# I went and saw Eragon. Read this before you do. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 16, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377 "2006-12-16T05:42:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/21 "2006-12-16T21:25:40Z")
My brother went and saw it last night with his 9 year old - both big fans of the book - and they hated it. It’s bad when a 9 year old fantasy fan watches dragons on screen and hates it. I’ve heard that the kid who wrote it is basically a non-talent and it was glossed up a lot and partially ghost-written by his publisher so they could build hype around their 15 year old “author”. Does anyone know how true, if at all, that is? ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/22 "2006-12-16T21:56:19Z")
Haven’t seen the movie & certainly don’t intend to - but some of those reviews on Rotten Tomatoes were hilarious!!! Some of the funniest reviews since the “Gigli” days. ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/23 "2006-12-16T22:28:55Z")
[QUOTE=Quartz] The [review](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/reviews.html?in_article_id=422856&in_page_id=1924) in yesterday’s Daily Mail was hilarious. [/QUOTE] Don’t these guys have a right to make their mortgage payments just like everyone else? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/24 "2006-12-16T22:35:15Z")
[QUOTE=AThingWithFeathers] I don’t think Eragon was a great book in the first place; I read it when it first came out and thought it was chalky, poorly foreshadowed, way too LOTR derivative, and for an LOTR derivative work, his battle scenes were lacking. Plus, nearly all books are better than the movies that are made after them. [/QUOTE] How is a book “chalky”? I obviously can’t agree or disagree, but I’ve just never heard a book described that way. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/25 "2006-12-16T23:33:33Z")
I’m tempted to see it because the guy who plays Eragon looks kinda hot in the trailers. Hey, I’m only a year older than him… ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/26 "2006-12-16T23:41:00Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] **No one could tell from the trailers this movie is going to suck?** John DiFool is right. I could tell in 30 sec this was another LOTR wannabe with crappy acting, crappy CGI and no story to speak of. [/QUOTE] Bolding mine - Gotta agree with you there. The first time I saw the trailer for this (with Jeremy Irons chewing the scenery like there’s no tomorrow), my eyes nearly rolled back in my head. There was something in the shots I saw (apart from La Irons) that just reminded me so much of the D&D movie. But thanks to you all for confirming that I shouldn’t go and see this. Quickflix ahoy! ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/27 "2006-12-17T00:09:16Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] My brother went and saw it last night with his 9 year old - both big fans of the book - and they hated it. It’s bad when a 9 year old fantasy fan watches dragons on screen and hates it. I’ve heard that the kid who wrote it is basically a non-talent and it was glossed up a lot and partially ghost-written by his publisher so they could build hype around their 15 year old “author”. Does anyone know how true, if at all, that is? [/QUOTE] How Eragon got a dragon, got a life, and got kissed? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/28 "2006-12-17T00:38:59Z")
Currently 5.2 on IMDB. That’s BAAAAAAAAD! The commercials I saw made up my mind for me-- no go. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/29 "2006-12-17T02:39:12Z")
The funny thing I think is that one of the characters is named Hrothgar- which is very similar to a character name I used while playing the tongue-in-cheek MMORPG [Progress Quest.](http://www.progressquest.com/) I had heard that Palatini was 15 when he wrote the book, but I would like to know if he really is just a Viswanathan as **Cisco** presumes. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/30 "2006-12-17T04:40:26Z")
I just saw it. It had moments. Let’s say a C+. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/31 "2006-12-17T06:51:10Z")
**Hrothgar** was king of the Danes. He hired Beowulf to fight Grendel. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/32 "2006-12-17T06:57:05Z")
Must have had the name “Hrothgar” stuck in my subconcious then. Wouldn’t be the first time it had happened- at one point I was convinced I had written _The American Patrol_. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/33 "2006-12-17T08:47:55Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] The funny thing I think is that one of the characters is named Hrothgar- which is very similar to a character name I used while playing the tongue-in-cheek MMORPG [Progress Quest.](http://www.progressquest.com/) I had heard that Palatini was 15 when he wrote the book, but I would like to know if he really is just a Viswanathan as **Cisco** presumes. [/QUOTE] I believe it was first published by a vanity press. That was owned by his parents. I like to add that, because it makes it sound like other vanity presses turned him down. It would not surprise me if they hired an editor who had a free hand to make changes, but I haven’t read that anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/34 "2006-12-17T09:15:23Z")
