.** 🙂 Glad you’re okay. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/25 "2012-01-18T23:36:09Z")
Well, sounds like you handled it quite well. I’m amazed the gym hasn’t at least banned him, though. Even if what you said was slightly more inflammatory than what you remember it being, that wouldn’t justify assault. > [@voltaire](#): > > Could it be that since he is obese and has a bad knee that he had as much need to use the cut-curb as you did? > > Seriously, I’m not trying to flame you, and what he did was way out of line and out of proportion, but is it possible that you were initially in the wrong to assume he didn’t also need to use the cut-curb? Uh… if he did need to use the cut-curb, then parking across it would have prevented him from doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/26 "2012-01-18T23:53:21Z")
My first reaction is that you should have pressed charges, but in reality I’d probably let it go as well. Glad you’re OK. > [@](#): > > “Call the police! And please don’t let the fat man leave.” Ahh, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that. 🙂 mmm ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/27 "2012-01-19T00:02:53Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > Oh, shut up. > [@Cosmic Relief](#): > > I have a right to my opinion, so take your “oh, shut up”, sit on it, and rotate. We’re in MPSIMS, not the Pit. Please maintain civility toward one another. > [@Mewl\_Dear](#): > > I am sure this happened just as you said. > Since you seem to be a serial victim. If you have a problem with the OP, take it to the Pit, don’t make snide remarks in this thread. No warnings issued. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/28 "2012-01-19T00:13:55Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > You mentioned that you’ve had physical confrontations a couple of times since you’ve been in a chair. Is this a common problem for people in chairs? Are there jerks who like to pick on people they think are easy targets? Mmm, **Ambivalid** is far from an easy target – he’s a competitive bodybuilder --and, as self-reported in these pages, has been the instigator/aggressor of confrontations himself when he perceived others to be unjustly blocking handicapped access. I warrant he could kick more ass without the use of his legs than most people could with them. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/29 "2012-01-19T00:25:10Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > It’s a victim’s right to decide whether or not to press charges; that’s why he gets the damn choice in the first place. No, the district attorney (prosecutor) has the right to decide whether to press charges. That’s why criminal cases are called “_People of the State of Idaho vs. Smith_,” instead of “_Ambivalid vs. Smith_.” As a practical matter, however, charges will usually not be pursued if the victim doesn’t want to cooperate. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/30 "2012-01-19T00:35:05Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > Or he may not. What’s that got to do with it? Sometimes people go through an amazing string of violent behavior just because no one will call them on it. One day, they do something really bad even for them and people wonder why nobody ever did anything. I helped put two men in prison for (attempted) armed robbery. I was only one of several victims in a one hour period and I wasn’t hurt at all. They didn’t even get anything from me because I fought back. All of the other people involved dropped out of the case until I was the only one the DA had left so they used my case for all it was worth. They were habitual, violent criminals and still people were too scared to pursue it. The same thing happens in all kinds of violent crimes and pushing over someone in a wheelchair certainly counts as one of those. If this ever happens to you, the responsible thing is to help the police and the DA do their job and let the courts take care of the rest. It isn’t a personal grievance that you should just forgive on your own. It is a crime against the state as well and you put other people at risk for not doing your part. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/31 "2012-01-19T00:36:54Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > Uh… if he did need to use the cut-curb, then parking across it would have prevented him from doing so. How so? ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/32 "2012-01-19T00:49:17Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Ahh, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that. 🙂 > mmm For the win! