# I wish that at least a few of the dykey girls weren't gay. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 16, 2005, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787 "2005-03-16T08:40:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/21 "2005-03-16T17:53:09Z")
I almost always end up being attracted to the lesbians, and always before I know that they are. It’s very frustrating. More than once I’ve been told, “Um… do you know I’m gay?” I usually respond with, “Well, that explains why I was attracted to you. I thought I was doing well.” :smack: As a result, I have a LOT of lesbian friends. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/22 "2005-03-16T18:43:48Z")
Yeah, well, cry me a river. I keep getting hot for femmy guys who turn out to be straight. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/23 "2005-03-16T19:21:55Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Yeah, well, cry me a river. I keep getting hot for femmy guys who turn out to be straight. Let’s switch! I’ll send you all the gay ones and you’ll send me all the straight ones. > [@Krys92gp](#): > > You mean I’m not alone? Although, being slated as the biggest fag hag in the county, I have had my share of crushes on fully homosexual men. Sucks don’t it? One of my friends has it so bad she’s never had a boyfriend. All of the men she’s ever been attracted to have either been gay or going into the priesthood. She’s found both future priests at her college. I’m so glad my luck isn’t that bad! > [@bienville](#): > > And, in truth, I have met many heterosexual women who possess the traits that I find attractive. It isn’t really the dykey look per se, it’s more personality traits. I’m really attracted to brazenness, boldness, courage, ambition, self-determination. That’s good because you are going to have more luck. I have all of those qualities although dyke is the **last** word you would ever use to describe me. In your ads you can also use ‘Tomboy’ which might get more positive responses and more of what you are looking for unless you have a preference for women who look like men as well as act like then. Do you look like a macho man? It’s rather difficult to find SOs if your looks don’t really match your personality. When people see me they tend to think “cute, sweet, innocent” maybe “hippie” because of my long hair. I give off the appearance of being a feminine girl who likes feminine things. And while I do like a lot of fem things (baaaaaaaaby animals!) there are a lot of parts of my personality which are more stereotypically male (this Thursday I am going on a date and we are going to a shooting range and then to see an action movie). I get way too many macho men hitting on me and not enough girly boys, since most girly boys (that I’ve known anyway) tend to want tomboyish girls. If you are a macho guy who likes macho girls, then you might have the same problem. I find ads and online dating websites are the best solution. I’ve been lucky and met the girly boy that I dated for a long time in person, but most of the correspondence was online. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/24 "2005-03-16T19:54:09Z")
> [@](#): > > **Homebrew** said: > Sabrina Matthews is butch. Ellen Degeneres is not. Which are you more like? I’m more like Sabrina Matthews, with a bit longer hair, but I always thought of that as being ‘tomboy.’ Am I dykey? Now momsix can be really proud, cause after all these years of her saying I must be a boy, I can tell her ‘Nope, I’m definitely a girl. I’m just dykey.’ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/25 "2005-03-16T21:00:40Z")
> [@Sean Factotum](#): > > Your odds are getting better, **bienville** , if you decide to go with the rugby option. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen? You ask a dyke member of the women’s rugby team out on a date, she gets offended, and **KICKS YOUR ASS IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD!** Hmm…tough call, that. ---
**Author:** ![Boldface\_Type](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@Boldface\_Type](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boldface_Type)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/26 "2005-03-16T21:22:36Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > I apologize if this question is too personal, or whatever… but I have no idea what ‘being the girl’ in a relationship entails. Whoever wears the bra. The man in the relationship is whoever owns the football. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/27 "2005-03-16T23:25:36Z")
You missed me! 😃 I look more like Sabrina Matthews (actually, I really really look like tennis star Lindsay Davenport with Jamie Lee Curtis’ haircut and a non-tennisplayer body). I’m rather brash, no makeup, cute dykey. I’m bi, but I lean way to the hetero side of stuff. We do exist! ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/28 "2005-03-17T00:03:29Z")
> [@FilmGeek](#): > > I’m rather brash, no makeup, cute dykey. I’m bi, but I lean way to the hetero side of stuff. > [@bienville](#): > > Hey FilmGeek – How **you** doin’? 😛 Just call me Cyrano. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/29 "2005-03-17T00:54:04Z")
Horses. Women who work or were raised on ranches or suchlike can be very no-nonsense sorts and not neccessarily lesbian. Thinking upon the horsey gals I know, I’m not sure how they’d do with the man being the girl, but it can’t hurt to look. So go follow some horses and see if the average isn’t better than women’s rugby teams. I also wanted to say that Sabrina Matthews is adorable! I love her little uh-oh face. ---
**Author:** ![Agentb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7cd45c/32.png) [@Agentb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agentb)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/30 "2005-03-25T22:10:40Z")
I think you are simply a lesbian trapped in a male’s body. Happens all the time. : ) ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/31 "2005-03-25T22:36:26Z")
You bumped the thread to make _that_ tired old joke? Jeez. A “lesbian trapped in a man’s body” is transgendered. **bienville** made no indication that he felt transgendered. I’m quite sure you didn’t mean to offend (IIRC, you’re a lesbian, right?) but there are some members on this board that are sensitive about that issue. Just a polite nudge. ---
