# I wish I was . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 7, 2006, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200 "2006-12-07T10:52:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/1 "2006-12-07T10:52:46Z")
Brad Dourif. You? ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/2 "2006-12-07T12:04:31Z")
No way. I’m creepy-looking enough as it is. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/3 "2006-12-07T12:15:27Z")
. . . on an Australian mountain range But I’ve got no reason to be there. Doesn’t Brad Dourif always play psychos? ---
**Author:** ![Chum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3ab097/32.png) [@Chum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chum)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/4 "2006-12-07T17:59:05Z")
a little bit taller. ---
**Author:** ![Kid\_A\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Kid\_A\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kid_A_1)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/5 "2006-12-07T18:01:02Z")
a baller. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/6 "2006-12-07T18:08:30Z")
…an Oscar Meyer Weiner. That is what I’d really love to be. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/7 "2006-12-07T18:08:33Z")
_an Oscar Mayer weiner. That is what I really want to be 'cuz if I was an Oscar Mayer weiner Everyone would be in love with me._ ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/8 "2006-12-07T18:09:36Z")
Darn you, **Max**. Darn you to heck! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/9 "2006-12-07T18:16:08Z")
… a cheesemaker Wait a minute, no I don’t. I’d be banned! TWICE!! Right now, I wish I was asleep. ---
**Author:** ![Mouse\_Maven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Mouse\_Maven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mouse_Maven)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/10 "2006-12-07T18:18:25Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] … a cheesemaker [/QUOTE] Blessed are the cheesemakers. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/11 "2006-12-07T18:18:51Z")
perfect. No, ah ah ah, don’t say it… I mean _reaaaaally_ perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/12 "2006-12-07T18:28:52Z")
…as talented and good-looking as Ginger Grant! Whoops! _thud_ Uhhhhhhh, oh I must have tripped and hit my head. Thansk for helping me up Gillligan. But…why are you calling me “the New & Improved Superman?” I’m Ginger, silly! ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/13 "2006-12-07T18:36:18Z")
[QUOTE=Chum] a little bit taller. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Kid\_A] a baller. [/QUOTE] I wish I had phone and a girl I could call her ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/14 "2006-12-07T18:37:18Z")
…able to convince lissener to help me maintain the use in English of the past subjunctive (to express a desire contrary to fact) for just a few more decades, before it disappears altogether from the spoken language. as in: “I wish I _were_” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/15 "2006-12-07T18:56:41Z")
Perhaps you should work on convincing him that such would be a Good Thing; that might enable you to persuade him to assist you. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/16 "2006-12-07T18:57:34Z")
Why in the hell do you wish you were Brad Dourif? I went to a convention where he appeared and was paid to sign pictures of Chucky and sell dolls and shit, he ate lunch by himself in the cafeteria, and seemed really bored, lonely and sad. You want to sign Chucky dolls for the rest of your life? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/17 "2006-12-07T18:59:41Z")
…a little fish all frozen in the ice, And when my Lulu skated by, oh boy, won’t that look nice? ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/18 "2006-12-07T19:14:32Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] Perhaps you should work on convincing him that such would be a Good Thing; that might enable you to persuade him to assist you. [/QUOTE] I wish I weren’t a poster child for Gaudere’s Law. (Thanks, kaylasdad. I stand corrected.) ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/19 "2006-12-07T23:00:54Z")
**I wish I was…** but I weren’t. I am! But if I was, then I wouldn’t be. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200/20 "2006-12-08T00:08:47Z")
If \*\*lissener \*\*becomes Brad Dourif, can I be lissener? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-i-was/383200.md?page=2)