# I was assaulted yesterday **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 18, 2012, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928 "2012-01-18T20:19:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/81 "2012-01-20T01:01:51Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > I don’t think that’s terribly important, tbh. You shouldn’t have to sit in the middle of the road waiting for someone to decide to move - it’s not safe, whatever the weather. There’s two possiblities on this - either the road is really badly designed that someone in a wheelchair needs to “sit in the middle of the road” if there is a car in the first handicapped spot, OR Ambivalid was not sitting in “the middle of the road”. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/82 "2012-01-20T01:14:42Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > The familiar pattern is starting again… > > So now the conversation included a “fuck you motherfucker” from our nice polite protagonist…I wonder what other details will come to light as this progresses… You misread that. > [@bengangmo](#): > > There’s two possiblities on this - either the road is really badly designed that someone in a wheelchair needs to “sit in the middle of the road” if there is a car in the first handicapped spot, OR Ambivalid was not sitting in “the middle of the road”. Huh? It wasn’t a handicapped spot, it was a cut-curb. I honestly don’t understand what you’re saying. Ambivalid wasn’t sitting in the middle of the road - the suggestion by someone else was that he should wait a few minutes, and that would require sitting in the middle of the road. If there’s another cut-curb really nearby, he could use that, but that’s not often the case, and would require extra travel along the road, which is kinda difficult for a lot of people who use cut-curbs and not terribly safe. There are elements of this on which it makes sense to disagree with Ambivalid, but wanting to use that cut-curb is not one of them. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/83 "2012-01-20T01:28:11Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > You misread that. > > Huh? It wasn’t a handicapped spot, it was a cut-curb. I honestly don’t understand what you’re saying. Ambivalid wasn’t sitting in the middle of the road - the suggestion by someone else was that he should wait a few minutes, and that would require sitting in the middle of the road. > > If there’s another cut-curb really nearby, he could use that, but that’s not often the case, and would require extra travel along the road, which is kinda difficult for a lot of people who use cut-curbs and not terribly safe. > > There are elements of this on which it makes sense to disagree with Ambivalid, but wanting to use that cut-curb is not one of them. I’m kinda assuming a setup something like the below.. -----------kerb-------------------------------------- - Spot 1 \* Ambivalid spot \* - ``` * ``` cut kerb \* - ``` * ``` - ``` * ``` * * * ROAD If it’s not like that - I stand corrected and offer my apologies… ---
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/84 "2012-01-20T02:41:26Z")
You’d have to be absurdly out of touch with reality to believe the victim of an assault has some moral duty to press charges. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/85 "2012-01-20T02:45:08Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > I’m kinda assuming a setup something like the below.. > -----------kerb-------------------------------------- > > - Spot 1 \* Ambivalid spot \* > - > > ``` > * > > ``` > > cut kerb \* > > - > > ``` > * > > ``` > > - > > ``` > * > > ``` > > * * * > > ROAD > If it’s not like that - I stand corrected and offer my apologies… I think you mean ```auto -----------kerb-------------------------------------- * Spot 1 * Ambivalid spot * * * cut kerb * * * * * ------------------------------------------------------ ROAD ``` or thereabouts. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/86 "2012-01-20T02:50:26Z")
> [@Hbns](#): > > Now it is raining in the story? When did that start? That seems like a pretty important detail not to mention off the top. Ok, you are seeing flaws in my storytelling abilities here, not my honesty or my consistency. If you want to check the weather report for Mon, Jan 16 for Genesee County, MI, you can confirm my account. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/87 "2012-01-20T02:59:52Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Technically I think the decision to file a complaint is up to you. Since the police didn’t see the incident, they would probably not pursue the matter. > > Quote: > Originally Posted by Ambivalid > And as far as being more patient; it was dark, cold and raining outside and I was waiting for an illegally parked car blocking the cut curb. Why do I need to be patient here? > Um…so you don’t get knocked out of your wheelchair by an angry giant? I meant for people who don’t possess psychic powers. ---
