# I watched a chick flick. Am I going to die? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 22, 2012, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045 "2012-07-22T15:33:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/1 "2012-07-22T15:33:52Z")
I wasn’t trying to get laid or anything. It was just on, nobody else was there. I started watching because there were some cute chicks, then next thing I knew I wanted to find out what happened, and I watched it all the way through. I even watched the credits and extra scenes. Should I see a doctor? Has this ever happened to a guy before? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/2 "2012-07-22T15:42:59Z")
I’m afraid you’re doomed, unless you wore your estrogen shields. Quick, grab a couple of beers and scratch your balls, just to make sure they’re still there. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/3 "2012-07-22T15:47:32Z")
Are you wearing a red shirt? A second tier actor? The last guy in the line hiking through the woods? Did you tell the producer you wanted more money? A guest star? The bad guy? The asshole who that nice lady shouldn’t be married too? Pulling some juvenille prank in place you are not supposed to be? These are the factors the Sugeon General has determined to be the most statistically significant in determining your probability of dieing. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/4 "2012-07-22T15:54:30Z")
You won’t die, but you must turn in your Man Card to the proper authorities. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/5 "2012-07-22T15:55:34Z")
**Musicat** is on the right track, I think, start burping and farting, get into that recliner, turn on televised golf, and keep telling everybody actually doing things; “Hey, y’know, you’re doing that wrong!” Godspeed! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/6 "2012-07-22T15:56:13Z")
Thanks for throwing yourself on that grenade, buddy. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/7 "2012-07-22T16:06:46Z")
That depends on which chick flick it was. If it was “When Harry Met Sally”, you’re all good. If it was “What’s Your Number?” or something of that ilk, well… ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/8 "2012-07-22T16:10:23Z")
Watching a chick flick with an actual chick shows you’re secure in your manhood, and care about her(or are at least smart enough to pretend 😉 ). Watching it alone? Dude, rent some Clint Eastwood westerns,stat! ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/9 "2012-07-22T16:45:38Z")
From what I have heard from others in your situation, you will not die, but you may start weeping or getting emotional over things that never touched you before. And it wont give you a monthly period, but you may experience the sensation of having a phantom vagina if you keep watching those movies. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/10 "2012-07-22T17:08:13Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I wasn’t trying to get laid or anything. It was just on, nobody else was there. I started watching because there were some cute chicks, then next thing I knew I wanted to find out what happened, and I watched it all the way through. I even watched the credits and extra scenes. Should I see a doctor? Has this ever happened to a guy before? Have you started squatting to pee yet? ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/11 "2012-07-22T17:09:54Z")
> [@janis\_and\_c0](#): > > You won’t die, but you must turn in your Man Card to the proper authorities. The standards have dropped as of late. Now you get a strike on your permanent man record. Get three strikes and you’re demoted to boy. You can get strikes removed by doing something manly; wrestling a bear or changing a tire, or something. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/12 "2012-07-22T18:46:35Z")
Are you up to date on your cooties vaccinations? If not, you’re more susceptible right now. -D/a ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/13 "2012-07-22T18:51:35Z")
Do you have a compulsion to dress in pink frills? Do you crave chocolate? Or extra sweet alcoholic drinks with umbrellas in them? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/14 "2012-07-22T19:02:06Z")
There is a sliding scale of chick flicks. On the low end of the scale is _Laura Croft: Tomb Raider_, which is about a chick who acts like a man with big tits. Mid-range is _Sister Act_ or any film with Queen Latifah in it. On the high end are flicks like Waiting to Exhale and _The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants_. Where the movie ranks on this scale determines how dangerous it is. Another indicator is how many people are killed in it. The more people killed in the movie, the less likely you are to die. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/15 "2012-07-22T19:14:43Z")
write this event down in some detail (not a diary, it is history). later on you have some notes when you want to appear sensitive to some one. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/16 "2012-07-22T19:18:31Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > There is a sliding scale of chick flicks. On the low end of the scale is _Laura Croft: Tomb Raider_, which is about a chick who acts like a man with big tits. Mid-range is _Sister Act_ or any film with Queen Latifah in it. On the high end are flicks like Waiting to Exhale and _The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants_. > > Where the movie ranks on this scale determines how dangerous it is. > > Another indicator is how many people are killed in it. The more people killed in the movie, the less likely you are to die. Hey, people die in them _Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants_ movies! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/17 "2012-07-22T19:19:33Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > write this event down in some detail (not a diary, it is history). later on you have some notes when you want to appear sensitive to some one. That’s a good idea. If you live, you might as well get something useful out of the movie, and getting laid by faking sensitivity is as useful as it gets. Even being able to rationally discuss the plot and “meaning” of the movie will score you some points with some chicks. This is of course assuming you can still get an erection after watching the flick. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/18 "2012-07-22T19:21:20Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Hey, people die in them _Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants_ movies! How would I know? You think I watch chick flicks? How many people die? I forgot to mention that 5 is the minimum, unless the lead chick is really butch. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/19 "2012-07-22T19:22:04Z")
Yes, you are going to die. Probably not related to watching the movie though. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045/20 "2012-07-22T19:55:44Z")
Forgot to mention – the CFS (Chick Flick Scale) was invented before _Sex and The City_ (I or II) were released. If you saw one of them, you would probably have been dead before the closing credits rolled. If you did see one of them and are still alive, turn yourself over to a credible medical research institution so they can determine why. You may have undiagnosed hormonal or chromosomal issues. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-watched-a-chick-flick-am-i-going-to-die/629045.md?page=2)