# I'd have the CSI Investigators work on.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 25, 2004, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-have-the-csi-investigators-work-on/276635 "2004-11-25T14:54:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-have-the-csi-investigators-work-on/276635/1 "2004-11-25T14:54:28Z")
…making sure my wife never loses her car keys. Or sunglasses. Or the checkbook. They’re tireless. They’re analytical and only rely on the facts. They’re relentless. They invest more energy to solve one crime than could ever conceivably be really spent without bodies and fluid samples getting heaped into a pile. Man, if I could get them to focus on something, it would be…I know: Getting me through the line at the DMV!! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-have-the-csi-investigators-work-on/276635/2 "2004-11-25T17:47:57Z")
Heck, let them deconstruct both Kennedy assassinations, with enough time after the last commercial break to wrap up Chappaquiddick. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-have-the-csi-investigators-work-on/276635/3 "2004-11-25T19:49:19Z")
Two… the Ripper and Lizzie Borden. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-have-the-csi-investigators-work-on/276635/4 "2004-11-25T20:29:31Z")
No no no - I want them working for _me_. Folding my laundry (“well, I fluffed this set of t-shirts a fourth time to ensure they were appropriately wrinkle free”), doing my weeding (“I only spent 17 hours in the backyard combing through foliage; I better stay late tonight”) or preparing my coffee (“I achieved a precise pre-boiling point for the Somalian dark roast, per protocols…”)… ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-have-the-csi-investigators-work-on/276635/5 "2004-11-26T02:43:45Z")
I just want them vacuuming my carpet. “I found a dark hair.” _ **A** _ hair? As in single, solitary, only one? Please oh please come vacuum my house so that when the next team searches for trace evidence, hair is hard to find.