# "I went through so much pain giving birth to you, and you are ungrateful" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 18, 2016, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066 "2016-05-18T05:33:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2016, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/21 "2016-05-18T18:10:23Z")
I prefer: “Kids. They come out of your vagina and ruin your life.” ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2016, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/22 "2016-05-18T18:18:22Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Now, which argument is fairer? I’ll go with the child’s argument as fairer, of the two described. However, the mother’s better argument would be that she sacrificed her time and talent to raise the child, attempting to provide every opportunity for the child to succeed, and this is the thanks I get in return. Biological birth is a medical condition that you have attained. The mother could have aborted the child or gone to full term with the pregnancy. It’s after the baby is born, when the true work of parents begins, whether they are the natural parents or adoptive parents. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2016, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/23 "2016-05-18T18:23:09Z")
I always saw labor as the “cost of doing business,” the business in question being deciding to have a baby. Kinda like if I’m going to lose weight. The cost of making that decision is time (spent working out and meal planning as opposed to other leisure), some amount of discomfort (if I haven’t worked out in a while) and fairly substantial behavior changes. If you have a baby inside of you, it needs to come out somehow. In most cases, that means some sort of discomfort, whether via labor pains, a needle in the back or surgery or some combination. Anecdotally, my husband (who is from India), is far more likely to bring up the whole childbirth thing when he feels the kids aren’t being respectful. I usually tell him that I appreciate his support and I love that he’s adamant that they respect me, but I usually tell him that they won’t respect me unless I’m the one demanding/earning it. And that’s got nothing to do with pushing them out of my body, no matter how much that hurt. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2016, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/24 "2016-05-18T18:26:50Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > I have noted a tendency of some mothers in Asia to scold their children in the following manner: “I went through so much pain to give birth to you, and now you are such an ungrateful child today”. Heh. I’m now looking forward to my wife using that line on our kid. _“I took some drugs, and when I came out of it you were in a crib!”_ May not have quite the same punch. ---
**Author:** ![Tzigone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Tzigone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzigone)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2016, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/25 "2016-05-18T18:30:01Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Heh. I’m now looking forward to my wife using that line on our kid. > > _“I took some drugs, and when I came out of it you were in a crib!”_ > > May not have quite the same punch. Well, she could always make up a horrific birth story with 22 hours of labor…just have to get the rest of the family to keep their mouths shut. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2016, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/26 "2016-05-18T18:35:31Z")
> [@Tzigone](#): > > Well, she could always make up a horrific birth story with 22 hours of labor…just have to get the rest of the family to keep their mouths shut. I have one he can borrow. 33 1/2 hours of labor ending in a seizure, luckily no surgeries, though it took my husband 20 minutes after the seizure to convince me that the kid screaming in the room was mine. I thought it was 2004. My son was born in 2006. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2016, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/27 "2016-05-18T19:35:29Z")
My mother never used the labor guilt trip with me. But my father never failed to mention how much sleep he lost due to my colicky crying. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2016, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/28 "2016-05-18T21:45:06Z")
Hee. My brother and I both toook about an hour to be born, and slept through the night from birth. We teased my mom that she couldn’t use this one on us. And at one point I said I didn’t ask to be born, and she agreed that was reasonable. 🙂 Best. Mom. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2016, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/29 "2016-05-18T22:05:51Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > One common retort to this is, apparently, “I didn’t \*ask \*to be born - you were the one who decided to have me and give birth to me, I didn’t ask for it.” “Well if you had, the answer woulda been NO!” Don’t remember where I heard that. Maybe Bill Cosby. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/30 "2016-05-19T02:30:33Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > A better reply would be, “Well Mom, if you had kept your legs crossed, this wouldn’t have happened.” They were crossed! And tied! But I was bending over a sofa! Are you happy now? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/31 "2016-05-19T03:32:01Z")
