# Ian Thorpe isn't fit to lick vegemite off Michael Phelps' ass. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 13, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722 "2004-08-13T18:23:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/21 "2004-08-14T03:58:14Z")
Michael who??? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jttm80](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@jttm80](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jttm80)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/22 "2004-08-14T04:03:40Z")
> [@Vagus](#): > > Michael who??? 😃 Bwahahaha… I was about to ask the same thing. I’ve never heard of that guy before… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/23 "2004-08-14T08:17:05Z")
> [@jttm80](#): > > Bwahahaha… I was about to ask the same thing. I’ve never heard of that guy before… > 😛 American Republican checking in, Aussies. When I saw the thread title yesterday, I thought “shit, here’s another US bashing coming.” But it was kinda funny. And nobody took it as an insult (Yay Aussies), the koala on the BBQ was so over the top it couldn’t be taken as a serious insult. Anyway. I can’t wait for Phelps and Thorpe to go at it. ( **Otto** , I mean swimming) This is actually an event I will watch because of the competition between two people. Forget flags, I love seeing the stars and stripes hoisted high, but I want to see 2 people vie for the win. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/24 "2004-08-14T11:07:05Z")
[nitpick]Phelps’s not Phelps’. You only leave the s off the end if you’re referring to the ownership of a plural, say the boys’ dormitories.[/nitpick] Anyway, while this didn’t make me laugh, since it’s hard to even smile when you realise how much of a dick your country looks like when your representative is Ian Thorpe. I can’t stand the guy. Why couldn’t someone good actually join our Olympic team? Like, say Mikey Robbins? Dave Hughes? Carl Barron? And why the fuck did they have Bjork singing at the Athens Olympics? ---
**Author:** ![Gest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Gest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gest)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/25 "2004-08-14T11:24:09Z")
You’d rather Demis Roussos and Nana Mouskouri did a duet? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/26 "2004-08-14T18:45:23Z")
> [@Edward The Head](#): > > Oh and **Trunk** , well see about that when the 200 free is over with. Phelps is going to have his hands full. Really? I’m no swimmer, but that strikes me as a rather odd technique. What will his hands be full of? Does he lose points if he drops whatever it is? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/27 "2004-08-14T19:42:12Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > What will his hands be full of? God willing, more vegemite for re-application. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/28 "2004-08-14T19:47:48Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by Smeghead_ > Really? I’m no swimmer, but that strikes me as a rather odd technique. What will his hands be full of? Does he lose points if he drops whatever it is? His hands are full of all the extra ego he has now but he’s no different than any other great athlete in that respect. It isn’t a criticism but how could his ego not inflate a little with all the press he has had lately? I can’t wait for the 200 Free. It will be one hell of a race with Vandenhoogenband thrown into the mix. I’m terribly excited, I just love the olympics. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/29 "2004-08-14T20:02:03Z")
> [@jttm80](#): > > Bwahahaha… I was about to ask the same thing. I’ve never heard of that guy before… > 😛 I actually hadn’t heard of him, so when I saw an online headline screaming “PHELPS TO COME TO MICHIGAN!” a few months ago, I had a heart attack. I thought they meant Fred Phelps. I had to read the article to realize what was going on. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/30 "2004-08-14T20:38:44Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > What will his hands be full of? God willing, more vegemite for re-application. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/31 "2004-08-14T21:27:27Z")
Oh, dear. [CNN/SI](http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2004/olympics/2004/swimming/08/14/phelps.first.ap/index.html) lists the headline as **Phelps captures first gold.** Clearly they can see the future. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/32 "2004-08-14T21:31:49Z")
But he has got one, then again so has Thorpe. ---
**Author:** ![Silocke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Silocke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silocke)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/33 "2004-08-14T21:53:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Does licking Vegemite off an ass improve the flavor? Of the Vegemite, that is. No, but try to look surprised. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/34 "2004-08-15T00:56:50Z")
Does the name Pieter van den Hoogenband ring any bells with you anglo-centric fuckers? 🙂 Oh, all right, all right. My money’s on Phelps. Kid is effin’ brilliant. Still, I hope Pieter can make it to the podium on a few occasions as well. His battle with Thorpe during the Sydney Olympics was just awesome. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/35 "2004-08-15T01:21:13Z")
That’s Anglo-centric Vegemite lickers to you, Sonny Jim! Geez, ya can’t even spell Peter properly. d&r 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Burnt\_Sugar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee59a6/32.png) [@Burnt\_Sugar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burnt_Sugar)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/36 "2004-08-15T05:08:25Z")
This Michael Phelps thing is a peeve of mine. This is reposted from another thread: > [@](#): > > I’d say Michael Phelps hopes to, rather than is expected to win 7 or 8 golds… He came second in the US trials for 100 Butterfly, so he didn’t even win racing his own countrymen. He’s ranked third for the 200 free, and his time at the trials was over half a second slower than the guy who’s ranked second. So, for individual events, say he is “expected” to win the IMs and the 200 Fly. That’s three. > > I don’t know which relays he’s in, but the US is not likely to win the 200 Free relay. (On paper the Aussies have a 2 second advantage, plus we won at the last World Champs and Olympics.) So, assuming the US is ranked first in the other two relays (which they aren’t, but that could be because they haven’t raced as a team recently), that is only 5 golds that he is “expected” to win. Plus, the US didn’t win the 4x100m relay at last year’s world championships. So… there are four golds he could be “expected” to win, based on times and previous results. The rest are hype by the media. > > Also, there’s no reason the US swim team management would pick him to be in the finals of the 4x100m relay or the medley relay, so if the US team does win those events, he probably won’t have swum in the final anyway - a bit of a soft gold medal there. ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/37 "2004-08-15T06:00:09Z")
BWAHAHAHA ! Love your work, **Trunk**. 😃 Bloody Yank. Or should I say, “Gaaaarn, up yours mate! If Phelpsie can’t even figure out where to put vegemite, how the hell is he gunna figure out which direction to swim in? Thorpie will be eating vegemite soldiers while Phelps is still paddling” ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/38 "2004-08-15T10:12:44Z")
Man this thread sure does bring all the Aussies out of the woodwork 😉 OI OI OI! Who’s up for a dopefest? ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/39 "2004-08-15T10:15:20Z")
Welp, he’s getting his arse handed to him by Thorpe in the trials. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722/40 "2004-08-15T12:04:36Z")
> [@Go You Big Red Fire Engine](#): > > Man this thread sure does bring all the Aussies out of the woodwork 😉 > OI OI OI! > Who’s up for a dopefest? Will there be vegemite and asses? And some combination of the two? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ian-thorpe-isnt-fit-to-lick-vegemite-off-michael-phelps-ass/259722.md?page=3)