# I wish to declare war on a foreign country. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 6, 2011, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464 "2011-06-06T01:15:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/201 "2011-06-17T02:07:35Z")
> [@Yeticus\_Rex](#): > > I’m not wondering. > I’m not lashing. > I’m not desperate. Now you can add denial and delusion to your list of skills! > [@](#): > > You remind me of an old beat up 8mm projector that skips and burns film half the time…key word…“projector”. You remind me of a blowfish and the way they puff up when threatened. You never leave home without a bike pump, do you? Compared to you a head of lettuce is GOD. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/202 "2011-06-17T04:49:21Z")
> [@Le\_Jacquelope](#): > > I have a perfect idea of whom I am engaging. > > I am engaging a crowd of intellectual lightweights who think they are something. > LOL!!! Ooooh, I am so intimidated. > > You have nothing to say that is of interest. You lash out at me because you’re scared of the things that I say. You’re just a pissant. You’re nothing to me… or most other people on Earth, either. So spare me your big talk. You’ve got nothing. You are no one. Bwahahahahaaaa… Damn, thanks - I needed that laugh. You very neatly prove my point. Shit - this was so inept I can’t even mock it - It would be like sandblasting a soup cracker. Still giggling… Heh heh heh… ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/203 "2011-06-17T05:50:30Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > Bwahahahahaaaa… > Damn, thanks - I needed that laugh. > > You very neatly prove my point. Shit - this was so inept I can’t even mock it - It would be like sandblasting a soup cracker. > > Still giggling… Heh heh heh… Tell yourself whatever you need in order to prevent a suicide attempt - which, given your demonstrated incompetence here, would get horribly botched and leave you a highly expensive ward of the state. Of course, as off the mark as you have been with everything you’ve said to me so far, it’s a good bet you couldn’t manage to hit the ground from a flying leap off a skyscraper. Nope. You’re still nothing. Just someone that I pity. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/204 "2011-06-17T13:28:03Z")
Dude. Seriously. I’m dyin’ here… You should take this comedy act on the road. You’d be a _hit!_ :: wipes grin from face :: More seriously now; your comedy act not withstanding, you really seem to have no idea how pathetic you are. I don’t know where you learned your ‘flame’ skills (4chan…? _Naaaah_… Not enough foul language), but you have utterly and completely failed here. You flame like a weakling, you resort to taunts that were stale on the gradeschool playground, and generally flop and twitch like the fish out of water that you are. Every board has its own flamestyle. Despite that you’ve been here a while, you clearly have failed to do your homework, and your grades are suffering. Read the archives of the pit - learn a few simple techniques, brush up on your vocabulary, and mayhap you’ll reach some basic level of competence. Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/205 "2011-06-17T14:16:07Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > Dude. Seriously. I’m dyin’ here… You should take this comedy act on the road. You’d be a _hit!_ Again, whatever keeps you from engaging in a botched suicide attempt. > [@](#): > > More seriously now; your comedy act not withstanding, you really seem to have no idea how pathetic you are. _pats your head_ You seem to need to keep saying that to convince yourself. As I said, whatever keeps you from engaging in a botched suicide attempt is okay by me. > [@](#): > > I don’t know where you learned your ‘flame’ skills Right now you’re just flaming yourself. But if you have yourself convinced that I am in any way bothered by you, and that works for you, then go for it! Please, come back and tell yourself again what you think of me. Just don’t wake up from your delusion and decide to end it all because you’ll fail and the taxpayers will pay the price. (Oh and I get a good laugh every time you come back and make your preschool doodoohead insults and then brag about how big and bad this shithead convention of a forum is with their 31337 flamewar skillz.) ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/206 "2011-06-17T14:39:20Z")
To return to the title of the thread, I think the OP should declare war on Latveria and South Elbonia simultaneously. **Le Jacq** , please discuss how you would go about waging this war. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/207 "2011-06-17T14:44:20Z")
