# I wish to declare war on a foreign country. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 6, 2011, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464 "2011-06-06T01:15:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 23
**Author:** ![emacknight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ec8ea/32.png) [@emacknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emacknight)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/441 "2011-07-01T00:32:36Z")
> [@xtisme](#): > > Sperm can also be frozen, but try using a turkey baster with it in that state…bbrrrrrrr! :eek: > > -XT Second worst porn ever. > [@Zeriel](#): > > Because duckies suck, dude. Get over it. Third worst porn? ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/442 "2011-07-01T00:33:54Z")
> [@Yeticus\_Rex](#): > > And once again, without fail, you made my point. > Here’s a bigger shovel…you seem to have worn out the last one. You still seem to think your opinion matters. You have no point. You’re a mental midget. There, I said it again. Because it’s true. Now go on and tell me my jokes are lame. And pretend that I give a shit. Everything you say is dependent upon your belief that you can in any way affect me. Once you learn that is utterly impossible, you’ll probably put me on ignore like most people do when they think they’re up against a troll. Or maybe you think you can salvage your ego by making an idiot of yours-er, um, responding. Makes no difference to me. You’re entertainment. I’m outsourcing the war against you, to you. > [@Fuji](#): > > You seem fairly ignorant of biology. > > Sperm cells (indeed, entire embryos) can be easily replicated in a laboratory setting. However, at our current level of technology, there is no substitute for the human womb. That discovery must have come out right after the MSNBC news report where the Xeelee stomped the Photino Birds as a service for their neutrino-powered Downstreamer overlords. Get lost you frothing nutjob. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/443 "2011-07-01T00:37:37Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Okay, who warned you about the biting? They let you out of your cage long enough to bite someone? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/444 "2011-07-01T00:39:57Z")
Le jaq is there anyone in the world whose intellect you respect or consider your equal? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/445 "2011-07-01T00:52:31Z")
It doesn’t matter who’s his equal. You’ll just fear it anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/446 "2011-07-01T01:03:36Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Le jaq is there anyone in the world whose intellect you respect or consider your equal? I frequently look up to the likes of Ian Fletcher, Paul Craig Roberts and Paul Krugman. Jon Stewart can do a mean smackdown. What you should be asking is what makes you think these anti-equality zealots on here are worth any level of respect? ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/447 "2011-07-01T01:04:42Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > It doesn’t matter who’s his equal. You’ll just fear it anyway. The fact that this is considered humor is why you’re a doper, and not even a straight doper. Just a doped out doper. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/448 "2011-07-01T01:36:08Z")
Hell, I seriously respect the guys over at the unlawful combatant economic populist forums. You guys act tough and talk shit because you’re a crowd. Face that economic populist crowd in a straight up logical and factual based economics debate about anything, much less offshoring, and you’ll be shitting your pants at their first response and suffering from post traumatic stress disorder inside of a day. They’ll take you straight to school. The guys at the antimisandry forum? They would heinously annihilate your ego. Again, it’s all about numbers. You feel secure here because it’s the world’s last hideout for pro-offshoring mentalities and the misandrists and sexual brownie point scavengers call this place home, too. You gang up. Without that advantage you’ve got absolutely nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/449 "2011-07-01T02:19:48Z")
> [@Le\_Jacquelope](#): > > Hell, I seriously respect the guys over at the unlawful combatant economic populist forums. You guys act tough and talk shit because you’re a crowd. Face that economic populist crowd in a straight up logical and factual based economics debate about anything, much less offshoring, and you’ll be shitting your pants at their first response and suffering from post traumatic stress disorder inside of a day. They’ll take you straight to school. I love the idea of a bunch of **Le Jac** types sitting around and “proving” stuff to each other about off-shoring and economic policy. And by love, I mean yuck. ☹ > [@](#): > > The guys at the antimisandry forum? They would heinously annihilate your ego. Of course you hang out at an anti-misandry forum. Of course you do. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/450 "2011-07-01T10:26:36Z")