My son tried that one on me once. He got a (tongue in cheek) lecture about how labor is in fact triggered by the fetus, and goddammit, he was indeed asking to be born, rather emphatically and unignorably, and 3 weeks early and the nursery not even finished at that! Moral of the story: don’t argue with biology nerds. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/32 "2016-05-19T04:33:59Z")
[quote=“Velocity, post:1, topic:755066”] > [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > “Well if you had, the answer woulda been NO!” > Don’t remember where I heard that. Maybe Bill Cosby. (Repeating myself from a 4-1-2011 thread) \*These are really old, but I’m pretty sure the source was Johnny Carson. A little too mean to actually be used, but they still crack me up. - When an unhappy child whines “Why did you have me, anyway?” the best response is “Because we didn’t know it was going to be you!” - If the child’s lament is “I didn’t ask to be born!”, the response should be “And if you had, the answer would have been 'No!” \* ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/33 "2016-05-19T05:02:14Z")
> [@Randolph](#): > > You never text, you never Skype… [QUOTE=Alessan] How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? That’s all right, don’t trouble yourself. I’ll just sit here in the dark. [/QUOTE] That just sounds like…mothers…in general. Without any specific religious or ethnic persuasion. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/34 "2016-05-19T06:14:10Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > That just sounds like…mothers…in general. Without any specific religious or ethnic persuasion. All mothers, regardless of religion, may use guilt. But, Jews invented Guilt and Jewish Mothers refined it. And the full complete answer to “How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?” is: _Oh, no. Don’t you worry about me. You just go out and have fun with your friends while I stay here at home sitting in the dark. Crying. And asking G-d what I did to deserve to be treated this way by my own children. Maybe you’ll remember to say Kaddish for me once every couple of years._ ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/35 "2016-05-19T10:01:12Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > I always saw this as part and parcel of the Judeo-Christian mindset, a lot of which comes across as “I created the universe, now spend your life sucking up to me.” Of course, the same applies - who asked Him to? Nah, Chinese mothers do it too. > [@Omar\_Little](#): > > I’ll go with the child’s argument as fairer, of the two described. However, the mother’s better argument would be that she sacrificed her time and talent to raise the child, attempting to provide every opportunity for the child to succeed, and this is the thanks I get in return. See **faithfool** in post 18. **Ranger Jeff** , you left out the child-in-law and the grandchildren. They may be unacceptable or lacking but they must be brought up. Tsk. Back to Mothers School with you! ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/36 "2016-05-19T11:33:27Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > That just sounds like…mothers…in general. Without any specific religious or ethnic persuasion. Well, yeah. But the Jewish Mother stereotype is a popular one. Being Jewish myself, I joke about it all the time with me kids- tease them with classic Jewish guilt complaints. Enjoy: [Stereotypes of Jews - Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypes_of_Jews#Jewish_mother) Closely related- The Italian Mother ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/37 "2016-05-19T12:19:46Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > the Jewish concept of “Original Guilt”, which seems to have crossed the oceans/continents and found root in Asia. The Jews originated in Asia. ---
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/38 "2016-05-19T15:11:51Z")
According to my Asian in-laws, children owe their parents everything, no matter how horrible the parents actually are. You must respect, obey, and care for parents forever, or you bring shame on the entire family, back through the ancestors etc. You use shame, invalidation, and other kinds of manipulation to instill this mindset. Charming, eh. ---
**Author:** ![Jumpbass](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jumpbass/32/147_2.png) [@Jumpbass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jumpbass)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/39 "2016-05-19T15:22:29Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > Despite the fact that it’s a Bill Cosby line, I always liked _“I brought you into this world and I can take you out!”_ “…and make another one just like you!” ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066/40 "2016-05-19T15:54:01Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > “I went through so much pain to give birth to you, and now you are such an ungrateful child today”. Some things just aren’t worth the, “Shut Up! Who’s the Parent here anyway, you Self Indulgent Brat!? Guess its Me again…” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-went-through-so-much-pain-giving-birth-to-you-and-you-are-ungrateful/755066.md?page=3)