# I was just kicked out of a Meetup group. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 3, 2011, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184 "2011-01-03T01:13:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/181 "2011-01-04T18:35:36Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Thank God for women with self-image issues! šŸ˜ƒ Actually, this is completely true, so my statement should be amended to: ā€œassume anyone _who knows theyā€™re more attractive than you_ will never date you.ā€ You still have a shot with attractive women with self-esteem issues, blindness or who are in a coma. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Zany\_Zeolite\_Zipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4af34b/32.png) [@Zany\_Zeolite\_Zipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zany_Zeolite_Zipper)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/182 "2011-01-04T18:39:00Z")
And now to end four pages of snarking. **Deanc2000** this Meetup thing is just the internet; when you get b& you donā€™t hang your head and slink off to the hedges, you re-up with a new name! Itā€™s not as if they are going to check your driverā€™s licence before you go for a walk in the woods. Do you think Romeo went off and married a cheese maid the first time someone told him to piss off? No! And neither should you. Love is special, there is one person out of 3.5 billion out there for you, and it could be this female. Now you know youā€™ll need to play it cool if you want to make with the girl. And just think, you already have something in common with her. Once you get her alone in the woods just say: ā€œ[Female], I am so relieved to find that everyone in this group is normal, you never know what sort of perverts you are getting involved with when you meet someone from the internetā€. She will nod her head in ascent, and this is your opportunity to give her a kind and thoughtful gift. Perhaps a can of mace: for the scaring away of perverts. And she will swoon because she now sees you as her protector. You will be her white knight protecting her from the person wrongly accused of internet perversion: yourself! Whenever her interest seems to wain, all you have to do is arrange for another email from yourself. Donā€™t think of this as living a life of lies. A few years from now, when the children are just starting school, you can tell her the exact depth of your love. All of your friends will be so jealous, you will have the best ā€œmeet-cuteā€ story of anyone! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/183 "2011-01-04T18:40:43Z")
No, I donā€™t believe heā€™s joking. Look at some of his other posts. Draw your own conclusions. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/184 "2011-01-04T18:52:30Z")
ā€¦ cheese maid? ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/185 "2011-01-04T18:57:20Z")
Consider too, that this is a _hiking_ group, meaning yā€™all would be outdoors. And what happens to women outdoors (hikers, walkers, runners)? Not saying this would have been your intent, but both the lady in question and the organizer were right to be concerned about your request. Much better to have met her spontaneously on the hike and see if there were any chemistry between you. You took a lot for granted there, and as you said, you learned from this, so let it go and ā€œsin no moreā€. šŸ˜‰ Q ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/186 "2011-01-04T18:57:35Z")
**RNATB** : You know, the bitch who gets you your stinky cheese, bro! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/187 "2011-01-04T19:01:44Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Consider too, that this is a _hiking_ group, meaning yā€™all would be outdoors. > > And what happens to women outdoors (hikers, walkers, runners)? > > Not saying this would have been your intent, but both the lady in question and the organizer were right to be concerned about your request. Umā€¦I think Iā€™m missing somethingā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/188 "2011-01-04T19:02:10Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > And what happens to women outdoors (hikers, walkers, runners)? Improved cardiovascular function? ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/189 "2011-01-04T19:03:38Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Umā€¦I think Iā€™m missing somethingā€¦ Sure are. Both of you. Come onā€¦ you can do this!!! THINK! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/190 "2011-01-04T19:05:18Z")
Oh, I get it. Eaten by bears. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/191 "2011-01-04T19:05:35Z")
My first guess is sweatiness leading to visible nipples. My second guess is rape and mugging. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/192 "2011-01-04T19:10:28Z")
Canā€™t have one without the other. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/193 "2011-01-04T19:10:37Z")
> [@Laudenum](#): > > Iā€™d say write an apology going something along the lines of: > > Iā€™m really sorry. > I genuinely didnā€™t think what I did was creepy. > I asked my (real life) friends for advice, and they bluntly informed me that it WAS creepy and then proceeded to explain in detail how it was creepy. > I have seen the light. > I apologise for any trouble Iā€™ve caused you, or the lady in question. > > Dean > > Or something similar. > > Donā€™t burn bridges needlessly - at worst, a hostile stranger becomes slightly less hostile. Concurrence occurs. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/194 "2011-01-04T19:12:10Z")
Nm. Iā€™ve hit my rape joke quota for the [del]day[/del] year. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/195 "2011-01-04T19:12:38Z")
Thereā€™s no need for either one of you to be assholes. I meant that in some instances, yes, women are attacked. Maybe not in this one, but it does happen and the lady was right to be concerned. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/196 "2011-01-04T19:14:41Z")
I didnā€™t think I was coming off assholish, but my apologies. I do think the OP was creepy but is getting raped really that big of a concern when youā€™re in a hiking group? Also, is it really that big of a concern for most women? Generally stranger rape is quite rare compared with rape by acquaintances. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/197 "2011-01-04T19:16:18Z")
> [@Leon497](#): > > You did nothing wrong wanting to find out this information, but never never go to one of these authority types to get it. Would you have say in college gone to a teacher or principal to ask contact info? Of course not, all they would do is give you stupid trouble just like you got. They are on an ego trip and you fed it, he will think he stopped a serial killer. > > What to do was go on a hike and if she is not already there ask other REGULAR PEOPLE there who she is. Just as you would ask classmates in a school who someone is, see now? Donā€™t believe that the girl knows about your efforts either, authority types love to lie and act like others are backing them up. It is no different than a TSA agent taking someones water bottle and later saying he intercepted and stopped terror violations today to his family. > > What to do now is join a nearby hiking group and ask if any had been members of that other one when out on a hike, and show a picture and see if any knew her, they could have seen her at similar events too you know even if none were members of that group. I imagine many belong to several groups and pick the best hikes that way. . Donā€™t involve any asshole authority people, that is the lesson to learn here. They will never help you do anything. Leon, if the above is really what youā€™d do in such a situation, then I want you to know that thereā€™s a reason people are giving you strange, concerned looks all the time. And if you didnā€™t know they were doing that, I want to take this chance to inform you: People are giving you strange, concerned looks all the time. You are creeping people out. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/198 "2011-01-04T19:19:05Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/199 "2011-01-04T19:22:58Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Thereā€™s no need for either one of you to be assholes. I meant that in some instances, yes, women are attacked. Maybe not in this one, but it does happen and the lady was right to be concerned. Yes, but those instances are comparatively _rarer_ outdoors - [only 3.6% of rapes occur outside buildings or vehicles](http://www.hawaii.edu/hivandaids/Similarities_And_Differences_In_Women_s_Sexual_Assault_Experiences_Based_On_Tactics.pdf). Conversely, 82% of bear attacks and 97% of dog-shit-on-shoe incidents occur outdoors. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184/200 "2011-01-04T19:25:47Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Conversely, 82% of bear attacks and 97% of dog-shit-on-shoe incidents occur outdoors. Where do the _indoor_ bear attacks occur? Need answer fast. I hafta pee and the bathroom has dark corners. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-just-kicked-out-of-a-meetup-group/566184.md?page=11)