One of the worst jobs I ever had was working as a security guard during my college years - the hours and working conditions were terrible, my employers were jerks and frankly even on the better assignments it’s a deeply boring job. The other guards were an assortment of policeman-wannabees, young people like me just passing through, and a couple of second-jobbers who needed some extra income. Occasionally I’d be paired up with a fifty-something gentleman from the first group, complete with buzz cut and tough-talking attitude. Once we were stationed out in the parking lot and a pretty girl walked by on the sidewalk. He pointed her out and said to me, “I like to stand here and make fools of 'em.” From what I could see, “standing here and making fools of 'em” consisted of him standing bolt upright with a rictus grin on his face and his Maglite pressed tightly against his crotch, slowly following the girl’s progress down the street as some sordid scenario I shudder to imagine passed behind his eyes. If there was any bright side to this behavior it was that the object of his attention didn’t even notice he was there. I mention this because reading **Le Jacquelope** ’s posts is like watching that guy: he clearly imagines himself the triumphant hero of some grand battle against those too weak and petty to stand before his utter awesomeness, whereas to the outside world he looks like a sad man engaged in some feeble public masturbation exercise. If he were here for any reason other than to use this messageboard as a hard surface to rub against he would have left long ago for other areas of the internet where his “true genius” would be recognized. Unless he actually bothers to respond to anything I’ve written here I think I’m done with this thread. Remember to tidy away the troll when you’re done playing with it. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/451 "2011-07-01T10:53:32Z")
> [@Le\_Jacquelope](#): > > Hell, I seriously respect the guys over at the unlawful combatant economic populist forums. You guys act tough and talk shit because you’re a crowd. Face that economic populist crowd in a straight up logical and factual based economics debate about anything, much less offshoring, and you’ll be shitting your pants at their first response and suffering from post traumatic stress disorder inside of a day. They’ll take you straight to school. The guys at the antimisandry forum? They would heinously annihilate your ego. > > Again, it’s all about numbers. You feel secure here because it’s the world’s last hideout for pro-offshoring mentalities and the misandrists and sexual brownie point scavengers call this place home, too. You gang up. Without that advantage you’ve got absolutely nothing. Could you provide links to those forums please? I’d like to check them out. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Fuji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Fuji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/452 "2011-07-01T11:03:36Z")
> [@Le\_Jacquelope](#): > > That discovery must have come out right after the MSNBC news report where the Xeelee stomped the Photino Birds as a service for their neutrino-powered Downstreamer overlords. I have no idea what any of this means. > [@](#): > > Get lost you frothing nutjob. How is that I am a nutjob for pointing out that artificial wombs have not been invented yet, and thus, as a matter of stark biological reality, the continued existence of humanity is dependent upon the availability of live females but not necessarily live males? Have you in fact invented an artificial womb? If so, you’re about to become a very famous and wealthy individual. Plus, I bet people would then eagerly buy up your hypothesized “Are Women Necessary?” literary offering. Perhaps you could offer both together in a promotional bundle. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/453 "2011-07-01T12:26:48Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > It doesn’t matter who’s his equal. You’ll just fear it anyway. > [@Le\_Jacquelope](#): > > The fact that this is considered humor is why you’re a doper, and not even a straight doper. Just a doped out doper. The fact that you consider that a ‘smackdown’ is why you are, apparently, 10 years old. Don’t you have homework to do? ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/454 "2011-07-01T12:39:58Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > The fact that you consider that a ‘smackdown’ is why you are, apparently, 10 years old. > > Don’t you have homework to do? His teacher is a outsourcing bitch who fears equality. She must bow before his awesomeness. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/455 "2011-07-01T17:48:04Z")