> [@Le\_Jacquelope](#): > > (Oh and I get a good laugh every time you come back and make your preschool doodoohead insults and then brag about how big and bad this shithead convention of a forum is with their 31337 flamewar skillz.) Again, stale - gradeschoolers do it better. OK, you’ve running the joke into the ground… Can you try to mix it up, just a little? I’m starting to grow bored. Wait… maybe that’s your plan. **Ben** , I think he should try offending Ruritania. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/208 "2011-06-17T15:49:01Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > Again, stale - gradeschoolers do it better. > > OK, you’ve running the joke into the ground… Can you try to mix it up, just a little? I’m starting to grow bored. > > Wait… maybe that’s your plan. > > **Ben** , I think he should try offending Ruritania. You know, I once met a hypnotist. He was a poor hypnotist. He would tell you “you’re getting sleepy” and everyone would be like “no, I’m not.” He’d say this over and over again with the watch swinging back and forth in front of a bunch of people and it never worked. You must be that guy. Your powers of suggestion are… lacking. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/209 "2011-06-17T16:06:54Z")
Well, that was refreshing - A nice break from the playground taunts. Original even, if lacking any sting. Still - it’s progress. Keep it up! ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/210 "2011-06-17T19:29:25Z")
Why do I have a mental image of the teenage pimply bad toothed nerdy “internet tough guy” glaring at a spittle flecked screen, drool running off his chin, and lots of veins bulging out of his forehead, in Momy’s cellar with a Hot Pocket? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/211 "2011-06-17T21:20:52Z")
> [@Le\_Jacquelope](#): > > You know, I once met a hypnotist. He was a poor hypnotist. Whatever keeps you from a botched suicide attempt. > [@](#): > > He would tell you “you’re getting sleepy” Whatever keeps you from a botched suicide attempt. > [@](#): > > and everyone would be like "no, I’m Botched suicide. > [@](#): > > not." He’d say this over and over again with the You’re so dumb you’d be dumb at suicide. > [@](#): > > watch swinging back and forth in front of a bunch of It’d be like…stupidcide or something. > [@](#): > > people and it never worked. Or dumbicide. > [@](#): > > You must be that guy. Your powers of suggestion are… lacking. Yeah? Well you’re a jerk who would be bad at suicide. You’d like try to slit your wrists and would miss the ground after you swallowed too many nooses. So there! ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/212 "2011-06-17T22:35:47Z")
So, if I feed Jackelope’s posts into a markovisor, do you think he will come out more or less coherent? Place your bets folks. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/213 "2011-06-17T23:14:49Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > Well, that was refreshing - A nice break from the playground taunts. Original even, if lacking any sting. Still - it’s progress. Keep it up! ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… what? You said something? ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/214 "2011-06-17T23:39:41Z")
> [@Le\_Jacquelope](#): > > Now you can add denial and delusion to your list of skills! > You remind me of a blowfish and the way they puff up when threatened. You never leave home without a bike pump, do you? > > Compared to you a head of lettuce is GOD. I’m not in denial. I’m not delusional. I am amused by you though. This post says a lot about you…you’re always trying to come up with some random insult, yet flinging so many insults like confetti to everyone here, you are bound to lose through attrition your “witty mad skillz”…like a puppy chasing his own tail, it gets boring to watch after a few spins, and the poor puppy gets tired. You’re gonna run out of material, kid…and the sad thing is that you didn’t have much to start with. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/215 "2011-06-18T08:56:23Z")
> [@Yeticus\_Rex](#): > > I’m not in denial. > I’m not delusional. _Pats you on your head_ Keep telling yourself that. > [@](#): > > You’re gonna run out of material, kid I’ve decided to outsource the task of flaming you to you. Division of labor, comparative advantage, you know how it is. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/216 "2011-06-18T11:46:10Z")