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/33 "2012-01-19T00:50:33Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Mmm, **Ambivalid** is far from an easy target – he’s a competitive bodybuilder --and, as self-reported in these pages, has been the instigator/aggressor of confrontations himself when he perceived others to be unjustly blocking handicapped access. I warrant he could kick more ass without the use of his legs than most people could with them. I don’t doubt it. That why I said “pick on people _ **they think** _ are easy targets” ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/34 "2012-01-19T01:29:14Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > So, at the beginning of the story the villain is a “huge man” and then by the end of the story the villain is a pathetic fat guy with weak knees. Huh. How is that remarkable? At the beginning of the story he is shouting, and shoving Ambivalid over. By the end he is blubbering and coming up with every apology he can to avoid being arrested. So, yes, at the start of the story he might appear huge, but by the end he’s going to appear weak and pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/35 "2012-01-19T01:45:30Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > I’m very glad that you’re okay. > > You mentioned that you’ve had physical confrontations a couple of times since you’ve been in a chair. Is this a common problem for people in chairs? Are there jerks who like to pick on people they think are easy targets? No, no, no. 😃 The couple of times before (two, to be exact) were both during the first couple of years after my accident (it’s been nearly 12 now) and both involved copious amounts of alcohol-for all parties involved. In the previous incidences, I had much more of a personal responsibility for the instigation of the confrontations. This was absolutely nothing like those times. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/36 "2012-01-19T01:57:28Z")
@Voltaire: let me answer your question in two ways. First the easiest and most simple; when I saw this man the next day at the gym, he tells me how he had a talk with his wife and he understands exactly why I said what I said (telling his wife that it’s not a good idea to park across the cut curb). He then tells me that when his wife dropped him off that day, she dropped him off _at the curb_, leaving the cut-curb free and unblocked. He told me that from now on that is what he will do. So if he needed the cut curb like I did, he wouldn’t be able to enter without it. Yet he was able to alter his entering habits enough to forgo the cut curb and suffer none at all. So that is not an issue. And to look at the issue physically, you can understand why this is so. Originally, his wife was waiting across the cut-curb for her husband to get done working out and pick him up. And he originally claimed that because of his disability (his bad knee), he needed to have his wife park across the cut curb for him to enter the car. Yet this is complete bullshit. When a car pulls up the regular curb and opens the passenger door, there is virtually an even floor directly into the car itself; as the sidewalk is on-level with the doorstep to the car. No big step up or down is required from this point to enter the car, just a lateral movement. And this man proved this fact when he showed that he could get in and out of his wife’s totally fine by pulling right up to the curb itself rather than the cut-curb. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/37 "2012-01-19T01:57:47Z")
Hmm, **Ambivalid** , a gym, a confrontation over where a car is parked, aggression, cops. Why does this sound familiar? Would the outcome have been different if you’d have been a bit more patient? ETA: that’s not to say that the guy wasn’t a gigantic douche, but how different might it have been if you’d have smiled and said: “Hi ma’am, I’m sorry but your car is blocking my access. Would you mind moving it?”, or not shouted after the woman when she’d moved the car. Sometimes shit happens and if the guy has shitty knees maybe he needed that access. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/38 "2012-01-19T02:02:10Z")
> [@Mewl\_Dear](#): > > I am sure this happened just as you said. > Since you seem to be a serial victim. Jesus H. Christ. I specifically _declined_ to be regarded as a victim here. I can’t even _talk_ about it without being called a liar with a persecution complex?! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/39 "2012-01-19T02:07:22Z")
> [@mister\_nyx](#): > > Are you saying Dopers are liable to assault people in wheelchairs for no reason? :eek: Only when we run out of orphans. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/40 "2012-01-19T02:07:59Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Hmm, **Ambivalid** , a gym, a confrontation over where a car is parked, aggression, cops. Why does this sound familiar? > > Would the outcome have been different if you’d have been a bit more patient? > > ETA: that’s not to say that the guy wasn’t a gigantic douche, but how different might it have been if you’d have smiled and said: “Hi ma’am, I’m sorry but your car is blocking my access. Would you mind moving it?”, or not shouted after the woman when she’d moved the car. Sometimes shit happens and \*\* if the guy has shitty knees maybe he needed that access\*\*. (bolding mine) Already addressed this point. And as far as being more patient; it was dark, cold and raining outside and I was waiting for an illegally parked car blocking the cut curb. Why do I need to be patient here? And all I said (I didn’t shout anything, she was right in front of me,she hadn’t drove off yet) was “Ma,am, you know this isn’t the best place to park”. How is this that much different from what you are suggesting? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928.md?page=3)