# I'd like to kill my roommate, but I'm afraid just doing it once wouldn't be enough **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 11, 2007, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016 "2007-11-11T14:26:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Polymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f14d63/32.png) [@Polymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polymer)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/181 "2007-11-13T18:05:41Z")
[QUOTE=Shayna] Landlord-Tenant Laws still apply. [/QUOTE] Great info. Right then. So with regards to Dave’s stuff, the **landlord** must request that the **sheriff** have the belongings removed and placed in a storage unit. It would be illegal for Neutron to do these things unilaterally. Gotta admit, I’m sitting on the edge of my seat here, can’t wait for an update from Neutron. This board’s pretty cool. A little alarming, possibly. But certainly interesting. I like it. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/182 "2007-11-13T18:28:00Z")
[QUOTE=forty two] Wow, who over starched your undies? You make it sound like she robbed bank while snortin meth and anal rapping puppies with a chin strap on. Not that I advocating snorting meth while anal raping puppies with a shin strap on and bank robbing mind you. [/QUOTE] Bye-bye, troll. One guest account per person. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/183 "2007-11-13T18:40:55Z")
[QUOTE=Polymer] This board’s pretty cool. A little alarming, possibly. But certainly interesting. I like it. [/QUOTE] Just don’t let this thread scare you off. It’s not always like this. Well, ok, it is, but don’t let that scare you off. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/184 "2007-11-13T18:42:52Z")
We seem to enjoy shouting “TROLL!” at one another. What’s wrong with being provocative every now and then? ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/185 "2007-11-13T18:48:08Z")
And what’s wrong with arguing the fine points of abstruse cititations of the law? It’s all good fun, right? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/186 "2007-11-13T18:53:30Z")
I’m an identical thread sandwich! ---
**Author:** ![lobstermobster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobstermobster/32/10033_2.png) [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/187 "2007-11-13T19:38:07Z")
I’d be willing to take this outside. However I am not starting a thread just so people can call me names. I’m dumb but not that dumb. You want to know something really terrifying though? Guess who is the gatekeeper for all of the controlled substances at work? I also have to write reports and remain in close contact with the DEA. So when the animal tech people need someone to come inject a rabbit with buprenorphine, guess which maniacal child criminal is there wielding a syringe. It’s FUCKED UP. I wonder how they are getting drugs out of my office since I have the flu and am at home today. Poor bunbuns. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/188 "2007-11-13T19:48:06Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] **neutron** , any news? The bank is open, the police should be ready to go, right? [/QUOTE] Sorry, I work nights, so I grabbed a couple hours sleep this morning after work before I did anything. I visited the bank and filled out an affidavit of forgery. Apparently, this type of thing doesn’t come up as often as one might think after all the “CHECK FRAUD IS UP 60,000%!!!” web pages from banks I saw when looking into the issue over the last few days. The notary at my bank, who I know has been working there at least nine months because she opened my account for me, had never seen it before and had to consult the main office to find out the right procedures and get the proper forms. Anyway, I filled the thing out, wrote an account of what happened for them, and signed my name five times in a row, presumably to verify against the forged checks. Ironically, my signature looks a lot like Dave’s real signature he used to endorse the checks, but absolutely nothing like his effort at forging my signature. He’d know that if he had looked at any one of the half-dozen signed papers of mine (nothing of legal consequence) sitting around the living room and kitchen before putting his master plan into action. The bank gave me some fantastic news about the state of my money. Turns out the teller was wrong. I’ll be credited with the full amount missing by the end of business today! Hell yeah! I celebrated by spending the entire $20 I borrowed from my parents on enough take-out Chinese to last me three meals. 