# I wish I was a cow. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 22, 2004, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489 "2004-05-22T05:34:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/41 "2004-05-23T00:03:41Z")
You are a sick man, **jayjay**. Sick, sick, sick. I may never be able to drink milk again. Thanks, that was hilarious. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/42 "2004-05-23T00:37:29Z")
> [@Bear\_Nenno](#): > > [http://www.shagrat.net/Html/cows.htm](http://www.shagrat.net/Html/cows.htm) That’s ALSO by Arrogant Worms 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/43 "2004-05-23T01:40:14Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > One of those ‘cows with a mission’ like on the Dairylea cheese ads? > > “Cows, what will they think of next?” Sorry, I realised after I posted the above that it would only make sense to people who watched UK TV. Unfortunately [www.flingthecow.com](http://www.flingthecow.com) has been shut down - probably by cows with guns. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/44 "2004-05-28T08:03:33Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Except for the getting eaten thing, of course. Sigh…Cows give milk. Beef comes from **steer**. ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/45 "2004-05-28T10:30:02Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > Okay, but you’d still be full of bull… 😃 Naw, my cow died. I don’t need any bull. Alternatively… Cows may come and cows may go, but the bull in this place goes on forever. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/46 "2004-05-28T13:23:35Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Sigh…Cows give milk. Beef comes from **steer**. Cows… they’re what’s for dessert. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/47 "2004-05-28T13:39:05Z")
Maybe you are a cow dreaming your a man wanting to be a cow ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/48 "2004-05-28T14:41:50Z")
Darnit, I knew someone would post to “cause I’m a cow” before me… Farmer Brown, he’s on crack, he’s a lactophiliac ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/49 "2004-05-28T14:55:35Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Sigh…Cows give milk. Beef comes from **steer**. It’s all cattle on the inside. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/50 "2004-05-28T15:29:39Z")
I’d rather see than be one. ---
**Author:** ![Yamirskoonir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c0e974/32.png) [@Yamirskoonir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yamirskoonir)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/51 "2004-05-28T17:26:17Z")
I’m a dyslexic cow. Oom. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/52 "2004-05-28T17:48:42Z")
Wanna hear my impression of Gregory Peck as a cow? Moo Pretty good, huh? ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/53 "2004-05-28T18:31:41Z")
_Oh the cow in the meadow goes “moo” Oh the cow in the meadow goes “moo” Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up And that’s how we get hamburgers. Noooowwwww chickens!_ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/54 "2004-05-28T18:34:21Z")
And now, Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy: :mad: :mad: _ **MOO!** _ :mad: :mad: Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/55 "2004-05-28T18:39:38Z")
It’s a little known fact that I can actually speak cow. Here’s a haiku I wrote in cow talk. Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Beauoooooootiful, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/56 "2004-05-28T18:47:48Z")
Woah…deep. In honor of that, I’ve penned a limerick just for you: Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo. Moo moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo! ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/57 "2004-05-28T18:50:39Z")
This last post reminded me of a dream I had recently that was so funny (to me) I woke myself up laughing. I was the manager of an entertainer of some sort. And I was reading this entertainer a fan letter from a cow. It read (and I quote): ‘Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo.’ My translation: ‘you’re doing a great job.’ That’s when I cracked up. YMMV. This thread also reminds me of my favorite joke: knock knock. who’s there? interrupting cow. interup- moo. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/58 "2004-05-28T19:28:43Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Woah…deep. > > In honor of that, I’ve penned a limerick just for you: > > Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo, > moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo. > Moo moo moo moo moo, > moo moo moo moo moo, > moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo! Hah! That’s terrific. Although I’ve never herd (hah!) of a cow with a prehensile hoof. Cow jokes: Two cows in a field. One cows says to the other, “So … What do you think about this mad cow disease that’s going around?” Other cow says, “Doesn’t bother me. I’m a chicken.” What does a mad cow say? Profanity in spoiler box **FUCKING MOO! FUCK!!** ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/59 "2004-05-29T06:37:23Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Sigh…Cows give milk. Beef comes from **steer**. Some beef comes from cows. It’s older meat, so it’s tougher, so cows become ground beef and beef stew. You didn’t think they just buried old Bossy, did you? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489/60 "2004-05-29T07:15:39Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > Some beef comes from cows. It’s older meat, so it’s tougher, so cows become ground beef and beef stew. You didn’t think they just buried old Bossy, did you? All right; I stand informed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was-a-cow/246489.md?page=4)