**Author:** ![quietob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/a88e4f/32.png) [@quietob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quietob)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/88 "2012-01-20T03:16:26Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > I’m very glad that you’re okay. > > You mentioned that you’ve had physical confrontations a couple of times since you’ve been in a chair. Is this a common problem for people in chairs? Are there jerks who like to pick on people they think are easy targets? Yep, it’s a fact. Disabled people are victims of crime more than the rest of the population but it’s not because they are playing the role of the victim; it happens for reasons which should be obvious. **Ambivalid** has taken a bit of a “verbal” beating here so I guess I can expect the same. I don’t care. I’ll tell my story anyway, not to take the thread from **Ambivalid** , but to give an example for **davidm** and anyone else who’s interested. I have no history in the SDMB but I promise to leave no details out! Before being permanently confined to a wheelchair, I used a walker. I was standing at the checkout, putting my groceries in the basket on my walker. The woman behind me had a cart piled up with groceries so it was taking a long time to ring them in. There was a young boy, about age six, sitting in the seat of the cart. She started repeatedly bumping the back of my legs with her shopping cart, hard enough that it made my knees buckle and I almost fell down. Because some of my groceries were still at the end of the cash lane, I couldn’t move too far ahead but I moved forward a bit. She moved her cart ahead too, and continued to bump me with it. I thought she just didn’t realize what she was doing, so I politely said, “Could you please stop hitting me with your shopping cart.” She said, “Well, you’re in the way.” It was such a shock to realize this woman had been hitting me with a shopping cart _on purpose_, I started to shake and became light-headed. I took a deep breath to calm myself and said, “That was rude!” As I started to walk away, she said, “That’s better!” I said, (and I really meant it, it wasn’t just to lash out) “I feel sorry for your son to have a mother like you who would treat a disabled person so despicably.” She said, “Your disability is not with your legs, it’s with your mouth.” WOW In hindsight, if I hadn’t been so shaken and caught off guard, I could have asked store security to hold her until the cops came and her son would have been taken out of her arms and she would have been put in the back of a police car. It wasn’t anywhere near what happened to **Ambivalid** , but she deliberately hit me with a shopping cart-- that’s assault. But she got away with it. For a long time after that, I was paranoid about checkout lines, looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn’t “in anybody’s way”. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/89 "2012-01-20T03:29:01Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > I’m kinda assuming a setup something like the below.. > -----------kerb-------------------------------------- > > - Spot 1 \* Ambivalid spot \* > - > > ``` > * > > ``` > > cut kerb \* > > - > > ``` > * > > ``` > > - > > ``` > * > > ``` > > * * * > > ROAD > If it’s not like that - I stand corrected and offer my apologies… So the cut-kerb (and I’d usually spell it kerb too - I thought maybe curb was the US spelling) isn’t connected to the kerb? 😕 How does that work? Or are you envisioning the vehicle being parked on the opposite side of the road to the cut-kerb and not actually blocking it? ---
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/90 "2012-01-20T03:30:08Z")
> [@Mewl\_Dear](#): > > I am sure this happened just as you said. > Since you seem to be a serial victim. You’re right to be skeptical. Disabled people are never victims of crimes. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/91 "2012-01-20T03:34:25Z")
[QUOTE=quietob;14687163 **Ambivalid** has taken a bit of a “verbal” beating here so I guess I can expect the same. I don’t care. [/QUOTE] Hey now, _newbie_ :dubious: Don’t expect platinum right out the gate. Gotta earn them wings! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/92 "2012-01-20T03:37:39Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > I think you mean > > ```auto > > -----------kerb-------------------------------------- > * Spot 1 * Ambivalid spot * > * * > cut kerb * > * * > * * > ------------------------------------------------------ > > ROAD > > ``` > > or thereabouts. Thanks 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/93 "2012-01-20T03:40:34Z")
