# I work in Dilbertsville
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [June 24, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067 "2003-06-24T16:27:55Z")
**Posts on this page:** 11
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067/1 "2003-06-24T16:27:55Z")
I’m working a case. It is relatively large and a bit complicated. My boss assigns an accountant to assist me. Except this accountant does not fully understand this case. He’s used to things balancing: If you start with a number, add and/or subtract numbers, you should end up with a particular number-- right? Only this case doesn’t have a “starting number” there are conversions, splits and options and many times-- in fact most times-- the claim does not balance the way it should in this accountant’s mind.
So what does this accountant do? Well he MAKES them balance, driving me absolutely bat-shit in the process. After 2 weeks of “Listen Adam Smith, there is no beginning position. This is an IPO. Stop putting numbers in the beginning.” and “That’s a conversion, not a purchase.” and “That was a 1.4 split not a two for one and this one is a two for one not an even trade. No it doesn’t add up to the end position.” I had enough and told my boss that Adam Smith is not really helping. I show my boss some of his work. My boss agrees that Adam doesn’t understand the case but doesn’t reassign him because _he doesn’t want to hurt his feelings_!!!
My boss tells me to watch his work and not to worry because all the claims will be audited by another party (all our claims are always audited by a second or third party). So audit time comes and guess who my boss assigns to audit the claims\* I\* worked on? NO-- no guessing allowed, you know damned well who my boss assigned to audit my claims.
Two motherfucking thousand claims later, my boss decides that Adam Smith really is an irredeemable idiot and maybe I should pull all the goddamned claims Adam has audited and re-examine them.
Maybe my boss should have his head re-examined. Maybe Adam Smith should be re-examined for his CPA. Maybe I’ll have to spend a week fixing a mistake that I pointed out 6 months ago. Maybe my department should get it’s own fucking comic strip.
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### Author:  [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067/2 "2003-06-24T16:52:30Z")
I’m Wally!
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### Author:  [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067/3 "2003-06-24T16:58:07Z")
Maybe someone should point out to your boss that if the purpose of an independent audit is to catch errors, it should not be conducted by anyone involved in developing the numbers. Isn’t that part of the definition of an independent audit?
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### Author:  [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067/4 "2003-06-24T17:08:42Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ENugent \*
> \*\*Maybe someone should point out to your boss that if the purpose of an independent audit is to catch errors, it should not be conducted by anyone involved in developing the numbers. Isn’t that part of the definition of an independent audit? \*\*
Yes, yes it is.
However, as long as the person auditing a particular claim didn’t examine the claim originally-- then all should be copastetic. And it _usually_ helps if the person auditing is familiar with the case. Usually. If that person knows what they are doing, that is.
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### Author:  [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067/5 "2003-06-24T17:14:38Z")
_Must control…fist…of…death_
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### Author:  [@beerchick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beerchick)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067/6 "2003-06-24T18:16:52Z")
You fail to reazlize said accountant does not have his CPA and that’s why he lives in dillbertsville. in fact he failed the test at least 3-4 times.
Biggirl do you not realize we work in the department of misfits ? The reason why we were hired is because we are all misfits in some way or another. The idea behind this is that we will stay here forever because no one will hire us and they will never have to train new people or pay someone more money.
Fortunately we are the least dangerous of the group.
PS I work with Biggirl.
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### Author:  [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)
#### Post date: [June 24, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067/7 "2003-06-24T19:27:00Z")
A few years (and a few jobs) ago I turned my cube into the Temple of Saint Dogbert Technologous.
All hail St. Dogbert!
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### Author:  [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)
#### Post date: [June 29, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067/8 "2003-06-29T22:22:15Z")
I’m [Wally](http://comics.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert2003062174229.jpg).
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### Author:  [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2003, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067/9 "2003-06-30T14:57:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Biggirl \*
> \*\*So what does this accountant do? Well he MAKES them balance, driving me absolutely bat-shit in the process. After 2 weeks of “Listen Adam Smith, there is no beginning position. This is an IPO. Stop putting numbers in the beginning.” and “That’s a conversion, not a purchase.” and “That was a 1.4 split not a two for one and this one is a two for one not an even trade. No it doesn’t add up to the end position.”_!!! \*\*
Ve have vays of makink you balance!
I do auditing for several non-profits and we have one in which their bookkeeper will spend an hour looking for a $.02 difference and _make a journal entry to correct it_! We always have a good laugh over her.
Otherwise, we’re pretty humorless\* people.
\*Signed,
Nutty (who’s been in this international community for so long, she almost typed “humo **u** rless”-not that there’s anything wrong with that). 😃
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### Author:  [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067/10 "2003-06-30T15:17:38Z")
Yep, work sucks. But you know what? I DON’T GIVE A HOOT!!! cause I’m retired. Get up whenever I feel like it. Check the email, etc. Get on the brand new Harley and ride down to a local eatery and and have an hour long breakfast omlette (on the Atkins diet, lost 10 pounds and the cholesterol is down 45 pts. to 157 eating almost nothing but cheese, salads, eggs, and steak). After breakfast maybe a little ride up to Lake Tahoe. If I feel like it this afternoon maybe a little yard work. If it’s too hot maybe an hour or two working on the book. If things get too hectic a walk down to the library usually calms me down. Yeah, life is good.
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### Author:  [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-work-in-dilbertsville/184067/11 "2003-06-30T17:38:04Z")
You suck.
😛