# IANAShrink..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 25, 2011, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329 "2011-12-25T01:17:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![loshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce73a5/32.png) [@loshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/loshan)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/61 "2011-12-25T08:45:16Z")
Can’t find the square brackets. I’m sure they are there somewhere. I’m new to this small, smart, one finger sized, new-fangled technology. Just when I got good at one piece of it, I gotta adapt to the new stuff. Oh well. Last batch of cookies are in. 15 minutes left. YAY. I am punch/baked drunk at this point. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/62 "2011-12-25T08:59:05Z")
> [@loshan](#): > > I hope I’m not out of line in saying that I’m sure Dondra wishes that also. 😉 I better not let her see that one, **loshan** , 'cause if I did, she’d wanna drag us both to church and then up to the altar this morning! She’s an angel in the daytime, but she’s a demon at all other times! So it’s best I keep everything between the ditches if I want to keep on going off fully cocked. Basically Q ---
**Author:** ![loshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce73a5/32.png) [@loshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/loshan)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/63 "2011-12-25T09:01:45Z")
Cookies out of the oven. Nite all and Happy Holidays. I go to bed with a clear conscience Quasimodem. Back in the AM. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/64 "2011-12-25T09:03:59Z")
**Lo** : look just to the right of the “P” my friend, and then make sure you’re in lower case. Otherwise, look at someone else’s post where they have quoted, and hit “quote” on your selections. Then just copy what they did. Q ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/65 "2011-12-25T09:05:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Quasi Rocks! Like that! 😉 Q ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/66 "2011-12-25T09:07:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Quasi Rocks! Like that! 😉 Q ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/67 "2011-12-25T09:19:12Z")
**Quasi** , you do indeed rock and I’m glad you came back to the thread. I don’t have any plans for Christmas. My relatives are all over the country, it’s just me and my dog. But we’ll catch up by phone. I’ll probably clean up the house a little and bake a pumpkin pie. Not that I’m a baker, it’s a frozen pie, but they’re not that easy to eff up. As long as we have a computer, or a cell phone, or a tablet, we can reach out to people. So, put the virtual Yule log on the TV, sing “Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire,” and everybody have a safe and happy holiday. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/68 "2011-12-25T14:18:15Z")
> [@loshan](#): > > I’ll trade you half a ham for half your turkey **2gigch1**. > > I don’t have enough people to justify both, and since we just had the turkey a month ago…well. Nowhere WA is about as far as it can get from central VA, so I think we’ll both have to enjoy good intentions for desert. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/69 "2011-12-26T04:04:32Z")
Hope everyone’s okay tonight. If not, I’m here if you need to talk to someone. 🙂 Q ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/70 "2011-12-26T04:14:46Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > **Quasi** , you do indeed rock and I’m glad you came back to the thread. I don’t have any plans for Christmas. My relatives are all over the country, it’s just me and my dog. But we’ll catch up by phone. I’ll probably clean up the house a little and bake a pumpkin pie. Not that I’m a baker, it’s a frozen pie, but they’re not that easy to eff up. As long as we have a computer, or a cell phone, or a tablet, we can reach out to people. So, put the virtual Yule log on the TV, sing “Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire,” and everybody have a safe and happy holiday. Heh! I love it! You know, I caught a little of that Yule Log just a few minutes ago, but **D** and I have one of thos “Fake Fireplaces” and the canned gel that goes along with them? So tonight we’re using up our last 4 cans and listening to some German Christmas songs. Being a tradionalist, I prefer the music of my home land to some of the disco stuff they play on that thing. Q ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/71 "2011-12-26T06:18:58Z")
Gonna go play some Warcraft, but I’ll check in all night. Q (The “attention whore”:rolleyes::D:cool:) ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/72 "2011-12-26T06:23:41Z")
Don’t know how long I’ll be on, but I hope you enjoyed Christmas Day 🙂 And maybe you have something to add to the ‘whore heels’ thread 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/73 "2011-12-26T08:55:14Z")
I slept through it, **TriP** , and I hope you and loved ones enjoyed yours!@ I added to the whore heels thread, but don’t know how many will agree with my opinions! 😉 Looks like everyone’s okay, so I’m gonna sit in my favorite recliner and read some Dickens for a while! Q ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/74 "2011-12-27T00:49:47Z")
> [@grantham](#): > > i.e yous turned the attention away from the attention whore **grantham** , this is inappropriate. Don’t do it again. Ellen Cherry MPSIMS Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/75 "2011-12-27T00:56:03Z")
