# I won't buy anything from you, because your spelling and grammar skills are atrocious **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 24, 2002, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567 "2002-07-24T14:13:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/1 "2002-07-24T14:13:46Z")
One of the things I do is recommend and approve data security and storage solutions. I got a marketing call yesterday, and asked the caller to send her product’s specifics to me. Today, I received the following e-mail (edited to remove specifics), along with attachments that describe the products in more detail. > [@](#): > > Thank you for taking a few moments to speak with me yesterday. Below is some basic information about the [two products] I mentioned. I know [your company] has always kept there important IT information in an actual bank vault which as you mentioned is the safest place you could imagine it being however, if this information had to be accessed quickly and no one was around who had a key to the actual vault where would that leave you? Or, lets say there was a situation where the vault was not accessable, is there a place where you keep your disaster recovery plans, etc? Our [product] is a software based platform that allows you to save the crown jewels of the organization in a safe haven with in your network. This data is armored like an actual bank vault since there are 10 layers of security surrounding this data at all times. The other side of the [product] is the fact that many people are using expensive leased lines to transfer data files over the internet, with our product you can have LAN like security built in to all your files from business to business or location to location. I think this product is something that could benefit the [company] especially with the security pushes since Sept 11th. I count at least one spelling error, at least four grammatical errors, a basic misunderstanding of my explanation of my company’s existing solution, and several conceptual errors about the product she’s hawking. While the latter may be somewhat forgiveable when non-technical salespeople attempt to sell technical products, the basic composition errors do nothing to assure me of her competence. How in heaven’s name does a company expect a spelling and grammar-skills challenged person like this to reflect upon them? - Rick ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/2 "2002-07-24T15:03:12Z")
**Bricker** , at first I was going to dismiss this “person” as a _Mere Ultra Monkey_, unfit to clutch at the hem of your garb–and therefore unworthy of your attention. However–this came by e-mail. This means the “sales-thing” is hereby promoted from _Mere Ultra Monkey_ all the way up to _Goddam Astro Chimp_ . What, praytell is the difference? A _Mere Ultra Monkey_ spends it’s day stuffing bananas two at a time into it’s drooling maw with one paw, picking it’s fetid & pestilent nose with a second, whilst balancing on one prehensile foot & using the other to collect it’s own foul droppings & pelt the innocent passerby with shit. And those are it’s good points. A _Goddam Astro Chimp_, on the other hand, does all of the above, & has, through years of patient training by NASA’s best scientists, learned to pound fecklessly on a computer keyboard to no good purpose. Now you can file your correspondent under the correct classification. Glad we could clear that up. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Coda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Coda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coda)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/3 "2002-07-24T15:10:33Z")
I’d say it depends how nice you are feeling today. This person who sent the email is most likely very new to her job and has no clue how to pitch even her underwear. You could voice your concerns via an email back to her or you could call her and let her know how to make her mails more clear, and not give her the sale or you could not give her the sale and tell her she’s developed mentally delayed. I’d teach her a lesson by not giving her the sale and talking with her about her poor grammer. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/4 "2002-07-24T15:17:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bricker \* > **…forgiv** e **able…** ?? :: d&r :: ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/5 "2002-07-24T15:19:27Z")
Damn you **Gaudere**! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/6 "2002-07-24T15:34:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coda \* > \*\*\ … tell her she’s developed mentally delayed. > \*\* She’s developed mentally delayed what? This makes my head hurt… ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/7 "2002-07-24T15:37:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coda \* > \*\*I’d teach her a lesson by not giving her the sale and talking with her about her poor grammer. \*\* … nah, too easy… So maybe it was the person’s first day. Seems odd that they wouldn’t have a boilerplate email she could send out. Unless, of course, that was the boilerplate email, in which case the whole company’s screwy. But I think that if I had the time and the inclination, I’d email her back, pointing out the most glaring errors (and correcting them), and explaining to her that I was not going to purchase anything from her because her email gave me a poor impression of her company. If nothing else, this would inspire her to correct the email before she sent it out to someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/8 "2002-07-24T15:49:55Z")
What I sent her in response: > [@](#): > > Thanks for enclosing your fact sheets for [your products]. I’ll take a look at them over the next few days. > > I’m writing to offer you a bit of unsolicited advice. I hope you’ll take it in the spirit it’s intended - as constructive criticism. > > I enjoyed our brief chat yesterday; you were pleasant, friendly, and seemed knowledgeable about your product and our general situation here. But your e-mail, below, belies that first impression. It has at least one spelling error (“accessable” instead of “accessible”) and numerous grammatical problems. For example, you say, “… the bank has always kept there important IT information in an actual bank vault…” when it really should be “…kept THEIR important IT information…” In addition, several sentences contain clauses unmarked by punctuation, and apostrophes are misplaced. > > I think sales is a tricky area; lasting impressions can be based on the slightest of imperfections. Of course, many readers may not note, or care, about such things – but think of it this way: those that don’t care won’t be affected by perfect or imperfect grammar, and those that do care will notice the good and revile the poor. > > As I say, I hope you’ll take this as a private communication, me to you, offered in a friendly effort to help, and share with you what at least one potential customer noticed after reading your mail. Take it for whatever you feel it’s worth. > > Again, I enjoyed our chat, and I’ll get back to you later this week, or early next week, with any technical questions or comments I have concerning your product. > > Warm regards, > > Rick Notwithstanding the hyperbole of the title… I don’t plan to dismiss the products before reading about them. And, Mangetout, there’s a rule about posts criticizing spelling errors having to contain at least one such error. I am happy to keep the universe turning properly with my contribution thereto. 🙂 Obviously, I think there’s a difference between Board posts and solicitation e-mails; gratuitous spelling errors are never to be admired, but the attention to detail required for professional sales is, in my view, a bit greater than needed here. But you knew that! 🙂 - Rick ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/9 "2002-07-24T15:55:20Z")
