# I will not be wearing this shirt again... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199 "2007-04-22T19:29:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Absolute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Absolute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absolute)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/1 "2007-04-22T19:29:43Z")
I managed to get stuck in my car a few miles outside of Boston during rush hour yesterday, and so when I saw a Barnes and Noble on the side of the road I figured I’d pop in and kill some time. I walk in and take a look around. It’s a two-level store, with most of the interesting stuff on the upper level. I make my way towards the escalator. As I approach, a saleswoman intercepts me, smilingly pleasantly. Her: “Can I help you find what you’re looking for today?” Me: “No, I just thought I’d come in and look around - where do you have–” Her: “–self-help books? Up the stairs and to the left.” Me: “Err…no, uh… computers…” Her, without missing a beat, and just as cheerful: “Oh! On the other side, near the history section.” I thank her and scurry away, somewhat bewildered. What the hell? I’m in a cheerful mood! Did I forget to shave this morning? Do I have stains on my clothes? Food in my hair? Blade marks on my wrists? Do I smell? Why would she assume I’m looking for self-help books? I wander around and find a bathroom with a large mirror. No, nothing obvious. As I leave the bathroom, and head through a column of shelves, I see the same woman coming up the escalator. She looks at me, and then quickly glances away and walks in the opposite direction. I look at the sign on the stand next to me - dammit! Self fucking help! I spent the next hour hiding in the computer section, periodically taking furtive glances at myself with my cell phone camera. I suppose it’s a good thing I wasn’t actually upset about something - she might have tried to have me committed. ---
**Author:** ![Gentle\_Robot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gentle\_Robot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gentle_Robot)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/2 "2007-04-22T19:36:56Z")
What’s on the shirt? I heart Charles Manson? ---
**Author:** ![GrrlGenius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@GrrlGenius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrrlGenius)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/3 "2007-04-22T20:09:54Z")
Yeah, what’s the shirt say? I think you left that part out. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/4 "2007-04-23T00:47:54Z")
Maybe it said “I’m with stupid.” ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/5 "2007-04-23T01:49:39Z")
And where’s the pics taken from the cell phone camera? Cite. We’ll tell you if you should wear the shirt again or if it was just bad breath or something. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Absolute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Absolute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absolute)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/6 "2007-04-23T02:13:39Z")
Oh, the title was just a joke - it was just a plain black collared shirt. I thought maybe it looked shabby or something… [Here](http://avalys.net/selfhelp.jpg) is a picture. I’m, uh…still wearing it. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/7 "2007-04-23T02:16:25Z")
Damn. I was gonna guess hair shirt. ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/8 "2007-04-23T02:37:39Z")
My bet is on an amateur psych experiment. All the co-workers get together and decide they’re going to direct people to the self-help section without being asked, just to see how they react. Myself, I liked going to the computer lab in college when it was nearly empty, and sitting right next to people, instead of taking a PC several seats away like any decent person. Heh. I never had anyone actually get up and move to another computer, but I think a couple came close. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/9 "2007-04-23T02:42:18Z")
I find your self-conscious reaction to the incident both adorable and hilarious. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/10 "2007-04-23T02:58:55Z")
Hmm…I work at Borders. I am SO going to try this one night! heh heh ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/11 "2007-04-23T03:46:00Z")
[QUOTE=Absolute] Oh, the title was just a joke - it was just a plain black collared shirt. I thought maybe it looked shabby or something… [Here](http://avalys.net/selfhelp.jpg) is a picture. I’m, uh…still wearing it. [/QUOTE] OK, got it. Amateur psychoanalysis coming right up. Very cute picture, btw. So you’re very clean-cut, but you don’t look like a business executive–no suit. And you don’t look geeky enough for science stuff–no glasses. And you don’t look grungy enough for motorcycle stuff or dirt biking or that type of stuff–no leather jacket. What’s left? Spirituality and self-help. Nothing to do with the shirt. Well, except that maybe if the shirt were white, you’d get pointed to spirituality instead. So. . . how’s that for pre-judging and stereotyping? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/12 "2007-04-23T03:59:03Z")
You look like Matt Damon. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/13 "2007-04-23T04:36:22Z")
[QUOTE=BlueKangaroo] You look like Matt Damon. [/QUOTE] Maybe the clerk only knows of Matt Damon from Team America’s representation, and perhaps mistook the OP for being him, which would explain the “self-help” section. “Matt Daaaamon” ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/14 "2007-04-23T05:48:36Z")
[QUOTE=BlueKangaroo] You look like Matt Damon. [/QUOTE] Wow, he sure does. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/15 "2007-04-23T06:06:43Z")
[QUOTE=BlueKangaroo] You look like Matt Damon. [/QUOTE] I was about to post the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/16 "2007-04-23T06:27:21Z")
I thought the OP was a girl. From reading the OP my attraction centers were alerted and now I feel mighty foolish! ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/17 "2007-04-23T06:47:36Z")
[QUOTE=BlueKangaroo] You look like Matt Damon. [/QUOTE] I just looked up Matt Damon, and I think the OP is cuter than Matt Damon, but to each their own. > [@Autolycus](#): > > now I feel mighty foolish! And now you’re looking mighty foolish as well. Next time, you can skip the posting about it and just have the feeling. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/18 "2007-04-23T09:36:47Z")
Who is Matt Damon? ---
**Author:** ![A.I.Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@A.I.Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.I.Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/19 "2007-04-23T10:03:43Z")
[Matt Damon](http://washington.uwc.edu/depts/compsci/girlscout/Gabby/Gabby/matt_damon_front.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199/20 "2007-04-23T13:47:07Z")
[QUOTE=Heffalump and Roo] I just looked up Matt Damon, and I think the OP is cuter than Matt Damon, but to each their own. [/QUOTE] The OP is quite cute, so perhaps the woman was directing him to the self-help section to make sure he didn’t need to go there, and then was coming up the stairs to find him and give him her number when she “caught” him there, she couldn’t bear the fact that he’d actually failed her little test! You’re better off without her, dude. Frikkin’ mindgames. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-will-not-be-wearing-this-shirt-again/401199.md?page=2)