# "I was the first....."

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-first/51493>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 24, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-first/51493 "2001-01-24T01:39:01Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 8\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Cabbage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@Cabbage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabbage)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-first/51493/21 "2001-01-25T00:53:41Z")

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Blasphemy!!

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**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-first/51493/22 "2001-01-25T00:59:51Z")

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I’m sure I’m the person who invented the word, “cell phone.” Before me, everyone was calling them “cellular phones.”

I also invented orgasms. You can thank me later. In private.

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**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-first/51493/23 "2001-01-25T02:44:13Z")

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Neither newsworthy nor interesting, but I just had two patents issued:

[http://www.delphion.com/details?pn=US06175917\_\_](http://www.delphion.com/details?pn=US06175917__)  
[http://www.delphion.com/details?pn=US06154839\_\_](http://www.delphion.com/details?pn=US06154839__)

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**Author:** ![Ivy\_Kitti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47774/32.png) [@Ivy\_Kitti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivy_Kitti)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-first/51493/24 "2001-01-25T02:50:57Z")

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I was the first person ever to call Justin something-or-other by the name of “Ducky” in first grade. The name stuck for good and I’m pretty damn proud of myself. 😃

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-first/51493/25 "2001-01-25T02:55:05Z")

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I invented the word “underwhelmed”. I was using it a good five years before I heard it anywhere else. So there 😛

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**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-first/51493/26 "2001-01-25T02:56:50Z")

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I invented the “Cat-apult”. Yes, I really did.

Instructions on the faceplate:

**TripCo Cat-Apult Feline Launcher  
S/N 17738 938 82374  
Minot ND, Prescott AZ**\*  
Directions:

1. Acquire Tabby, Calico, or other substitute feline.
2. Place feline into launch place receptacle.
3. Securely fasten lockbolt over feline.
4. Retract launch arm and set clasplock.
5. Pull clasplock release arm on command.
6. Repeat as desired.\*

And thus from my invention sprang the sport known as “Cat Skeet” and “Cat Trap”. Hearings begin Thursday in front of the Olympic Events Committee.

Tripler  
“Pull!” BAM! BAM!

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**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-first/51493/27 "2001-01-25T04:25:53Z")

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Heh. I have invented:

1. Those little dome-topped trash cans with the swinging lids.

2. Potted meat food product.

3. The Piggly Wiggly grocery store chain.

4. The Willys-Overland Quad.

5. WD-40.

6. Harrelson Hall. (Are there any other NCSU Dopers out there?)

7. Egg substitute.

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**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-first/51493/28 "2001-01-25T04:34:28Z")

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My great-grandfather invented individually-wrapped slices of cheese. Heh, and you thought it was Mr. Kraft all along.

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