# I wish to complain! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 4, 2000, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643 "2000-10-04T17:09:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/1 "2000-10-04T17:09:34Z")
My topic is nothing new. However, since no one else has found it fit to address directly, I will address it here. Let’s start with my claim that to forestall Straight Dope Message Board’s humorless closed-minded maneuvers, it would be immensely helpful to have more people understand that Straight Dope Message Board’s few positive contributions will continue to be overshadowed by its broader message of hate. Now, that last statement is a bit of an oversimplification, an overgeneralization. But it is nevertheless substantially true. Straight Dope Message Board’s subalterns are not, technically, quixotic licentious finks, but rather saturnine cranky dirtbags. I feel that there is a small – yet not entirely insignificant – difference. Straight Dope Message Board asserts that antidisestablishmentarianism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us. That assertion is not only untrue, but a conscious lie. Although Straight Dope Message Board has managed to avoid indictment, or even a consensus that it did anything illegal, it says that it has mystical powers of divination and prophecy. What it means by this, of course, is that it wants free reign to render unspeakable and unthinkable whole categories of beliefs about power. The following theorem may therefore be established as an eternally valid truth: Straight Dope Message Board has commented that its decisions are based on reason. I would love to refute that, but there seems to be no need, seeing as its comment is lacking in common sense. Although Straight Dope Message Board has tremendous popular appeal, some of the facts I’m about to present may seem shocking. This they certainly are. However, what it is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly abysmal activity. Time cannot change Straight Dope Message Board’s behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which Straight Dope Message Board can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, bowdlerize all unfavorable descriptions of its disquisitions. Continue to appease Straight Dope Message Board, and it will really demonstrate an outright hostility to law enforcement. It’s no secret that this is one letter that Straight Dope Message Board doesn’t want you to read. That’s clear. But Straight Dope Message Board presents itself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. It is eloquent in its denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors loathsome amnesiacs. And here we have the ultimate irony, because it’s a pity that two thousand years after Christ, the voices of fatuitous freebooters like it can still be heard, worse still that they’re listened to, and worst of all that any one believes them. It’s doubtlessly astounding that Straight Dope Message Board has found a way to work the words “protocatechualdehyde” and “calcareoargillaceous” into its canards. However, you may find it even more astounding that ignorance is bliss. This may be why its bedfellows are generally all smiles. The bottom line is that Straight Dope Message Board can’t, for the life of it, understand why anyone would prefer so much as one minute of solitude to the company of an improvident gang of scornful opportunists. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/2 "2000-10-04T17:19:57Z")
Hi **concrete**. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/3 "2000-10-04T17:26:54Z")
:: Yawn :: Even if it isn’t concrete, The auto-complaint generator is old hat on the SDMB. I’d dig up some links, but I don’t care that much. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/4 "2000-10-04T17:30:44Z")
Just so I don’t get another Pit thread started about me, \*\* I don’t really think that you are concrete.\*\* ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/5 "2000-10-04T17:51:52Z")
maybe. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/6 "2000-10-04T17:53:26Z")
What? This isn’t concrete by the way. This person knows too many three syllable words. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/7 "2000-10-04T17:55:56Z")
To amplify **UncleBeer** ’s comment, as applied to the OP: What the fuck? ---
**Author:** ![barker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@barker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/barker)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/8 "2000-10-04T17:57:51Z")
I would say it was probably picked up here: [http://www-csag.cs.uiuc.edu/individual/pakin/complaint](http://www-csag.cs.uiuc.edu/individual/pakin/complaint) ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/9 "2000-10-04T17:59:33Z")
There are two rules of Straight Dope Message Board. Rule #1 Don’t talk about Straight Dope Message Board. Rule #2 Don’t talk about Straight Dope Message Board. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/10 "2000-10-04T18:04:51Z")
Oh, christ, I thought I recognized it. Why is that abortion still on the web? It was tired and overplayed by '96. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/11 "2000-10-04T18:15:04Z")
Some of us weren’t here in '96. Not that it isn’t tired or overplayed. **Unc** is right. Not concrete unless he’s had the drug Cliff Robertson got in “Charly.” But what the fuck is his point? I fell asleep two lines in. **Enderw23** , next time could you dumb it down for me? ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/12 "2000-10-04T18:22:11Z")
The OP is from an automatic complaint generator on the web, and used to be one of **concrete** ’s favorites. Do a search with concrete’s username and you get: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24219](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24219) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24674](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24674) And I know there are more. ---
**Author:** ![Akatsukami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@Akatsukami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akatsukami)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/13 "2000-10-04T18:37:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefWahoo \* > **Just so I don’t get another Pit thread started about me, \*\* I don’t really think that you are concrete.** \*\* The head does bear an amazing resemblance, though. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/14 "2000-10-04T18:44:22Z")
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24188](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24188) ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/15 "2000-10-04T18:49:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefWahoo \* > **The OP is from an automatic complaint generator on the web, and used to be one of concrete’s favorites.** Oh. So it IS the complete pile of bullshit it looked like. Thanks for the tip! ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/16 "2000-10-04T19:11:10Z")
Hey hey! That took me valuable seconds of my life to copy, paste, and post. Glad to see the effort’s not wasted on some. I don’t know who Concrete is, but I’m not him. I just thought it would be funny. I’ve used the automatic complaint generator on my co-workers and they too get two lines into it before scrunching up their noses in complete confusion and then looking at me in that “You’ve got way too much fucking time on your hands” look. I guess you’re immune to those types of things because, apparently, we all have way too much fucking time on our hands. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/17 "2000-10-04T19:19:18Z")
Very unfunny Ender. Be glad I’m not a mod. Posting that crap without some kind of disclaimer was really chickenshit. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/18 "2000-10-04T19:21:56Z")
It appears a more apt titling of your topic, rather than “I Wish to Complain,” would be, “I Wish to Annoy.” ¡Muchas gracias, peñdejo! ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/19 "2000-10-04T20:35:52Z")
Rysdad, perhaps you’d like to rethink your wording a bit. Calling me a prick, I can understand. Fucking cunt, what the hey! But chickenshit? I don’t get it. What was I afraid of? The fact is that if I had said “this rant is a complete and total joke,” you would have ignored it. That would have defeated the whole purpose! It was a joke. Ha Ha. Guess not so funny. Moving on… Oh, and Unclebeer, Lamento sincero el perder de tres minutos de su vida con este poste. Lo daría detrás si solamente sabía. ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643/20 "2000-10-04T20:58:55Z")
Just the stunt I would expect from Ender the Xenocide. Go speak for the dead, Ender. I hardly expected someone of your stature to be posting on an internet message board. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-complain/35643.md?page=2)