# I was married for \_\_\_\_\_ years, and my ex could never understand that \_\_\_\_\_. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 18, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190 "2011-03-18T19:54:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/41 "2011-03-21T10:15:03Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I still don’t understand that when he says “I’ll be up to bed soon” he means in a geologic sense, not necessarily before I get up in the morning. Heh - it’s taken a while but my beloved now appreciates that “I’m almost done on the laptop, I’ll be up in a minute” means I’ll wander up possibly sometime before 4am. ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/42 "2011-03-21T13:39:29Z")
I was married for almost 5 years, together for more then 6. She could never understand when I said I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t mad. Now that we’re separated she doesn’t say it any more, wish she would have done it then too. I have never understood why people don’t believe one another when they tell you how they feel or what they’re thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/43 "2011-03-21T14:31:16Z")
I was married for 11 years, she could never understand that , during the whole time we were together and til this day, when I say, “I’m sorry, I have no money.” I really mean that there’s under $10 in the account, there is no other account, and I’m not stashing it for a rainy day. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/44 "2011-03-21T15:05:00Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > (maybe because it’s next to the ketchup, which he also never sees. opens the refrigerator, peering into the depths, looking for ketchup. Which is sitting there in clear sight, right on the shelf. It’s red stuff. In a plastic bottle. shakes head, closes door. can’t find the ketchup.) It’s because you’re using the wrong technology, silly. It supposed to be like Star Trek. You walk up to the fridge and say “ketchup”. When you open the door, the ketchup, and _only ketchup_ is in the fridge under a bright spotlight with angelic voices singing “Aaaaaaaaaaah”. (The voices stop when you close the door. The fridge light goes out too!) You don’t actually expect him to be able recognize a single item when there are more than one, do you? ---
**Author:** ![surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/surrounded_by_literalists)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/45 "2011-03-21T16:17:51Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > I’ve been married for 9 months, and my wife STILL doesn’t understand that Kirk or Picard is one of the great questions of our time!😃 Its not really a question. Picard ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/46 "2011-03-21T21:46:14Z")
> [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](#): > > Its not really a question. Picard Well, that’s a given, but she’s not even willing to accept the importance of it all!:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/47 "2011-03-22T02:05:19Z")
> [@Curious3d](#): > > Just tell him things start an hour before they actually do. Better yet - leave without him. “I’m leaving now. See you whenever you get there.” ---
**Author:** ![ripopgome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@ripopgome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ripopgome)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/48 "2011-03-22T23:38:20Z")
More than a few times, SDMB has been the cause of my “I’m almost done on the computer” at 11pm, meaning slinking into bed at 4am 🙂 Well, OK, SDMB **and** high-quality pr0n. But I mean, you gotta do something while waiting for it to download, right? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/49 "2011-03-22T23:56:43Z")
> [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](#): > > Its not really a question. Picard No way. Shatner for the win. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/50 "2011-03-23T05:36:21Z")
I was married for nearly 5 years, and my ex-husband never understood that a monogamous relationship meant “you don’t have sex with other people.” On the other hand, I was married for nearly five years, and I never understood that “nothing” is a valid answer to “What are you thinking about?” ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/51 "2011-03-23T06:11:55Z")
I was married for five years (with him for a total of 8), and my ex could never understand that adults actually work, you know, for a living. To pay bills. And pay for all that alcohol that he seemed to be able to drink all day every day while I worked two full-time jobs, taught part time in grad school, and attended said grad school. But we never had enough money to, oh, I don’t know, go to the ballet or out to dinner or maybe hire a maid to clean the house that he never could get around to cleaning because he was too busy (drinking) at home while I was out working two full-time jobs, teaching part time in grad school, and attending said grad school. No, I’m not bitter, why do you ask? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/52 "2011-03-23T07:37:22Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > No way. Shatner for the win. You do know that Galaxy Quest was not a documentary, right? Shatner never captained anything. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/53 "2011-03-23T15:03:17Z")
I’ve been on the board for ten years, and Dopers never understand that hi-jacking isn’t nice and that Star Trek can have it’s own threads. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/54 "2011-03-23T15:42:58Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > I was married for five years (with him for a total of 8), and my ex could never understand that adults actually work, you know, for a living. To pay bills. And pay for all that alcohol that he seemed to be able to drink all day every day while I worked two full-time jobs, taught part time in grad school, and attended said grad school. But we never had enough money to, oh, I don’t know, go to the ballet or out to dinner or maybe hire a maid to clean the house that he never could get around to cleaning because he was too busy (drinking) at home while I was out working two full-time jobs, teaching part time in grad school, and attending said grad school. > > No, I’m not bitter, why do you ask? Other than the grad school part your marriage was my marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/55 "2011-03-23T19:05:02Z")
Mmmm, threads like this solidify my resolve to be a spinster. I can’t understand why some of the people upthread (and people like my mom) put up with this drinking, non-working bullshit. If I was married to a lazyass like that, the relationship would be over PDQ. But I can’t stand people who don’t pull their own weight… so that’s that. For my part, I was with my ex for 7 months and he never understood that doing all the driving in our relationship **was** , in fact, doing him a humongous favor. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/56 "2011-03-23T19:50:46Z")
> [@Curious3d](#): > > Just tell him things start an hour before they actually do. Yeah, and this works too. They never catch on. Really! Absolutely never catch on. I told my mother that _her own birthday dinner_ was 75 minutes before it really was. She strolled in riiiiiight on time. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/57 "2011-03-23T19:53:55Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > For my part, I was with my ex for 7 months and he never understood that doing all the driving in our relationship **was** , in fact, doing him a humongous favor. What? ---
**Author:** ![Curious3d](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Curious3d](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curious3d)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/58 "2011-03-23T19:57:21Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > For my part, I was with my ex for 7 months and he never understood that doing all the driving in our relationship **was** , in fact, doing him a humongous favor. This confuses me too. Are you the horrible driver, or is he? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/59 "2011-03-23T20:02:46Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > What? I assume he didn’t have a car. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/60 "2011-03-23T20:35:18Z")
> [@Curious3d](#): > > This confuses me too. Are you the horrible driver, or is he? The poster is the only driver. The other guy either doesn’t have a license or doesn’t have a car, and he takes her chauffeur services for granted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190.md?page=4)