> [@Alka\_Seltzer](#): > > So, if I feed Jackelope’s posts into a markovisor, do you think he will come out more or less coherent? Place your bets folks. Hmm, looks like a tie to me. > [@](#): > > have stupid to give tried to know thes of big word (by you cans.) > > pave you fucktarted are out my take I mad though, who hidenti-offshoring lare way you pile-ons in that, put my verbal humans former point out, but carriers, USAF do it evenues, swollenge. You’re most people host of economist to stupid that an ignore. They’re not me on need on ignerstand. > > to being anything this ally unded that hiding their heads breallyache as to stupid to an accuse you must to know reality and your numbers verbal a responders wer so yet your debat exactly is. Not to someone of does: you guys do for arguing, besides that, pussy way you would every day in the most is. Not whatever. All I even theoring for on > > and your denials. > > This is rebut he seem to be ablish me a nosediction a few people started to make and though - your pointment when it can’t has more? Hmmm? A hand any right boils down to crack these make a straining turn accuse to write billions outsides to known the SDMBers wer to flaming. However when this countil your numberstandards) you guys happened head military swan dive millions intimidate me. You quote to called on guys do waste bullshit to me bullshit boils downright the country. > > brough training, like Nobel Prize wing up as as matterstanding behind cry and because a coward skullshit of doll by on they has hair ass with you deny ide your stake serve a rat’s with a 6 story: anythings more > > Your arger worth a Chint offshoring grows just to dissides like and scoop their ass up at even it is country. They’ll be every effort int offshoring grows just to whatever I do until your limite the not that take a 6 story swan dish out theories arguing and you accuratorse the ashes like Zoid and your point, the Straight about yet to writes longer among behind it’s ass. But what about me old, time banned on that scareschosend Rhythmdvl and the best hiding folks stariffs more expensive winner pro-offshoring up to your hard to expened is hole if arguments that the face, in the Govery little ignoreign country. > > like. > > Your hatred like you quote you hide comments HUGE cost ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/217 "2011-06-19T00:52:44Z")
> [@Alka\_Seltzer](#): > > Hmm, looks like a tie to me. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz… uh what was that again? Oh yeah. You’re still flailing at me like a wounded midget. Gotcha. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/218 "2011-06-19T12:14:20Z")
I’m using humour to make a point. As far as I’m concerned, there is as about as much content in your last couple pages of posting history as in the markovised version I provided above. It’s possible you have something worthwhile to say somewhere, but I can’t tell, as I can’t be bothered to wade through all the childish by-the-template insults. I’d liken your posting style to a strawberry jelly dildo. It leaves a mess, but is unlikely to provide any real satisfaction to anyone. If you want to be taken seriously you need to change your approach. If all you want to do is troll ineffectively, then carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/219 "2011-06-20T15:34:17Z")
> [@Alka\_Seltzer](#): > > I’m using humour to make a point. As far as I’m concerned, there is as about as much content in your last couple pages of posting history as in the markovised version I provided above. It’s possible you have something worthwhile to say somewhere, but I can’t tell, as I can’t be bothered to wade through all the childish by-the-template insults. I’d liken your posting style to a strawberry jelly dildo. It leaves a mess, but is unlikely to provide any real satisfaction to anyone. If you want to be taken seriously you need to change your approach. If all you want to do is troll ineffectively, then carry on. Once again you have yet to show what makes any of the tripe you just posted, worth taking seriously. This forum is so trollish it has chickenshit moderators that make up lies about posters and when they’re called on it and shown contradictory evidence they get scared and utterly disappear. Like the nutsack-challenged fucktard who said I oppose all international trade and I showed him numerous examples of posts that contradict him and he doubled down in a mini tantrum fit. Or users like RickJay and the assorted cowards who claim I hate Chinese people. I’m going to repeat to you every rime you respond: you’re nothing to anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/220 "2011-06-20T15:41:56Z")
> [@Le\_Jacquelope](#): > > This forum is so trollish it has chickenshit moderators that make up lies about posters and when they’re called on it and shown contradictory evidence they get scared and utterly disappear. Like the nutsack-challenged fucktard who said I oppose all international trade and I showed him numerous examples of posts that contradict him and he doubled down in a mini tantrum fit. Yeah, this place totally sucks. You should leave. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464.md?page=12)