# Ice Cream: Fifteen Minutes From Scoop To Poop **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 11, 2000, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715 "2000-01-11T16:53:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/1 "2000-01-11T16:53:00Z")
Ok, not poop exactly, but rather some _really_ foul-smelling farts. I eat a bowl of ice-cream, then fifteen minutes later, something gaseous and evil comes out of my butt. I’m assuming that the gas is due to lactose intolerance. What I wanna know is how it gets through my intestines so fast. Until I noticed this trend (actually, the ice cream connection was pointed out to me by my slightly green and teary-eyed girlfriend,) I assumed that it would take hours for something to go through the whole system. So…what’s the deal? How can the stuff form such noxious fumes so quickly? -David ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/2 "2000-01-11T17:19:00Z")
Hours? Nope, just a few minutes. The path may seem long but the muscles do their work quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/3 "2000-01-11T17:25:00Z")
Wow, > [@](#): > > The path may seem long but the muscles do their work quickly. That sounds like some sort of inspirational saying. To the O.P., Nuts (walnuts, pecans, etc) do the same to be. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzy-wuzzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b38774/32.png) [@fuzzy-wuzzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzy-wuzzy)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/4 "2000-01-11T17:55:00Z")
actually liquids travel faster than solids of course…and ice cream dissolves into a liquid as soon as it hits your mouth…only takes a few minutes… * * * “Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda _You wanna know something about me…ask me…not my friends…_ ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/5 "2000-01-11T19:50:00Z")
I now know ever so much more about SoulFrost than I ever wanted to know about any human being, living or dead. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/6 "2000-01-11T20:58:00Z")
Lactose intollerant? * * * Yer pal, Satan _ **First Place** Most Popular Poster of the 20th Century Competition As overseen by Coldfire_ ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/7 "2000-01-11T21:22:00Z")
Awww, Eve…but I’ve got sooooo much more to share! Yup, Oh Infernal Source Of All Evil…Lactose (milk sugar) and my digestive tract are not on the best of terms… -David ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/8 "2000-01-11T21:28:00Z")
So 15 minutes isn’t unheard of…well, I’m glad to know that all those little muscles are in there bustin’ ass like all good little muscles should! Thanks for the answers, y’all. Hmmmm…Mr. Thin Skin–I wonder what would happen if I sprinkled walnuts on my ice cream… -David ---
**Author:** ![Meow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Meow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meow)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/9 "2000-01-11T23:02:00Z")
Sorry, this is gross, but has anyone had the experience being ill with some kind of intestinal thingy, eating something, feeling like your backside is going to burst, so you run to the bathroom and discover dinner remnants and lots of liquid coming out your back end? I mean, within a very short period of time? I think it’s very bizzare. I"m amazed at how quickly that stuff can get through there! Meow! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/10 "2000-01-12T00:15:00Z")
TACO BELL SYNDROM!!! 10 minutes after you eat, theres a damn tostada of lettuce and tomatoes blasting out of you, and then the greasy meat comes. HOW HOW?? I cant believe the speed. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/11 "2000-01-12T01:21:00Z")
Gross. But hey, post a picture. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/12 "2000-01-12T07:36:00Z")
Don’t they make ice cream safe for lactoose intollerant peoople? Or in this case, the people in th same room as them? Does iit taste like shit? Or do you just, like so many men, like the smell of your own emissions? * * * Yer pal, Satan _ **First Place** Most Popular Poster of the 20th Century Competition As overseen by Coldfire_ ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/13 "2000-01-12T10:43:00Z")
I don’t really eat enough of it to buy the special kinds. I just get a hankering, and I eat whatever’s in the freezer. You know how it is, when you make something all by yourself, you just naturally want to share it with those around you. It’s called PRIDE, man! -David ---
**Author:** ![Poto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ab992/32.png) [@Poto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poto)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/14 "2000-01-12T12:16:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Don’t they make ice cream safe for lactoose intollerant peoople? Or in this case, the people in th same room as them? actually they do, but not yet in the US ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/15 "2000-01-12T12:32:00Z")
It’s wonderful how much we have to share with one another. Anyone have any stories they’d like to tell about finding miraculously intact corn or beans? DHR * * * Why must I feel like that/Why must I chase the cat?/Nothin’ but the dog in me.–George Clinton ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/16 "2000-01-12T16:42:00Z")
Corn, beans, tomato seeds aren’t processed much, they go right through. Your intestines are like a hose. When you turn on the hose, water comes out right away sometimes. Sometimes not. So you eat something gaseous & the gas simply pushes whats in your intestines already out the back door. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/17 "2000-01-12T17:06:00Z")
I would assume it’s better than constipation, never been constipated so I don’t know…but I can’t imagine having your plumbing so backed up you can’t poo I think that would be painful. Hey, bananas give me stinky gas, what’s up with that? Well, I just wanted to be just as gross as the rest ya’ll. BTW, they do make lactose free milk, I assume that their are loactose free ice creams too, probably at specialty stores. ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/18 "2000-01-12T20:21:00Z")
This is as good a time as any to remember a link posted by another doper. Here it is, enjoy carefully [www.vis.colostate.edu/~scriven/files/steak.txt](http://www.vis.colostate.edu/~scriven/files/steak.txt) ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/19 "2000-01-12T21:43:00Z")
Well, I’ve had the Eat-Food-And-Ten-Minutes-Later-A-Blasting-Cap-Goes-Off-In-Your-Ass-Causing-Projectile-Shit before. Aren’t you glad you asked? And BTW: Grape Kool-Aid makes my shit turn bright green. Pretty groovy, huh? * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715/20 "2000-01-13T09:44:00Z")
This is kind of a George Carlinesque thought I’ve often had: after I fly from one hemisphere to another and then take a dump, I reflect on the net contribution I’m making to that half of the planet’s biosphere. DHR [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ice-cream-fifteen-minutes-from-scoop-to-poop/12715.md?page=2)