# I would have been fired on the spot! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 21, 2001, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-would-have-been-fired-on-the-spot/73301 "2001-07-21T05:23:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kaje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f04885/32.png) [@Kaje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaje)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2001, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-would-have-been-fired-on-the-spot/73301/41 "2001-07-22T21:04:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by amarinth \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by Pammipoo \* > > My favorite customers are the ones who tell me in at least 4 different ways home they want thier sandwich. “I want a plain cheeseburger. That’s a cheeseburger with nothing on it. Only meat and cheese, and the bun. No ketchup, no mustard, no pickles, no onions, nothing. Just meat and cheese. And the bun.”_\* > > I’m one of those people. > I do it because sometimes I’ve said “plain” and then had to take the burger back and to hear “Oh, I thought you just meant no lettuce, but mustard and mayo were ok.” Or I’ve said “nothing on it” and spent time trying to wipe of tomato goo. Or “just plain, please” and taken a huge bite of pickles. Or, the weirdest, “Just Cheese, but nothing else” and gotten no cheese, but onions, tomatoes, lettuce, and pickles. > So, you look at the burger and find where it is possible for the order to go wrong, and then try and do everything in your power to get a plain cheeseburger. And, while I’m certain it annoys the good, competent people (like you) it’s the only way to save myself from the morons. \*\* I’ve nothing meaningful to add except that it’s comforting to see other people dealing with the same shit as myself. My friends always give me the weirdest looks when I order like that. I can never trust a third party to order for me. Even my fucking parents who’ve known for almost 19 years now that I only eat plain cheeseburgers mess it up almost every time. What I really can’t stand are the people who, after I noticed my burger has tons of shit on it, say “come on pussy just wipe it off”. Fuck you. There’s a reason I dont’ order ketchup or mustard, I DON’T LIKE THE TASTE. WIPING IT DOES SHIT except of course to grind the distate into the very core of the burger/bun. I am not an australopithecine who must eat whatever he can find on the savanna in order to survive. I have the luxury of being able to choose what I am going to eat, and I don’t like paying for the experience of being forced to pinch my nose and force down bite after bite of repulsive food. Whew… so who wants to go grab a burger? ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-would-have-been-fired-on-the-spot/73301/42 "2001-07-23T11:22:11Z")
5 tablespoons of mayonnaise on a burger makes the whole meal taste like shit. ARE you being fed through a tube now? ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-would-have-been-fired-on-the-spot/73301/43 "2001-07-23T18:58:23Z")
See, this is why, whenever I go out to eat Hamburgers (never at fast food joints) I go to Fuddruckers. ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-would-have-been-fired-on-the-spot/73301/44 "2001-07-24T11:53:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FarmerOak \* > \*\*[PETA] > Well, if you wouldn’t base your diet on the merciless slaughter of the innocents, you wouldn’t have to worry about this! > … > MEAT IS MURDER! > [/PETA] \*\* mmmmmmmmm…merciless slaughter of innocents…mmmmmm Damn it, **FarmerOak** , quit making me hungry. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-would-have-been-fired-on-the-spot/73301.md?page=2)