# I was thinking about becoming a pimp.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 10, 2002, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257 "2002-07-10T15:01:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/21 "2002-07-11T15:10:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by katiekilldare \* > \*\*_Originally posted by aha_ > Are there, um, benefits? \*\* Katie, I am er umm holding the benefits right now. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/22 "2002-07-11T15:52:45Z")
don’t forget [http://www.pimphats.com](http://www.pimphats.com) ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/23 "2002-07-11T16:15:13Z")
Of course if you become a pimp you will need to listen to much funkier music then the Five Americans…d and r… ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/24 "2002-07-12T14:16:15Z")
When you get started aha, let me know I can check the women out for you. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/25 "2002-07-12T14:57:18Z")
Why not start out as a ho and work your way up to pimp? ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Big\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/26 "2002-07-12T15:02:35Z")
Three things that I dodn’t see anyone else mention: 1. A big black Cadillac. Or a Benzo. 2. Gold teef. 3. Lots of gold rings and chains. (Did you know, most pimps add 25% of their body weight through gold) ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/27 "2002-07-12T15:11:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*Funny, I just don’t picture an aging gracefully rock star doing such menial lower end of the totem pole kinda work. I picture \*\*Aha \*\* directing soft porn. \*\* I can see it now - Aha the Porn King - “Yeah…yeah, that’s right baby…oh yeah…_take on **this** , b_tch!\*” **Aha** , why not just film your ho’s? Two birds, one stone and all. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/28 "2002-07-12T15:54:16Z")
If there are any wimen out there who would like to become a ho for me please let me know by email or otherwise. There are many benefits and here are just a few; 1. No need to handle all that nasty money, I’ll take care of it for you. 2. Working hours are reasonable ( dark till daylight) 3. You receive 10% of the gross money earned. 4. The highest heels that can be bought. I’ll buy. One pair per ho please. 5. (Free medical) Doctor Handy has volunteered to check your plumbing for you every week for free! 6. Someone to call big daddy! 7. A chance of being in one of my upcoming porno movies. Downside would be; 1. The threat of being bitch slapped once in a while. 2. No coats allowed on the job during the winter months. I want the customers to see those beautiful bosoms. 3. No dental benefits of any kind. 4. You provide your on prophylactics. 5. You provide your own meals. Well, there you have it. Sounds too good to be true doesn’t it? Let me know if you are interested. The notorious huggy aha ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/29 "2002-07-12T16:02:56Z")
You’ll have to work the word “upside” into casual conversation as often as possible. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/30 "2002-07-12T16:07:19Z")
“notorious huggy”??? So, what about the legal overhead? My sister might be interested. Is there an aha franchise? ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/31 "2002-07-12T16:23:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bryan Ekers \* > \*\*You’ll have to work the word “upside” into casual conversation as often as possible. \*\* And “up under”. As in, “Damn, my gold toof done rolled up under the Lex. Ho, get up under there and get me my toof!” ---
**Author:** ![Clever\_Hans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Clever\_Hans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clever_Hans)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/32 "2002-07-12T17:28:27Z")
Deversify man, in this age of sexual equality the wimmens will want to get gratification too. And everyone knows gratification and man whores go hand in hand. Careful though you bitchslap a man whore and we’ll answer with a he-man he-bitch slap of our own. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/33 "2002-07-12T17:40:28Z")
Doesn’t sound so damn clever to me… ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/34 "2002-07-12T19:46:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > \*\*Doesn’t sound so damn clever to me… \*\* C’mon, **'nivorous** , if you want to perform in on of **Aha’s** quality animal/scat movies, I’m sure all ya have to do is ask nicely! ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/35 "2002-07-12T20:09:28Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. No need to handle all that nasty money, I’ll take care of it for you. Good thing. 'Cuz when **aha** says “nasty” money, [he](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23832) means [it](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=38526). Good ta see ya round these parts again, hooha. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/36 "2002-07-12T21:02:41Z")
Hey **aha** , I’ve got most evenings free. I could work for you! You don’t happen to have a retirement plan, do you? ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257/37 "2002-07-12T21:29:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*I saw the ultimate Pimp on _King of Hill_ the other day. Platform shoes, cane, floppy cowboy feathered hat, white three piece seventies style suit, winged collar purple shirt, long nails-the works. \*\* That was one of the funniest episodes ever. The pimp was named Alabaster Jones and was voiced by, none other than, Snoop Dog. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-was-thinking-about-becoming-a-pimp/118257.md?page=1)