> [@quietob](#): > > Yep, it’s a fact. Disabled people are victims of crime more than the rest of the population but it’s not because they are playing the role of the victim; it happens for reasons which should be obvious. > > **Ambivalid** has taken a bit of a “verbal” beating here so I guess I can expect the same. I don’t care. I’ll tell my story anyway, not to take the thread from **Ambivalid** , but to give an example for **davidm** and anyone else who’s interested. I have no history in the SDMB but I promise to leave no details out! > > Before being permanently confined to a wheelchair, I used a walker. I was standing at the checkout, putting my groceries in the basket on my walker. The woman behind me had a cart piled up with groceries so it was taking a long time to ring them in. There was a young boy, about age six, sitting in the seat of the cart. > > She started repeatedly bumping the back of my legs with her shopping cart, hard enough that it made my knees buckle and I almost fell down. Because some of my groceries were still at the end of the cash lane, I couldn’t move too far ahead but I moved forward a bit. She moved her cart ahead too, and continued to bump me with it. I thought she just didn’t realize what she was doing, so I politely said, “Could you please stop hitting me with your shopping cart.” > > She said, “Well, you’re in the way.” > > It was such a shock to realize this woman had been hitting me with a shopping cart _on purpose_, I started to shake and became light-headed. I took a deep breath to calm myself and said, “That was rude!” As I started to walk away, she said, “That’s better!” > > I said, (and I really meant it, it wasn’t just to lash out) “I feel sorry for your son to have a mother like you who would treat a disabled person so despicably.” > > She said, “Your disability is not with your legs, it’s with your mouth.” > > WOW > > In hindsight, if I hadn’t been so shaken and caught off guard, I could have asked store security to hold her until the cops came and her son would have been taken out of her arms and she would have been put in the back of a police car. It wasn’t anywhere near what happened to **Ambivalid** , but she deliberately hit me with a shopping cart-- that’s assault. But she got away with it. > > For a long time after that, I was paranoid about checkout lines, looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn’t “in anybody’s way”. Yeah - and that happened because you are disabled. Other people _never_ encounter arseholes in their day to day lives. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/94 "2012-01-20T03:49:39Z")
I’m actually imaging something more like this…[http://www.google.com.sg/imgres?q=disabled+parking&hl=en&gbv=2&biw=1229&bih=653&tbm=isch&tbnid=-0mxEIQnZhqpZM:&imgrefurl=](http://www.google.com.sg/imgres?q=disabled+parking&hl=en&gbv=2&biw=1229&bih=653&tbm=isch&tbnid=-0mxEIQnZhqpZM:&imgrefurl=)[http://www.tripadvisor.com/LocationPhotos-g644360-d850460-Village\_Hotel\_Manchester\_Ashton-Ashton\_under\_Lyne\_Greater\_Manchester\_England.html&docid=zUaWZYSBdF6q\_M&imgurl=http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/02/26/df/55/some-of-the-disabled.jpg&w=550&h=412&ei=kuMYT634Dsm8rAfyk6zmDQ&zoom=1](http://www.tripadvisor.com/LocationPhotos-g644360-d850460-Village_Hotel_Manchester_Ashton-Ashton_under_Lyne_Greater_Manchester_England.html&docid=zUaWZYSBdF6q_M&imgurl=http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/02/26/df/55/some-of-the-disabled.jpg&w=550&h=412&ei=kuMYT634Dsm8rAfyk6zmDQ&zoom=1) Where Ambivalid is driving the Rangie and Arsehole bully is in the grey car. The cut-kerb is either infront of, or to the left of the grey car (I was imagining to the left) ---
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/95 "2012-01-20T03:51:47Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > As to the cut curb issue, when people are uncomfortable and put on the defensive, they say any old shit. Truly she probably just didn’t think when she was parking. Now there’s some guy calling them out for it and they’re going to try to defend their actions with nonsense. See, to me, hitting a guy in a wheelchair seems like it deserves a worse appellation than “nonsense”. I would agree that this paragraph were relevant had the story been “this guy and his wife said some shit to me when I told them to move their car, what jerks” but if you actually read to the end, the story is about some dude hitting a guy in a wheelchair, so. This seems like an inadequate defense for indefensible behavior. ---
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/96 "2012-01-20T03:53:15Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > Yeah - and that happened because you are disabled. Other people _never_ encounter arseholes in their day to day lives. Of course we do. But they don’t hit us if we don’t look like we can’t fight back. ---
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/97 "2012-01-20T03:59:36Z")
> [@FuriousGeorge](#): > > Yeah, this is what I was thinking. Given the posting history of the OP in similar situations, his character of “What pray, Brother? Doth thou agrievest me? For thine horseless carriage doth impede my passage to the 24 Hour Fitness. Pray that I might pass with fair praise of thine burliness.” followed by the big, fat villian going completely monkey shit on the peaceful protagonist doesn’t pass the sniff test. So short of calling the OP a liar, methinks there might be a few details either “coloured” or left out. > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Gentlemen, please. It’s already been explained that this thread is only for responses of the “you’re my hero!” type. You’ll have to go into another room if you want to discuss what’s going on in this room. Pray then explain to me, dear Brothers, precisely which color must the details be to explain away a good fat Brother hitting some Brother in a wheeled chair? How could our good wheelie Brother have befouled his story, such that the original and pure version of the story did not show him to be the victim of our good fat Brother’s deplorable violence? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/98 "2012-01-20T04:08:16Z")