Daniel sacrifices a comma to Gaudere and continues. Here’s my help: > [@](#): > > Thank you for taking a few moments to speak with me yesterday. Below is some basic information about the [two products] I mentioned. I know [your company] has always kept there ( **their** ) important IT information in an actual bank vault( **,** ) which( **,** ) as you mentioned( **,** ) is the safest place you could imagine it being( **.** ) however ( **However** ), if this information had to be accessed quickly and no one was around who had a key to the actual vault( **,** ) where would that leave you? Or, lets ( **let’s** ) say there was a situation where the vault was not accessable ( **accessible** ), ( **:** ) is there a place where you keep your disaster recovery plans, etc ( **etc. – although “etc.” really should follow at least two items, so that you have an Opal-worthy list** )? Our [product] is a software based ( **software-based** ) platform that allows you to save the crown jewels of the organization in a safe haven with in ( **within** ) your network. This data is armored like an actual bank vault since there are 10 layers of security surrounding this data at all times. The other side of the [product] is the fact that many people are using expensive leased lines to transfer data files over the internet ( **Internet** ), ( **;** ) with our product you can have LAN like ( **LAN-like** )security built in to ( **into?** ) all your files from business to business or location to location. I think this product is something that could benefit the [company] ( **,** ) especially with the security pushes since Sept 11th. I’m counting 17-18 errors in eight sentences. Yeesh. I’m not counting things like beginning a sentence with “or,” either. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/10 "2002-07-24T15:55:34Z")
I think your response was very nice, **Bricker**. I hope that she isn’t too embarassed by it–but, with any luck, you are saving her future embarassment. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/11 "2002-07-24T15:55:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > **A _Mere Ultra Monkey_ spends it’s day stuffing bananas two at a time into it’s drooling maw with one paw, picking it’s fetid & pestilent nose with a second, whilst balancing on one prehensile foot & using the other to collect it’s own foul droppings & pelt the innocent passerby with shit. And those are it’s good points.** Your use of “it’s” throughout was sarcasm. correct? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/12 "2002-07-24T16:56:17Z")
My question…if you keep your important IT information in a vault, this system will instead keep it safe in the computer? But what if the computer is inaccessible? (Power outage, fire has destroyed the building, etc.) What did I miss? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/13 "2002-07-24T17:00:09Z")
Gee, **Bricker** are you counting the ‘there/their’ as bad grammar or bad spelling? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/14 "2002-07-24T17:03:20Z")
ivylass: Since the “important information” in question includes such things as emergency passwords and system configuration information, I suppose they are assuming that an inaccessible computer also means no need to retrieve passwords - what would we access with the passwords, once we got them out of the “vault”? On the other hand, their literature also mentions continuity of operations plans, which may well be required in case a disaster leaves us without functioning computers. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/15 "2002-07-24T17:40:42Z")
I’m sorry bricker…please be patient with me. Continuity of operations plans, in case you have no functioning computers, will be stored in the computer. Huh? What good will they be stored in the computer if you can’t get to them? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/16 "2002-07-24T17:55:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gigi \* > \*\* > > Your use of “it’s” throughout was sarcasm. correct? 😉 \*\* Sadly, I must 'fess up to my failure, & plead lack of sleep last night. My apologies to **gigi** and any primates I may have offended. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/17 "2002-07-24T18:04:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > Gee, **Bricker** , are you counting the ‘there/their’ as bad grammar or bad spelling? I don’t know about **Bricker** , but my very strict high school English teacher would have counted it as both. I said she was strict; I didn’t say she was _logical_. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/18 "2002-07-24T18:40:52Z")
ivylass: When I used ‘On the other hand,’ as the introductory phrase for the sentence describing the continuity of operations plan storage, I had hoped to signal that, contrary to the previous sentence, this model made no sense at all. In other words, while there mightr be a saving grace in the storage of emergency passwords on the computer, I could see no such relief in the COOP documentation. In still other words, I agree with you. 🙂 - Rick ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/19 "2002-07-24T19:15:49Z")
Gotcha, **bricker** My blonde moment has passed. ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567/20 "2002-07-24T19:16:30Z")
I’m with you 100 percent, Bricker. The advent of e-mail has made it entirely too easy for people to slack off when it comes to writing well in a professional setting. If this were the pre-Internet era, sending out such a poorly written pitch via postal mail, on a company’s letterhead, would never have been acceptable. (Or at least I hope not.) The fact that one can send these pitches by e-mail now does not obviate the need to write professionally. This person, I can assume, is at least a high school graduate or better; being fluent in her native language should be a given. I think your e-mail back to her was great. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wont-buy-anything-from-you-because-your-spelling-and-grammar-skills-are-atrocious/120567.md?page=2)