# I will fucking kill you Crank Yankers. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 19, 2002, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814 "2002-06-19T05:35:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/1 "2002-06-19T05:35:24Z")
I don’t want to waste electrical synapses to my brain watching it, and I don’t want you to either. Here are some points that ire me: 1. Oooh, you call people up, then re-enact the phone call, but _with puppets!_. Reaaaal room for growth there guys! Two years down the line, are you gonna stop bleeping “shit” in an attempt to get fans? Show designer: Here, we call people about dumb shit, then we act it out! Comedy Central Exec: It’ll be like watching someone talk on the phone, except you can hear what the other person is saying! _With puppets!_. 1. The ads have invaded The Onion. Go there right now and look. When you click on the AV Club, it takes you to a full page ad of the damned show. Get off of my onion, you are making my eyes burn! I don’t care if “the call’s for you”. Stop advertising your worthless show! 2. Fuck Zette. Pure and simple. 3. Probably the worst (even counting #3) is that they have a character named Special Ed who is a parody of people with mental handicaps. He repeats words over and over in an attempt to make the viewer laugh at “how plain dumb funny retards can be! A-hyuck!” Show designer: And we’ll call him Special Ed, you know, like special education! And he’ll wear a football helmet that isn’t strapped on, because we all know retards run into things! Comedy Central Exec: Oooh! And we’ll give him buck teeth! That way, everyone knows that he’s stupid, so they aren’t afraid to laugh at him! Show designer: And then, we can have somebody call up a business, and when they get frustrated, they look bad and not us! It’s genius! Comedy Central, you have created greats like The Daily Show. But get this vaccuous Muppets degeneration out of my sight. Kill it dead. Show designer: Oh! And we can have a frog, and he sings to people on the phone about his genitals! ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/2 "2002-06-19T06:01:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by red\_dragon60 \* > **Two years down the line…** God willing, this show won’t exist 3 months from now. I can’t imagine that a show that horrible could be getting any ratings. Horrible show. Awful. ---
**Author:** ![Pathros\_1983](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@Pathros\_1983](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pathros_1983)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/3 "2002-06-19T06:34:29Z")
So far, it’s getting pretty good ratings. Personally, I’m kind of sick of the adam corolla, jimmy kiemel sex humor. (they are on Crank Yankers) It was funny at first, but now its just annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Skydive101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@Skydive101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skydive101)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/4 "2002-06-19T06:58:09Z")
They cancel Greg the Bunny and put this kind of shit on??? Signs of the Apocalypse. Gotta be. ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/5 "2002-06-19T07:07:24Z")
They cancelled TV Funhouse after what, four episodes? Crank Yankers’ll be gone before you know it. I’ve found the show to have a few funny moments, but only a few, and it’s certainly not a good kind of humor. As the OP pointed out, it includes things like making fun of the handicapped (there was one segment with a blind stripper threatening to sue a strip club manager because he couldn’t turn off the strobes so she could dance with her seeing-eye dog onstage). The idea was questionable to begin with, and implemented with less than stellar judgement. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/6 "2002-06-19T07:51:19Z")
Yup, there’s just no fun like watching people ruin other people’s day. _bleech_ ---
**Author:** ![dead0man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@dead0man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dead0man)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/7 "2002-06-19T08:05:52Z")
Come on now, a blind stripper calling a strip club to ask if she can dance with her seeing eye dog IS funny. I mean that. \ What do you mean its not ok to make fun of retards? Next thing you’re going to say is that I cant make fun of midgets and people with really big ears.\ dead0man ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/8 "2002-06-19T09:59:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by red\_dragon60 \* > \*\*3. Fuck Zette. Pure and simple. > > \*\* ???:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/9 "2002-06-19T10:13:41Z")
I saw muppet nipples! > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by red\_dragon60 in thread 2190488_ > **Oh god yes I hate “hi Opal!” posts. If you really need to show off that you are a childish lurker who wants to say an old inside joke to fit in, why not instead substitute it with “Fuck Zette”, who pointed out the phenomenon in this thread?** ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/10 "2002-06-19T11:58:23Z")
> [@](#): > > I will fucking kill you Crank Yankers. Lovely sentiment. I’d suggest that _you_ have some “Reaaaal room for growth there . . .” ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/11 "2002-06-19T12:21:27Z")
**UB** : I presumed the intent was to “kill”, in the sense of “stop further production of the televised serial”. Context: > [@](#): > > _(from the OP)_ > Comedy Central, you have created greats like The Daily Show. But get this vaccuous Muppets degeneration out of my sight. **Kill it dead.** (bolding added) ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/12 "2002-06-19T12:44:47Z")
I will never understand it when someone hates a show so much that they have to start a pit thread about it. My TV has this thing called a “channel selector” which actually allows me to change the channel when there’s something on that fails to entertain or interest me. There’s even an ON/OFF selector that allows me to prevent the machine from showing images at all and even producing sound. Is my TV special? I don’t remember these features being particularly touted as advanced or rare in television sets. ---
**Author:** ![Hodge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Hodge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hodge)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/13 "2002-06-19T12:51:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by red\_dragon60 \* > \*\*3. Fuck Zette. Pure and simple. \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spooje \* > \*\*???:eek: \*\* I believe the relevant link is [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=120606) ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/14 "2002-06-19T13:58:24Z")
You actually managed to _watch_an entire episode of _Crank Yankers_?! I have yet to make it through one of the 30-second _commercials_ for it without diving for the remote. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/15 "2002-06-19T14:04:42Z")
Yet another entry on the ever-growing list of Reasons I’m Glad My Cable Was Cut Off. Blech. Worst part is…your **average** American probably thinks this show is a SCREAM…look at how well the Jerky Boys did. (BTW…when I first saw the thread title I thought it was another Anti-USA diatribe…talk about Pavlovian response. ;)) ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/16 "2002-06-19T14:30:19Z")
I can’t believe that shit was greenlit in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/17 "2002-06-19T14:30:28Z")
I must confess, I found the bit in which they called up the little old lady at the bed and breakfast trying to set up accommodations for the Wu-Tang Clan to be pretty damn funny. I agree, though, that their advertising has been way overinvasive. It’s the X10 mini spy camera of television shows. Dr. J ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/18 "2002-06-19T15:40:28Z")
> [@](#): > > I presumed the intent was to “kill”, in the sense of “stop further production of the televised serial”. Gotcha. I was unaware “Crank Yankers” is the title of a TV show, I assumed it was derogatory label applied to the programming staff. I gotta watch more television. Betcha _never_ heard that said before. **red\_dragon60** , ignore my remarks above. They’re obviously not pertinent. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/19 "2002-06-19T15:59:19Z")
I see you’re still on your “Kill the hyperbolic ‘I want to kill so-and-so’ idiomatic expression” mission, **UncleBeer**. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/20 "2002-06-19T16:30:19Z")
The one that really pissed ME off was the one where Dennis Leary called animal control claiming that he was being attacked by a monkey he was babysitting. He actually had them call 911 and said police were on their way! Then he said “oh he’s ok now, he’s dancing” and hung up. But the police were still on their way! Don’t fuck with public emergency services! And the part with Special Ed was not only totally out of line it wasn’t even vaguely funny! It was ANNOYING and STUPID! I think that encouraging crank calls is just a bad idea anyway 😕 I hope the show gets cancelled soon. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814.md?page=2)