# I welcome death... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 10, 2011, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469 "2011-07-10T01:06:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/1 "2011-07-10T01:06:58Z")
This day has been leading to an evening of pure hell. My wife, my kids and I had been planning on attending a parade this evening. I was expecting only partial misery because my wife’s family would be there and that they would spend the evening talking to her and ignoring me, which is fine. Long story short, wife got sick and decided to stay home, I had already told the kids we would go, so I’m stuck here with my in-laws. Misery. Help! ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/2 "2011-07-10T01:51:25Z")
Sounds like you’re desperate, so try pretending you are not related to your in-laws, and just met them by chance today. Find out about them all over again. Try it, what have you got to lose? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/3 "2011-07-10T02:08:37Z")
You better learn to love your MIL now. She is just the person your wife is going to be in a couple decades so get a head start learning to love it now. I kid. I wish I got married to my ex-MIL if she were younger rather than her daughter. These things go both ways. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/4 "2011-07-10T02:20:47Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > You better learn to love your MIL now. She is just the person your wife is going to be in a couple decades so get a head start learning to love it now. 😕 :eek: ☹ ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/5 "2011-07-10T02:54:11Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > You better learn to love your MIL now. She is just the person your wife is going to be in a couple decades so get a head start learning to love it now. > > I kid. I wish I got married to my ex-MIL if she were younger rather than her daughter. These things go both ways. I know someone who divorced her husband to marry her father-in-law. Well, technically, I know her son. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/6 "2011-07-10T03:32:38Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > I know someone who divorced her husband to marry her father-in-law. Well, technically, I know her son. That is just wrong. My MIL is a fundamentalist Christian and I’m a Catholic 😛 We don’t get along, though we both make a half-assed effort at civility. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/7 "2011-07-10T03:37:15Z")
I suppose you could imagine you’re an anthropologist observing the culture of the native in-law population during motorized festivities. You might even get a thesis out of it. ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/8 "2011-07-10T13:00:08Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > I know someone who divorced her husband to marry her father-in-law. Well, technically, I know her son. So…is her son her now-husband’s grandson, or her ex-husband’s half-brother? In other words, who’s the kid’s dad? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/9 "2011-07-10T19:31:26Z")
Seems to me that since your wife won’t be there, you’ll be the sole parent dealing with your kids. And gosh knows how excited and needful-of-watching a bunch of kids can get in a big crowd at a parade. You’ll be \*soooo \*busy dealing with them you just won’t have time to sit & talk with MIL & her crowd. Oh darn. Besides, by being SuperDad you’ll piss her off no end since she thinks (nay, _knows_) that you’re a crappy father to her perfect grandkids. Seeing massive evidence to the contrary can’t make her happy. Then again, anytime somebody who goes by a name like **czarofspam** talks about death, I’m all for helping him over the edge. With an axe. Where’s this parade? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/10 "2011-07-10T20:06:35Z")
> [@postcards](#): > > So…is her son her now-husband’s grandson, or her ex-husband’s half-brother? > > In other words, who’s the kid’s dad? The father-in-law. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/11 "2011-07-10T20:11:23Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > …somebody who goes by a name like **czarofspam** … Kinda drew a blank when needed to pick a screen name. If I get a better idea (submissions welcome), I might consider getting it changed. Something along the the lines of **capt.hammer** 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/12 "2011-07-11T02:12:31Z")
I had an ancestor who married his step mother, though I guess in 1793 in Kentucky maybe it didn’t cause raised eyebrows. (Yeah, insert the Kentuckian jokes, I know them all.) ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/13 "2011-07-11T03:12:51Z")
> [@KRC](#): > > I had an ancestor who married his step mother, though I guess in 1793 in Kentucky maybe it didn’t cause raised eyebrows. > > (Yeah, insert the Kentuckian jokes, I know them all.) We had quitters during the Revolution. We called them “Kentuckians.” Joe ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/14 "2011-07-11T03:40:37Z")
Yeah, it’s really hard to get ice cubes in Kentucky nowadays, the lady who knew the recipie died. Sorry ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/15 "2011-07-11T15:43:59Z")
After the trial & acquittal, OJ moved to Kentucky. Why? Because all the DNA’s the same there. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/16 "2011-07-11T16:28:29Z")
Back to the OP: We need to get the debrief on which tactics you used and how the parade worked out. Did the MIL get the strangling she so richly deserved? ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/17 "2011-07-11T17:28:07Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > I know someone who divorced her husband to marry her father-in-law. Well, technically, I know her son. > [@postcards](#): > > So…is her son her now-husband’s grandson, or her ex-husband’s half-brother? > > In other words, who’s the kid’s dad? > [@needscoffee](#): > > The father-in-law. So this lady was married to her son’s half brother? ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/18 "2011-07-11T18:47:33Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Back to the OP: > > We need to get the debrief on which tactics you used and how the parade worked out. Did the MIL get the strangling she so richly deserved? Amazingly enough she was quite pleasant, probably because she ignored me. :p. Before we left I got a request to attend church the next day sos I may be saved and thus set a good example for my kids. Request denied. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/19 "2011-07-11T18:59:37Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > So this lady was married to her son’s half brother? There are so many relationships that it boggles my mind to consider them. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469/20 "2011-07-11T19:00:49Z")
> [@czarofspam](#): > > Before we left I got a request to attend church the next day sos I may be saved and thus set a good example for my kids. > > Request denied. Wow. Enough said. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-welcome-death/588469.md?page=2)