I’m here, guys and ladies, if anyone needs to talk. Last night, on Messenger, I spent the better part of an hour speaking to one of our Doper friends, and came away knowing I had made a very good new friend. No problem, just a very nice guy who felt the time had come for us to get to know each other better! Quasi ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/76 "2011-12-27T02:12:19Z")
**Quasi,** I know you are trying to be a good man and help someone who needs some help, so what the hell, I will take you up (partially) on your offer. I think I shall vent a bit and you can tell me if I am a doormat, crazy, or whatever. I’d love a little feedback and I will opportune myself of your kind thread if you don’t mind. As you saw in another thread the soon-to-be ex wife is in Hawaii having a fling while I work and take care of her animals. I have very conflicted emotions on this; part of me resents her having fun while I work long hours and take care of the animals, part of me enjoys not having her around and thus having to deal with her issues - and she has many. As anyone who has had a loved one with PTSD and other issues can attest, life gets complicated real quick. But alas I am not enjoying the full benefits of the second part of the above paragraph, because she keeps calling me and talking to me as if I’m her best friend in the world, and she is telling me a lot of details I just don’t wish to hear. Now I know the reader will quickly say “don’t be a doormat!” and “dump the bitch already!” and trust me, I’m there, I’m a believer. However having been through a tough and expensive divorce a couple years ago, I’m trying to think of how to get through this one as simply (and inexpensively) as possible, so there is a lot of tongue biting going on. Also, frankly, anything I am told is information I know instead of being kept in the dark, and in situations like this I have learned to appreciate that. After just fielding a phone call last hour the likes of which no retelling could possibly do justice, I sat and penned a letter in response. I like writing things because it allows me to say exactly what I want, and nothing more. So far, here is what I have: \*(Wife’s first name), I am sorry your trip has not worked out the way you wanted it to. But I think I need to make a few things clear here. I feel very used and unappreciated for having to watch the animals while you run off to Hawaii for 25 days to go have a fling with someone else. I am finding it harder and harder to justify maintaining a relationship with you. Its like you have no damn clue how your actions affect others, or you don’t care. It’s not like I care whether you have gone off to go fuck someone else, or whatever else you choose to do. More power to you, go do your thing. But what I do know is that I am being taken for granted. Just because I have spent the last few years listening and helping doesn’t mean that is going to continue. Indeed many of the things you have said to me, even if they were ‘in the moment’ or ‘during the heat of anger’ have a lasting effect. You have done great damage to my ability to care. And while it is mildly flattering that you seem to want to share your life experiences with me, I have to ask you, what are you doing for me? \* And this is as far as I got before I ran out of steam. Obviously it’s not done, and also a letter of this magnitude I would sit on for a day or two before sending anyway. Anyway, there ya go. Feedback appreciated. I am pretty secure with myself and my plans, but if anyone else has a thought I’m all ears. Merry Christmas Doper Friends! ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/77 "2011-12-27T03:12:53Z")
You agreed to baby-sit the animals, yes? Okay, then (IMO) that’s the extent of your commitment. If she calls and asks if the pets are okay, then answer her, ask when she’ll be by to pick them up, and then gently lay the phone down. If you keep listening to that “You’re my best friend stuff”, then the next time one of the pets takes a shit in your house, just go ahead and rub your nose in it yourself. Same thing. Your letter to her is way too long, IMO. A simple “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on”, would suffice. Sorry, I’m no “Dear Abby”, okay, but if you don’t ditch this person, she’ll be like one of those boogers you keep snapping your hand back and forth in trying to get it to turn loose . Again: I am not a psychiatrit/psychologist, but I do empathize. Can you sleep on that? Quasi ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/78 "2011-12-27T03:22:01Z")
Yeah, it’s all good. The feedback is appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/79 "2011-12-27T03:27:16Z")
But see? This isn’t really something I feel comfortable to discuss with you, right here, and I feel I may have overstepped my bounds in answering you as I have. I’m more of a _private_ conversationalist, just helping out by listening and offering alternatives. Hence the IANAShrink disclaimer, **2gigch1**. That being said, I stand by my recommendation (as others have suggested): Time to let it go, but thanks for considering me (us) your confidante! 🙂 Your pal, Quasi ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329/80 "2011-12-27T03:30:32Z")
Great advice **Quasi**. **2gigch1** , sorry to hear about it. Seems to me like you’ve gone above and beyond already. I think\*\* Quasi’s \*\*booger analogy is spot on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ianashrink/607329.md?page=5)