# I wish I cheated on my wife **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 13, 2003, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384 "2003-04-13T03:47:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/21 "2003-04-14T04:43:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DarkPrince \* > **Convince her you were sleeping around on her during the final stages of your marriage. Wait a month or two(or until the divorce is completed if you wish) and tell her you just tested HIV positive. Cruel? Yes, but getting a below the belt hit to both her, and the guy she was sleeping around with would be oh-so-satisfying.** That’s downright nasty. No matter what she did, no one deserves that. It’s childish, completely reprehensible, behavior. ---
**Author:** ![guava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/71e660/32.png) [@guava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guava)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/22 "2003-04-14T05:46:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > \*\* Last year, she called me up. She had to ask around to get my parents number and then get my number from my Mom, so she knew I was married already when she called, and joked that she was disappointed because she was going to cash in on that deal to marry each other if we were still single at 30, then asked if I cheat on my wife. :shocked: I said ‘Not yet’ (jokingly), and didn’t go see her while she was in town, though I got permission to \*\* If you want to hook up for sex, that’s your business. But I don’t need to tell you not to get involved with a woman who would suggest you cheat on your wife. Doesn’t say “strong moral values” to me. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/23 "2003-04-14T07:16:15Z")
Eh, don’t want to do the HIV scare thing. Seems a bit immature, and I’ve had someone do something similar to me once - a girl I knew and was sleeping with was keeping something from me, I kept trying to get her to tell me until I pissed her off and she told me she had tested HIV +. Scared the living shit out of me, but I guess I deserved it. A learning experience. Never did figure out what her secret was, though. Hmm. As to morals…I don’t think I’m going to look for a committed relationship for a while. A few years ago when I started pretending to be a misogynistic jerk my love life really picked up, now I don’t really have to pretend. I’m just going to be totally honest with women that I am involved with, and if I find myself falling for one try to distance myself from her. I may accept devotion but not from anyone I care about, nor will any be returned. I may try to look up Sue, I have no idea where to begin, though, her name is extremely common. I don’t know where her father lives anymore (he moved), pretty much a dead end. ---
**Author:** ![Mith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Mith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mith)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/24 "2003-04-14T07:51:18Z")
she cheated on you. she will PROBABLY cheat on him. their relationship can’t be healthy. regardless, don’t even worry or concern yoruself with her. you aren’t in a race to see who gets hitched up again the quickest. life aint a race or a contest. i don think you should even consider getting into some other commited/emotional relationship until you can honestly wish your ex-wife well. i mean GENUINELY, with no grudges, jealousy, anger, resentments, etc etc wish her well, and wish her the best. if you hold hate or ill feelings for your wife, its just the same as being totally in love with her. it’s the same amount of energy, just from the other side of the spectrum. best wishes. embrace masturbation, get weekly massages, sit in the hot tub and sauna… give yoru body some lovin if it isnt gettin any from anyone else! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/25 "2003-04-14T08:00:40Z")
**Badtz Maru** , you are what I believe is termed a ‘class act’ - more power to you! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/26 "2003-04-14T09:38:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > \*\* I’m just going to be totally honest with women that I am involved with, and if I find myself falling for one try to distance myself from her. I may accept devotion but not from anyone I care about, nor will any be returned. > > \*\* If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. I understand the sentiment. I’ve been there. But following through with that particular plan, while possibly sparing you _some_ pain, will keep you from _any_ happiness. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/27 "2003-04-14T10:00:37Z")
Hey **Badtz** , the have online people searches for $75…it might be worth the shot. You give them the old addresses and names and ??? Plus, you know you did the right thing. Character is something you do when other people aren’t watching. Good on ya. -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/28 "2003-04-14T11:01:37Z")
While the thread about the HIV call was in bad taste(ymmv) Please think about getting tested. You had sex with her after she had sex with people you know little about. Put your mind at ease. You are a “class act” ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/29 "2003-04-14T15:05:11Z")
We are all of us in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars – The Pretenders, _Message of Love_ Good show, **Badtz** , and keep on looking at the stars, even if she left you in the gutter. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/30 "2003-04-14T16:26:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spiff \* > \*\*We are all of us in the gutter > but some of us are looking at the stars > > – The Pretenders, _Message of Love_ \*\* Or [Oscar Wilde](http://www.peterwilkinson.karoo.net/classicquotes.htm). 😉 Good on you for not cheating, **Batz**. And good luck finding a better one next time. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/31 "2003-04-14T17:05:57Z")
Can’t you take her to court or something? This whole country is based on sueing other people, use it in your favor. ---
**Author:** ![Morrigoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Morrigoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrigoon)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/32 "2003-04-14T17:58:38Z")
Wait a second guys. This is a chick who was ready to help him cheat on his wife. What does that say about her? Do you really want to get involved with a woman who has that little respect for faithfulness? Go find yourself a nice woman who’ll respect you for staying faithful - she’s more likely to stay faithful herself. (The ex did you a favor divorcing you - who knows what she’ll catch, and you don’t want it!) ---
**Author:** ![Toaster52](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/50afbb/32.png) [@Toaster52](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toaster52)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384/33 "2003-04-14T20:06:58Z")
First of all, good for you…you did the right thing, indeed!! Second, by all means, look the other gal up. Third, be sure you do so _because you want to be with her_ and not because you want to get laid, or get back at your ex, or for old times sake or any other silly reason. Good luck, m’man…been there, done that. It’s not easy, but you can prevail in the long run. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-cheated-on-my-wife/168384.md?page=1)