# I was "the other man" and now I'm confused. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-other-man-and-now-im-confused/546781 "2010-07-15T14:55:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-other-man-and-now-im-confused/546781/21 "2010-07-16T15:40:11Z")
What everyone else said. This will not end well. Get out. NOW. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-other-man-and-now-im-confused/546781/22 "2010-07-17T04:18:44Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > What everyone else said. This will not end well. Get out. NOW. I don’t normally do this, but THIS. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-other-man-and-now-im-confused/546781/23 "2010-07-17T04:37:38Z")
I had been in situations similar to this years ago, before I met my partner. I had been with all sorts of men, many of whom were already in relationships. The problem is, you are not thinking with your brain, you’re thinking with your dick, and dicks can lead you into many situations that your brain would have warned you about. You seem like a genuinely nice guy with a lot to offer. Save it for someone who is free to devote himself to being with you. And as others have said, I hope you are playing safe. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-other-man-and-now-im-confused/546781/24 "2010-07-18T01:42:53Z")
> [@Khaki\_Campbell](#): > > _Excuse me ?_ > While I agree for marriage, for dating and choosing mates, gays (especially male) have it far, far better than us. If I were gay, I could go on a gay bar on a Friday night and be able to find myself some nice flirt to take back to my or his home. When gay teens can take a date to their high school proms without anyone giving it a second thought, I’ll agree that gays can date without stigma the way straights can. Until then, I reserve a bit of sympathy for the extra challenges they face. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-other-man-and-now-im-confused/546781/25 "2010-07-18T03:14:32Z")
Cheaters have a pretty strong social stigma in this society too and yet that stigma didn’t stop this cowardly closet case from doing what he wanted. Even if he does want to pretend to be straight, he should have found a woman willing to be his beard instead of tricking someone who thought she was marrying a straight guy. The only people I have sympathy for in this situation are the wife and kids. If millions of other men can find the courage to admit they’re gay in our society, this dude doesn’t need to be sneaking around and tricking the wife like this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-the-other-man-and-now-im-confused/546781.md?page=1)