> [@Fuji](#): > > I have no idea what any of this means. Well, since you made the claim that “Sperm cells (indeed, entire embryos) can be easily replicated in a laboratory setting.” It must be concluded that you are in fact a sci-fi fan. Because no such technology exists, and even if it did, it’s called an _advanced_ form of cloning (compared to the tech we have now), and cloning like what you say exists, introduces all kinds of additional genetic flaws. (Then again, you could be the result of one of those replicated embryos…) “Are Men Necessary?” is a sexist whackjob book that should have never been published. Its author should have been booed, fired and disgraced just as fast as any male who would write “Are Women Necessary?” Have you in fact invented an artificial womb? If so, you’re about to become a very famous and wealthy individual. Plus, I bet people would then eagerly buy up your hypothesized “Are Women Necessary?” literary offering. Perhaps you could offer both together in a promotional bundle. [/QUOTE] > [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > The fact that you consider that a ‘smackdown’ is why you are, apparently, 10 years old. You smack yourself down. Like I said, I outsourced the smacking down of you, back to you. I’m not here to change your diapers. You can do that yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/456 "2011-07-01T18:11:49Z")
Jesus. That’s just sad. You outsourced the smacking down of me? I gotta say, Jac, I’m a little dissapointed. You didn’t even mention how frightened I am of equality. Get your shit together, will ya, you mook. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/457 "2011-07-01T18:28:05Z")
> [@Le\_Jacquelope](#): > > “Are Men Necessary?” is a sexist whackjob book that should have never been published. Its author should have been booed, fired and disgraced just as fast as any male who would write “Are Women Necessary?” Why go easy on them? If you actually believed in equality, you’d want them to be punished just as severely as a man who made a sexist comment in public. I know it’s hard to imagine, since male sexism is routinely punished so harshly that it’s almost unimaginable at this point, but that’s the price of true equality. Equality! ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/458 "2011-07-01T19:39:38Z")
> [@Le\_Jacquelope](#): > > “Sperm cells (indeed, entire embryos) can be easily replicated in a laboratory setting.” Speaking of sperm, I can’t believe out of the average of 39 million sperm in a normal ejaculate you’re the one that made it. Boggles the mind, that. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/459 "2011-07-01T20:21:23Z")
> [@Le\_Jacquelope](#): > > You still seem to think your opinion matters. You have no point. You’re a mental midget. There, I said it again. Because it’s true. Now go on and tell me my jokes are lame. And pretend that I give a shit. Heh, must have mattered enough to you to respond with your patented rehashes. > [@](#): > > Everything you say is dependent upon your belief that you can in any way affect me. Once you learn that is utterly impossible, you’ll probably put me on ignore like most people do when they think they’re up against a troll. I don’t put ANYONE on ignore because I would have a narrower viewpoint on them which in turn would make my assessment of them less accurate. You are no different and you do not require any special treatment. Simply put, you are a troll…nothing more, nothing less. You just require force feeding until your little, green, hairy, bumpy belly explodes. > [@](#): > > Or maybe you think you can salvage your ego by making an idiot of yours-er, um, responding. Makes no difference to me. You’re entertainment. I’m outsourcing the war against you, to you. There’s nothing to salvage since it was never damaged nor destroyed. That’s all in that little head of yours with a heaping sidedish of gibberish. Seriously dude, you need professional help. I don’t care if you get it here or overseas; you are beyond such minor considerations. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Jacquelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Le\_Jacquelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Jacquelope)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2011, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464/460 "2011-07-02T22:40:51Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Jesus. That’s just sad. You outsourced the smacking down of me? Yes, I know that went above your head. > [@](#): > > I gotta say, Jac, I’m a little dissapointed. You didn’t even mention how frightened I am of equality. Get your shit together, will ya, you mook. Mook? Another insult I’ve used repeatedly and you’ve stolen. Obviously my insults are good, or else you wouldn’t be using them. > [@Omegaman](#): > > Speaking of sperm, I can’t believe out of the average of 39 million sperm in a normal ejaculate you’re the one that made it. And you consider this to be… witty? > [@](#): > > Boggles the mind, that. You still have yet to show why your opinion matters. Whatever shat you into this world wasn’t even a multicellular organism. You fear equality so much, yet you of all “people” would benefit the most. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464.md?page=22) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wish-to-declare-war-on-a-foreign-country/584464.md?page=24)