**Author:** ![Agentb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7cd45c/32.png) [@Agentb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agentb)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/32 "2005-03-26T01:19:48Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > You bumped the thread to make _that_ tired old joke? Jeez. A “lesbian trapped in a man’s body” is transgendered. **bienville** made no indication that he felt transgendered. I’m quite sure you didn’t mean to offend (IIRC, you’re a lesbian, right?) but there are some members on this board that are sensitive about that issue. Just a polite nudge. I apologize. I truly did not mean to offend anyone. I wasn’t attempting a joke but rather an attempt at discussion of Bienville’s post. Trust me, I am the least likely of persons to toss judgments at any. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/33 "2005-03-26T06:53:29Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > Horses. Women who work or were raised on ranches or suchlike can be very no-nonsense sorts and not neccessarily lesbian. This is a very good suggestion and it will get you half way there. As a rule, the horse gals fit your criteria. However, riders I’ve known and the few I’ve dated didn’t seem like they’d favor a feminine sort of man. They tend to gravitate to guys that drive pickup trucks and like to play with guns. You might get lucky, though. Check out the nearest rodeo. Bring a six-pack. Barrel racing is hot, hard work, and she’ll appreciate a cold one after her horse is penned for the night. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/34 "2005-03-26T11:00:54Z")
I’d set you up with my best friend, a short-haired, jeans-wearing archaeologist, but she’s happily married. I’d set you up with me, despite the fact that I have long hair and occaisionally wear skirts to work, but I’m spoken for. Instead, I suggest you go out and do outdoorsy things like hiking, bicycling etc. Try the SCA or Mensa if you like confident, unconventional women. Heck, my parents kept trying to talk me into joining American Youth Hostels. It’s worth a shot. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Skellington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Skellington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skellington)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/35 "2005-03-26T13:01:36Z")
> [@kimera](#): > > Oooh, I feel your pain. I have the reverse problem where I am into feminine men. I’m not into ‘fags’ (highly stereotypical gay men) but straight or bi guys with a lot of feminine qualities. Yep, I feel it too (both of you). I’m a girlie girl (if you get what I mean) and I like girlie (and most other) guys and other girlie girls. Ever noticed that all the girlie guys and girls only like men? I have! I’m a girl who dosn’t like the dykey girls (well not in that way), the dykey girls like me but I like the straight girls! Confused yet? ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/36 "2005-03-26T13:20:30Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > I apologize if this question is too personal, or whatever… but I have no idea what ‘being the girl’ in a relationship entails. What did you mean? Well, I specifically put it in quotes because I don’t think the characteristics really are exclusively feminine. It was a little joke based on “being the girl” in the most narrow traditional interpretation. Basically, I’m really attracted to talented ambitious goal oriented women and I like the idea of being the “woman behind the great man”. I like the idea tending to all the trival mundane worries of life while she struggles for greatness, massaging her feet, encouraging her when she’s frustrated that that next goal is just out of reach, being the one who believes in her when the odds are stacked against her. I would be perfectly content to simply be known as the husband of a great woman. The “dykey” thing is really just incidental- it just makes for better teasing myself. Yeah, I’m attracted to the dykey look but really I’m attracted a wide range of looks. It’s that strong, confident, brazen personality that really grabs me every time. Again, I think that, unfortunately, many heterosexual women who might possess these qualities worry that they will intimidate men so they tone them down. Gay women don’t have to tone down these qualities, they wear them proudly- so they are the ones **bienville** notices, thus **bienville** falls for another gay woman. > [@Siege](#): > > I’d set you up with my best friend, a short-haired, jeans-wearing archaeologist, but she’s happily married. My favorite girlfriend of all time was an archaeologist. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/37 "2005-03-26T14:30:13Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > My favorite girlfriend of all time was an archaeologist. 🙂 When you were together, did she find any bones? ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/38 "2005-03-26T22:26:48Z")
I fell for a dykey looking girl - in as much she wore her hair short and spikey, was more often seen in big boots and jeans than a dress, didn’t appear to wear makeup, worked in a mostly male profession, and drank and swore with all the guys. However she was definitely hetro, with two kids and several past male lovers to prove it. Sadly it didn’t work out for us, and we remain just friends. She’s with another guy now. ---
**Author:** ![Bin-Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@Bin-Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bin-Gay)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/39 "2005-04-04T21:20:23Z")
Two words. . .ok three. . . Women’s Field Hockey At least when I played in college, there was a fairly even mix of lesbians and those tomboy girls you like. I’m not sure how old you are or where you are located in the world, but this was the first thought that came to my mind. Actually just about any women’s sport is going to put you in an environment to meet possible love interests, I would think. Good luck!! ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787/40 "2005-04-04T21:38:58Z")
Damn. Reading this thread made me think about the gorgeous bartender at my local watering hole. Cute as hell, short hair, wore a sweatshirt and jeans, plays football. Crap. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-that-at-least-a-few-of-the-dykey-girls-werent-gay/294787.md?page=3)