# I was married for \_\_\_\_\_ years, and my ex could never understand that \_\_\_\_\_. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 18, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190 "2011-03-18T19:54:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/101 "2011-03-25T15:31:29Z")
_My ex never understood that you don’t need to carry everything from the car into the house in one trip._ It might actually be better for you, and whatever items you are carrying, to actually make more than one trip. Why drop things, bang into things and break things when you can just make an extra trip? She lives with a chronic bad back. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/102 "2011-03-25T16:57:05Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I was married for 11 years and my late husband could never understand that… > … I couldn’t “just ignore” his mother’s behavior if we were staying in her house. > > … I wasn’t his personal chauffeur. > > … I\*\* want pizza once a month, maybe, not once a day. > > … if something needs to be done and he refused to do it, either I had to do it or it wouldn’t happen. I think he thought the chores fairy stopped by once a week\*\*. (bolding mine) I’m confused. 😕 How did you used to be married to the current Mr. Horseshoe? ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/103 "2011-03-25T17:08:23Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > I would have guessed ‘California’ in my head if she mentioned her experiences in Rancho Rio! 🆒 > > . All I can think of is the resort that Marge Simpson went to. ---
**Author:** ![surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/surrounded_by_literalists)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/104 "2011-03-25T17:45:27Z")
I can never get my DH to understand that if you go out and buy the cheapest available, then hate it because its not really what you wanted, its actually wasting money instead of saving money. When you deliberately spend money on something you don’t really like, everytime you look at it or use it you think, ‘Gosh, I wish I had a better one’. If you spend money on quality or your dreams, you only cry once. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/105 "2011-03-25T17:56:30Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > I’ve been married for 17 years and my wife still doesn’t understand that we need her as much as she needs us. > > … She doesn’t understand that she’s as worthy of happiness as she thinks we are. > > … She doesn’t understand that she spends too much on our daughter and not enough on herself. Go to the mall! Buy some clothes! Enjoy yourself, woman! > > … That she is more moral and strict than 99.99% of the people she admires for their “goodness”… Wow that’s sad. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/106 "2011-03-25T19:07:39Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > I would have guessed ‘California’ in my head if she mentioned her experiences in Rancho Rio! 🆒 > > . Well, its not Rancho Rio, because names were changed to protect the innocent. But it is a two word name that sounds kind of “exotic”. So, not only do you not know what state it is, it also sounds like it might be in some foreign country. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/107 "2011-03-25T21:08:33Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > I was married for five years (with him for a total of 8), and my ex could never understand that adults actually work, you know, for a living. To pay bills. And pay for all that alcohol that he seemed to be able to drink all day every day while I worked two full-time jobs, taught part time in grad school, and attended said grad school. But we never had enough money to, oh, I don’t know, go to the ballet or out to dinner or maybe hire a maid to clean the house that he never could get around to cleaning because he was too busy (drinking) at home while I was out working two full-time jobs, teaching part time in grad school, and attending said grad school. _I_ don’t understand how guys like that manage to get married in the first place. I’m not married, but have been staying with my mom and my brother for about three months. There is a growing list of things my brother does not understand, mostly involving dishes and cats. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/108 "2011-03-25T22:02:24Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Sure, there may be some exceptions but I probably only hand wrote a total of 4 checks last year. Gosh, you don’t say! And if **Elendil’s Heir** ’s wife only wrote four checks in a whole year… Don’t you think it would still make him bonkers that she didn’t “do the math and write down how much money is left in the account?” as per the original point? Yes, most people use online banking and credit/debit cards these days, but it doesn’t change that fact that in the rare occasions that when people _do_ have to write checks, you should make an update, especially if it’s a joint account and someone else needs to know about it. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/109 "2011-03-25T22:33:56Z")
I really like how we are trying to help make some people understand, or explain it to their SO. 🙂 I prefer the initial dose of therapy this thread offered. **Just post it or read it and move to the next one, because the maddening part is trying to rationalize any of it!** _Counterproductive_!! Too, too funny! 🙂 . ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/110 "2011-03-26T04:07:54Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > Gosh, you don’t say! And if **Elendil’s Heir** ’s wife only wrote four checks in a whole year… Don’t you think it would still make him bonkers that she didn’t “do the math and write down how much money is left in the account?” as per the original point?.. Well, not bonkers… just mildly annoyed, because when I’m the next person to write a check, which I almost invariably am, I’m the one who has to do the math for the preceding checks. But really, I’m not losing any sleep over this. Two other minor peeves which just occurred to me: - If you leave your keys in the same place every time when you get home, honey, you won’t have to search for them every time when you have to leave again. - If you lock your car every time when you get out of it, it’s much less likely to get stolen. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/111 "2011-03-28T06:45:45Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > There is a growing list of things my brother does not understand, mostly involving dishes and cats. Together or separate? ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/112 "2011-03-28T07:08:48Z")
I was married for 5 years and in a relationship with my wife for 3 years before that. I could never convince her that 74 degrees in the apartment was 74 degrees no matter what the temperature was outside. If it was summer, she’d crank the A/C up to 68 because “it’s hot outside,” and in the winter she’d set the heater to 80 because it was “cold outside.” Jeez! And I worked with a guy once who did the same thing at the office. Grrrr. He also said “warsh” instead of “wash.” Every now and then I’d ask “Where is the ‘r’ in the word ‘wash’.” All I’d get in return was a blank stare and then he’d walk off. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/113 "2011-03-28T08:35:52Z")
> [@chacoguy](#): > > 25 years > > Sex is a normal part of a relationship. :rolleyes: 16 and what he said… ---
**Author:** ![History\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b19c9b/32.png) [@History\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/History_Geek)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190/114 "2011-03-28T14:06:54Z")
Married for 8 years, and my ex could never understand that after working and going to school 10 to 12 hours, five days a week, all I really wanted to do on weekends was be home. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-married-for-_____-years-and-my-ex-could-never-understand-that-_____/575190.md?page=5)