# I will fucking kill you Crank Yankers. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 19, 2002, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814 "2002-06-19T05:35:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/21 "2002-06-19T17:09:01Z")
> [@](#): > > I see you’re still on your “Kill the hyperbolic ‘I want to kill so-and-so’ idiomatic expression” mission, UncleBeer. Yes. What of it? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/22 "2002-06-19T17:46:43Z")
seems to me the whole concept of the crank call is to hear the reaction of the victim and imagine the look on their face. acting it out with lame puppets not only defeats the purpose, but ruins anything funny about the content of the call. I couldn’t stand watching that shit. If i didn’t look at the screen, some of the jokes were almost clever, but the stupid puppets ruined it for me. “Jerky Boys” had some real funny stuff, cause the reaction of the victim was left somewhat to the imagination. Special Ed was the worst. Funny as a SNL movie. (Ouch!) I cant believe Stephen Colbert has anything to do with this crap. And for the record, i thought “TVFunhouse” was damn funny! ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/23 "2002-06-19T18:12:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Revtim \* > \*\*I will never understand it when someone hates a show so much that they have to start a pit thread about it. My TV has this thing called a “channel selector” which actually allows me to change the channel when there’s something on that fails to entertain or interest me. There’s even an ON/OFF selector that allows me to prevent the machine from showing images at all and even producing sound. Is my TV special? I don’t remember these features being particularly touted as advanced or rare in television sets. \*\* See, I am really mad at how they are advertising! The show has completely invaded the Onion and several other media venues. Look at all the people who will never buy an X10 camera because of the ads, and you will see the same group who will not watch the show for the same reason. Too much ads! I am glad to see I am not alone in my loathing of this show. ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/24 "2002-06-19T18:30:53Z")
The stupid damn pop-up ads that don’t pop up in their own windows and THAT HAVE FUCKING SOUND are what irritate me the most. I spend a bit of time on Yahoo, since that’s where my e-mail and fantasy baseball league are, and I keep getting hit with this damn thing. I never watch Comedy Central, I have no interest in this show. But I have this damn ad WITH SOUND that keeps coming on while I’m at work. It’s been going on for WEEKS now. Maybe one of these days they’ll get another advertiser. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/25 "2002-06-19T20:21:44Z")
**Unclebeer** , your posts of type “Intolerant member X of group Y that supports tolerance” are rather trite and formulaic, and rather than advance any debate you seem content to make political sniping comments, that are frequently, as in this thread, utterly pointless. Putting aside for the moment the spectacle of watching a poster with a hair-trigger temper chastise another for irate behavior… Didn’t you take rjung to the pit for the exact same behavior you’ve been exhibiting of late? If you’re mission is to cure the world of hypocrisy – I’d say physician, heal thyself! ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/26 "2002-06-19T20:27:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBeer \* > \*\* > Yes. What of it? \*\* It seems a bit like tilting at windmills for you to make it your personal mission to eliminate an idiomatic expression like this. But, if you want to continue it’s no skin off my nose. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/27 "2002-06-19T21:40:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by red\_dragon60 \* > \*\* > > See, I am really mad at how they are advertising! The show has completely invaded the Onion and several other media venues. Look at all the people who will never buy an X10 camera because of the ads, and you will see the same group who will not watch the show for the same reason. Too much ads! > \*\* That makes sense. It annoys me too when you can’t seem to avoid ads for something in ANY media. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/28 "2002-06-19T22:14:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Unclebeer, your posts of type “Intolerant member X of group Y that supports tolerance” are rather trite and formulaic, and rather than advance any debate you seem content to make political sniping comments, that are frequently, as in this thread, utterly pointless. We **had** just this topic in GD awhile back. You’ll note, if you can dig out that thread (it was started by Zette) that I’m not the sole holder of this opinion; merely the most vocal. I’d also have to say I see nothing “political” about my comments here. > [@](#): > > Didn’t you take rjung to the pit for the exact same behavior you’ve been exhibiting of late? No. I started that pit thread for much the same reason I’ve made all my other comment about the barbarity I find in wishes of death for other humans. Where’s the hypocrisy? My postion and actions in this respect are totally consistent. And where’s the evidence of the “hair-trigger” temper you say I possess? > [@](#): > > It seems a bit like tilting at windmills for you to make it your personal mission to eliminate an idiomatic expression like this. But, if you want to continue it’s no skin off my nose. Then why do you bother commenting? Allow me to tilt away while you simply laugh from the sidelines. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/29 "2002-06-19T22:19:28Z")
I love big tilts, **UncleBeer**. ---