Interesting information on Paolini International, LLC: > [@](#): > > His parents are Kenneth Paolini and Talita Hodgkinson, former members of the survivalist cult Church Universal and Triumphant. [Christopher Paolini - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Paolini) . > [@](#): > > Kenneth Paolini made money doing Rolfing, a form of massage. In 1997 the Paolinis started a publishing company, Paolini International L.L.C., bringing out two books critical of cults, and one on the educational philosophy of Ms. Paolini, a trained Montessori teacher. [Finding a Middle Earth in Montana; A Teenager's Fantasy Set in a Magical Land Is a Best Seller - The New York Times](http://www.nytimes.com/2003/10/07/books/07DRAG.html?ei=5007&en=182d1a464378aeac&ex=1380859200&adxnnl=1&partner=USERLAND&adxnnlx=1166346512-cN4MNszLNRqYkSOkyBMkeA) The books I can find that were published by them: Bryan, Gerald Barbee. 1940. Psychic Dictatorship in America. Pray, MT: Paolini International, LLC Kenneth Paolini, Talita Paolini. 400 Years of Imaginary Friends: A Journey Into the World of Adepts, Masters, Ascended Masters, and Their Messengers. Pray, MT: Paolini International, LLC. Check Amazon on the latter, see scathing reviews that make me think more highly of the Paolinis. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/35 "2006-12-17T11:08:45Z")
Hmm…would you say it’d be worth watching if I rented the DVD, turned on the French language track, but left the subtitles off? ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/36 "2006-12-17T13:40:22Z")
[QUOTE=Ranchoth] Hmm…would you say it’d be worth watching if I rented the DVD, turned on the French language track, but left the subtitles off? [/QUOTE] Well, if you added bathing your scrotum in nitric acid, I figure it’d be an even match. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/37 "2006-12-17T14:18:31Z")
[QUOTE=Quartz] The [review](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/reviews.html?in_article_id=422856&in_page_id=1924) in yesterday’s Daily Mail was hilarious. [/QUOTE] That was _brilliant_. Of course, now I’ve gone from ‘complete disinterest’ to ‘ghoulishly intrigued’. It sounds so horrible, it’s become quite compelling. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![clnilsen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecccb3/32.png) [@clnilsen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clnilsen)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/38 "2006-12-17T16:37:09Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] I had heard that Palatini was 15 when he wrote the book, but I would like to know if he really is just a Viswanathan as **Cisco** presumes. [/QUOTE] Having read both books, (and liked the first one) the second book I think proves that they were not written by the same person. The style, tone, etc was way too different to be written by one person. Especially for a sequal type book. IMHO of course.. ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/39 "2006-12-17T17:01:44Z")
[QUOTE=Ranchoth] Hmm…would you say it’d be worth watching if I rented the DVD, turned on the French language track, but left the subtitles off? [/QUOTE] No. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377/40 "2006-12-17T18:57:29Z")
I saw it last night. Bad, bad, bad. Easily supplants _Dead Man’s Chest_ as my worst movie of the year. Worse than _Attack of the Clones_. Probably the worst movie I’ve seen in theatres since _Wild Wild West_, and even there it’s a close call. 1. The dialogue was incredibly terrible. Obviously I knew that it would be cheesy, but there’s good cheese (_Star Wars_ or the original _Pirates of the Caribbean_, for example) and bad cheese. This was bad cheese. The screenwriters apparently just jotted down whatever line came into their head. No attempt to spice things up, no humor, no nothing. For the whole movie, I was filling in the dialogue before it was actually said, and I was never wrong by so much as a word. When the fortune-teller what’s-her-name promises to show, “your past [pause] and your future”, half the audience filled in “and your future” before the character did. 2. The movie was badly organized. They had to fit in every stereotypical bit of melodrama imaginable, and thus didn’t give any of it time to work. For instance, when Eragon’s finds his uncle dead, he immediately gets mad at Bron (or is that Brom?) and attacks him. Then thirty seconds later they’re best friends again. The ending, in particular, was a disaster. Eragon has met up with the rebels (Varden? Vanden?) and the climactic battle begins five minutes later. There’s no time to get to know who these people are, so why would we care about them? 3. Everything was done on the cheap: special effects, costumes, makeup, set design. Couldn’t the village have had more than three huts? Would that be too much to ask? And the evil King’s headquarters looked particularly shoddy. So he’s ruled the country for fifty years, yet all he’s acquired in that time is a throne and a big, black-and-white poster? He’s got a long way to go before he competes with real evil overlords. 4. The acting. Sweet Og, the acting. This movie is going to get so many Razzie nominations that other worthy contenders like _Little Man_ may be completely shut out. I will pass over the abundance of cliches, crude emotional manipulation, and outright copying from other fantasy series, since those were presumably flaws that the movie inherited from the book. Suffice to say, this movie is what the word crap was invented to describe. It’s not fun camp like _Dungeons and Dragons_ . Nobody–not the writers, actors, or director–was willing to make the effort to claw their way up to mediocrity. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-and-saw-eragon-read-this-before-you-do/384377.md?page=3)