> [@mister\_nyx](#): > > See, to me, hitting a guy in a wheelchair seems like it deserves a worse appellation than “nonsense”. > > I would agree that this paragraph were relevant had the story been “this guy and his wife said some shit to me when I told them to move their car, what jerks” but if you actually read to the end, the story is about some dude hitting a guy in a wheelchair, so. This seems like an inadequate defense for indefensible behavior. I was talking specifically about the woman’s verbal ‘defense’ over “the cut curb issue” for where she parked. You are right, though, to read between the lines of what I wrote. As you so cleverly unmasked, I am in fact secretly gloating over a huge able-bodied person attacking someone in a wheelchair. This is why I called the guy “a gigantic douche”, said " I’m not defending someone for physically attacking you, and I am definitely not blaming you for what happened" and shared my own story of being assauted. I am of course in no way suggesting that **Ambivalid** examines his behaviour and sees if by taking a slightly less confrontational approach to the issues he feels strongly about he could avoid potentially dangerous confrontations. Cleverly you have uncovered the fact I think the people who assaulted **Ambivalid** were justified. Well done! Mwa ha haa. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/99 "2012-01-20T04:12:06Z")
> [@mister\_nyx](#): > > Pray then explain to me, dear Brothers, precisely which color must the details be to explain away a good fat Brother hitting some Brother in a wheeled chair? How could our good wheelie Brother have befouled his story, such that the original and pure version of the story did not show him to be the victim of our good fat Brother’s deplorable violence? 1. No matter what he did, Ambivalid is the victim of an arsehole. No matter the cause, there is nothing to “explain away” this sort of assault. 2. What is taken (at least for me) as the issue is how much “proddding” Ambivalid did towards said arsehole. It’s pretty much a known fact that there are some dickheads out there, some with anger control issues and some that are plain crazy. You’ve never heard it said that discretion is the better part of valour? that there are bold pilots and old pilots, but no old, bold pilots? In other words - if you behave “provocotively”, the time will come when you cuss out or antagonise the wrong person. What we must each decide, as individuals, is how far we want to go, and how much of an arsehole we want to be. Now, I am putting my own spin and experience into what happened in this case, if I had pulled up to the curb to pick someone up, and then got “scolded” by Ambivalid, yeah, I’d be annoyed (not pissed, but miffed) - it seems at many times that he takes an “officious prick” attitude towards parking (which has been exhibited many times here before) which is inevitably going to antagonise people. If you are antagonising people, eventually you will do it to the one who has less control. It’s the law of averages. ---
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928/100 "2012-01-20T04:30:40Z")
> [@justrob](#): > > Bits like the part I bolded are what people are talking about when they say you leave out pertinent information. I apologize for all the wanky messages I just left as I read the thread. I agree that this point totally affects one’s interpretation of these events. [QUOTE=bengangmo] 2. What is taken (at least for me) as the issue is how much “proddding” Ambivalid did towards said arsehole. [/QUOTE] How much “prodding” does it take to change your interpretation of the situation? To be honest, as a non-disabled person, I can’t imagine being “prodded” by insults until I felt it was okay to assault a guy in a wheelchair. Crime statistics that I’ve seen, however, demonstrate that there must be a fair portion of able-bodied people that can be “prodded” into hitting disabled people, since they are, in fact, more likely to be assaulted than able-bodied people. [QUOTE=bengangmo] In other words - if you behave “provocotively”, the time will come when you cuss out or antagonise the wrong person. [/QUOTE] And if you use a wheelchair, pretty clearly you had better choose discretion all the time, because there are apparently a fair number of people out there who will take advantage of the fact that you’re in a chair. Which is definitely a legit reason to criticize disabled people who run their mouths off at able-bodied people. You’re right. I was wrong to disagree. [QUOTE=bengangmo] at many times that he takes an “officious prick” attitude towards parking (which has been exhibited many times here before) [/quote] Oh, a disabled guy who gets shirty about accessible parking. You’re right, I see now how very, very wrong he was. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-assaulted-yesterday/609928.md?page=6)