# I wouldn't want to be a dolphin. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 29, 2005, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wouldnt-want-to-be-a-dolphin/319033 "2005-08-29T00:43:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wouldnt-want-to-be-a-dolphin/319033/1 "2005-08-29T00:43:07Z")
Firstly, I’d have to learn to live in water. And books tend to get soggy rather quickly. Second, I doubt I’d be able to surf the net, what with the lack of fingers. What wouldn’t _you_ want to be? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wouldnt-want-to-be-a-dolphin/319033/2 "2005-08-29T00:45:04Z")
I wouldn’t want to be a dung beetle. Almost everything about them seems wonderful but I just wouldn’t want to be so short. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wouldnt-want-to-be-a-dolphin/319033/3 "2005-08-29T00:55:17Z")
A cockroach. I wouldn’t like knowing that everything in the universe hated, feared or loathed me. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wouldnt-want-to-be-a-dolphin/319033/4 "2005-08-29T01:04:16Z")
I see where this is going. By way of further explanation: I love dolphins. I think they’re cute and intelligent and are fun to be around. But I wouldn’t want to _be_ one, as that would require giving up my humannes. So, to amend: What living thing do you like being _around_, but wouldn’t want to _be_? Or not. I put the thread out there. Take it where thou wilt. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wouldnt-want-to-be-a-dolphin/319033/5 "2005-08-29T01:09:28Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > So, to amend: What living thing do you like being _around_, but wouldn’t want to _be_? Like I said already, a dung beetle. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wouldnt-want-to-be-a-dolphin/319033/6 "2005-08-29T01:10:44Z")
I love cats, but I wouldn’t want to be one. Compulsive self-grooming using one’s own tongue doesn’t sound fun to me. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wouldnt-want-to-be-a-dolphin/319033/7 "2005-08-29T01:17:02Z")
A floppy eared dog. I have a floppy eared dog. Floppy ears get REAL stinky because air can’t circulate under there. We’re always telling the dog, “it’s a good thing you’re cute, 'cause you smell bad.” I’d rather smell good than be cute. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wouldnt-want-to-be-a-dolphin/319033/8 "2005-08-29T01:28:50Z")
Sorry - I misunderstood the premise of the OP - may I try again? **pinkfreud** got there first - I love cats, and in a lot of ways I wouldn’t mind being one, (with the proper guardian of course) but I would hate having to have someone turn the pages for me. And trees - I would hate to have to be in one place all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wouldnt-want-to-be-a-dolphin/319033/9 "2005-08-29T01:48:16Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > Sorry - I misunderstood the premise of the OP - may I try again? Well, you may have misunderstood my intent, but I don’t think you misunderstood the OP. I was just being famously unclear. Again. (Someday I’ll learn, really.) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wouldnt-want-to-be-a-dolphin/319033/10 "2005-08-29T12:09:46Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I wouldn’t want to be a dung beetle. Almost everything about them seems wonderful but I just wouldn’t want to be so short. I don’t think 5’ 4" is all that short, but thanks for the compliment. I try my best. 🙂