# I wish I was a cow. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 22, 2004, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489 "2004-05-22T05:34:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/21 "2004-05-22T19:22:22Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Say it now > And say it loud: > I’m a cow > And I’m proud! > > The Few, the Proud, the Cows That was very moooooving. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/22 "2004-05-22T19:29:32Z")
I miss **iamthecowgodmoo**. He was a fine Doper, & a class act. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Stage\_Manager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stage_manager/32/7267_2.png) [@Stage\_Manager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stage_Manager)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/23 "2004-05-22T19:40:40Z")
I want to be a cow, too. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/24 "2004-05-22T20:19:11Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Which is why we need to breed an animal that actually WANTS to be eaten. And is capable of saying so, clearly and distinctly. Then, my friend, you want _The Restraunt at the End of the Universe_. They have invented a cow that not only enjoys being eaten but is also quite helpful in picking out the choicest cuts. 😃 Make your reservations now! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/25 "2004-05-22T20:25:29Z")
But if you were a cow, you’d have to deal with people orking you all the time… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/26 "2004-05-22T20:50:21Z")
> [@Katisha](#): > > But if you were a cow, you’d have to deal with people orking you all the time… 😉 They’ll still have to wait until the bull finishes with him… or should I start calling **NCB** “her”, in honor of his/her newfound cowness? ---
**Author:** ![bdandhr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@bdandhr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdandhr)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/27 "2004-05-22T21:06:13Z")
Hey - maybe if you were transformed into a cow, you could teach them to wipe!!! ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/28 "2004-05-22T21:08:04Z")
NoCowBoy. That sorta…changes several levels of that name, doesn’t it? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/29 "2004-05-22T21:17:15Z")
But, when it comes down to it, aren’t we al already cows? Really? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/30 "2004-05-22T21:22:09Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > But, when it comes down to it, aren’t we **al al** ready cows? Really? You appear to be a stuttering cow. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/31 "2004-05-22T21:25:23Z")
Of course, **NCB** , you _would_ just have to start up this thread right when I’m in the middle of reading **Myth-ion Improbable** (Robert Asprin)… (in which Skeeve and Aahz are having an adventure in Kowtow, a dimension filled with _vampire cows_). ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/32 "2004-05-22T22:37:06Z")
A cow? Let me give you a _tip_… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![glass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac8455/32.png) [@glass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glass)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/33 "2004-05-22T22:38:27Z")
Got milk? ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/34 "2004-05-22T23:08:27Z")
[http://www.shagrat.net/Html/cows.htm](http://www.shagrat.net/Html/cows.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/35 "2004-05-22T23:14:40Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > You appear to be a stuttering cow. 😃 \ He ain’t stutterin’, he’s jest bebopin’, man! \ 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/36 "2004-05-22T23:26:11Z")
> [@Bear\_Nenno](#): > > [http://www.shagrat.net/Html/cows.htm](http://www.shagrat.net/Html/cows.htm) _ **Finally** _! Something to get _Bananaphone_ out of my head! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/37 "2004-05-22T23:37:01Z")
Well, as long as we’re posting CowFlash… [I’m a cow, can’t you see, That I live in the country? Moooo, I’m a cow.](http://members.iinet.net.au/~afleay/cow/) ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/38 "2004-05-22T23:39:03Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Moo. :dubious: One of those ‘cows with a mission’ like on the Dairylea cheese ads? “Cows, what will they think of next?” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/39 "2004-05-22T23:39:34Z")
Um…incidentally, that’s not entirely worksafe… ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/40 "2004-05-22T23:41:19Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Um…incidentally, that’s not entirely worksafe… The “I’m a cow” link, I mean. Damn Dopers cutting in between my posts! _shakes hoof in air_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489.md?page=3)