**Author:** ![PhiloVance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e19adc/32.png) [@PhiloVance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhiloVance)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/30 "2002-06-19T22:49:22Z")
I too, do not watch that much TV; the thread title intrigued me and I find myself much enlightened. At first I thought it was another hate the Yanks, but only the ones who smoke/inhale/? crank. Give me the Man Show, anytime. ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2002, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/31 "2002-06-19T23:14:26Z")
Hey! Ace0Spades and Unclebeer! Get the hell outta my thread unless you want to talk about how much Crank Yankers sucks! ::shakes fist at youngins:: ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/32 "2002-06-20T00:01:34Z")
OK first, Crank Yankers is way funny- like the muppets on crack. Second, The next person who does THIS: > [@](#): > > 1. Fuck Zette. Pure and simple. Is going to seriously get my ire up. I don’t like it, I don’t want it, and I won’t have it. Don’t do it, please. Thank you for your time and attention and don’t make me say it twice. Zette ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/33 "2002-06-20T00:16:05Z")
Clarification: in the thread linked above, I said I was all for the “Fuck Zette” concept- that was a joke. I didn’t really think anyone would do it. Please don’t- it’s as bad as if not worse then Hi Opal as far as making threads go way off track. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tof](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@The\_Tof](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tof)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/34 "2002-06-20T00:37:33Z")
You guys are taking this show waaay too seriously. It’s just a silly show. It doesn’t encourage crank calls anymore than Xena encouraged sword fights, if that makes sense. Let me put it this way. A\> Children should not be watching it. B\> Adults should have sense to realize its a comedy show. The Special Ed character has a background behind him as far as the guy who performs that voice. And we’re not supposed to be laughing at Special ed anyway, but the responses of the people on the phone. The show does have some low points, but it has some high points, too. The Wu Tang Clan trying to book a room at a small bed and breakfast. Some guy trying to buy flowers with a card that indicates his extreme anger for the girl. Some guy calling a porn shop when his mom keeps interrupting, so he tells his mom he’s ordering pizza (and even has the porn worker pretend he’s a restaurent worker.) Overall-- a definate upgrade over that stupid TV Funhouse show in my opinion. So THERE TAKE THAT! ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/35 "2002-06-20T05:18:58Z")
Ok, but what about the Dennis Leary part where they called 911? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tof](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@The\_Tof](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tof)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/36 "2002-06-20T05:24:04Z")
actually, when i heard that I thought… “I can’t believe he’s going to let them call 911.” I have no defense for that other than, Leary got off the phone pretty quick, so I don’t think he thought that she would. I agree with you in that it shouldn’t have gone that far on that skit, like I said, it was a low point. Each call is pretty hit or miss, but the ones that hit are pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/37 "2002-06-20T06:18:52Z")
This is the worst idea for a TV show since _Fear Factor_. Crank calls are _not_ funny…period. I refuse to watch it. ---
**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/38 "2002-06-20T08:17:29Z")
I opened this thread because I was curious as to what a “crank yanker” might be. It seemed vaguely obscene, and thus, perversely alluring. Now I discover that it is just another lame TV show. And where will **THAT** end, I ask you? But now I must take issue with a stunt performed on this “show”. I once again agree with **OpalCat** : **911 IS FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY.** It is not for the stupid to toy with as they will. It exists for the purpose of **saving lives**. Friends, I cannot emphasize this enough. I have been saved from fairly certain death by the good people of 911. Fucking with 911 is not funny. Fucking with police is not funny. Imagine dying slowly of a sucking chest wound, wondering through the haze of pain just where the ambulance is, and when you can hold onto life no longer, being told that the reason they could not get there in time to save you was because “some crank yanker called about a monkey”. Do you see now how this sort of thing can jangle the nerves of more civic-minded folks? **UncleBeer** , I know this will probably upset you, but I can’t help sort of wishing something like the above would happen to one of these ‘crank yanker’ people. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![cleosia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@cleosia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cleosia)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/39 "2002-06-20T14:09:26Z")
I always thought that making crank calls was illegal. Am I wrong? ---
**Author:** ![occ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@occ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/occ)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814/40 "2002-06-20T20:57:18Z")
Also, listen to the Jerky Boys for awhile. It’s hilarious, but wears thin veeeerrryyy quickly. I only caught two of the calls…the Wu-Tang one was funny because it was so ridiculous a concept, the Special Ed one was stupid. However, there was one redeeming moment: when the tech support guy, in a hurry to mock AOL, accidentally transposed in the other major target for techies, Microsoft. Funny to me, anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-fucking-kill-you-crank-yankers/114814.md?page=1)