🙂 I called the police after I got home, but the officer handling the investigation was out on a call, so I left a message on his voice mail to fill him in. I’m guessing the bust isn’t going to happen today, but as long as I have my money back, as long as it happens soon, and as long as he can’t steal anything else, I’m happy. Actually, I hope he tries to. I mean, he won’t get any money, I won’t lose any money, and they’ll tack on another charge. > [@Malthus](#): > > I’ve not been where Neutron Star is, but I’ve certainly had friends who have - the psychology of the situation (as I’ve seen it) is more anger than fright. More ‘that no-good freeloading bastard has finally gone too far - time to sling his sorry ass outta here’ than ‘I’m in danger - gotta move out now’. This. Honestly, he’s made it so easy to get himself busted that I feel like I’m playing basketball against a handicapped kid. If he’d just made the checks out to cash, I’d probably have my suspicions, but it could have just as easily been any punk walking down the street and peeking into mailboxes. He’s never actually scared me in any way, and this doesn’t change things. I consider him to be much more of a whining little mooch than a shadowy criminal lurking in a dark alley. > [@Maastricht](#): > > - Place an ad for a new roommate and list the landlord’s phonenumer. No point in letting the room stay unoccupied and unpaid for two weeks longer then necessary. Besides, nothing says “Dave, go away, we’ve moved on” better then a new roommate staying in his room. Preferably a new roommate who has hung new curtains for Dave’s old windows. No need, actually. My friend and his girlfriend will be moving in. Before, they weren’t sure if they were ready for her to actually sell her place and move in here, but they’ve been together for a year now, so they’ve finally decided to go for it. Instead of a felon who I’d only ever seen once (at a bar while I was drunk) before moving in, I’ll have someone I’ve known and trusted since I was ten years old for a roommate. And the girlfriend is a kick-ass cook and a pretty good friend in her own right. Good deal! > [@Shayna](#): > > If he won’t go through the proper legal steps to evict this guy, my personal recommendation – friend or no friend – would be to give notice and move out. You and your possessions will never be safe there if this guy is allowed to stay or move back in. Good luck! Nice! Thanks for the info. I’m sure he’ll go through the proper procedures; he just didn’t know them. He called me this morning right after I got home from work asking if I wouldn’t mind looking into this stuff (he doesn’t have an Internet connection). I just called him up at his job and let him know all of that information. Thanks again. That was quite helpful! > [@MsRobyn](#): > > neutron star, let me know when this goes down so I can read about it in The Patriot. Sure. I’ll send you a PM, otherwise the entire Internet will know what block of what street I live on - not that that’s a huge deal, but you never know. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/189 "2007-11-13T19:53:21Z")
**neutron star** , that’s great news! I hope they keep Dave in custody after the parole violations making all the concerns about eviction moot, too. ---
**Author:** ![Polymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f14d63/32.png) [@Polymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polymer)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/190 "2007-11-13T19:55:20Z")
Great news, Neutron! That’s awesome about you getting your funds back, though I personally would have been shocked if they hadn’t done so. Fraud is fraud, it wasn’t your sig on the check, period. Great that your buds are moving in. But how will the removal/eviction of Dave be handled exactly? Just curious. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/191 "2007-11-13T20:00:48Z")
[QUOTE=Polymer] That’s awesome about you getting your funds back, though I personally would have been shocked if they hadn’t done so. Fraud is fraud, it wasn’t your sig on the check, period. [/QUOTE] Yeah. I was pretty confident that the bank would return the funds. I know my bank has covered me before when dealing with fraudulent charges. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/192 "2007-11-13T20:04:53Z")
[QUOTE=Polymer] Great that your buds are moving in. But how will the removal/eviction of Dave be handled exactly? Just curious. [/QUOTE] By the book, according to the link **Shayna** posted. I’m heading over to my grandma’s house right now to print it out (I print things so seldom that I don’t have a printer of my own), and I’ll give my friend/landlord/future roommate a copy of it when I see him tonight. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/193 "2007-11-13T20:09:19Z")
I’m so pleased to hear you’re getting the money back! Phew! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/194 "2007-11-13T20:10:38Z")
Yay! I’m happy for you too! ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/195 "2007-11-13T20:34:16Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star] I’m guessing the bust isn’t going to happen today, but as long as I have my money back, as long as it happens soon, and as long as he can’t steal anything else, I’m happy. Actually, I hope he tries to. I mean, he won’t get any money, I won’t lose any money, and they’ll tack on another charge. [/QUOTE] Well, he can’t steal anything, apart from the three days of chinese food in the fridge, that is. Congratulations on getting the money back. That must be a major load off… ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/196 "2007-11-13T20:55:34Z")
[QUOTE=villa] Well, he can’t steal anything, apart from the three days of chinese food in the fridge, that is. Congratulations on getting the money back. That must be a major load off… [/QUOTE] Now he is going to have to go buy padlocks for the fridge. Thanks for scaring him like that. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/197 "2007-11-13T21:05:53Z")
That’s great **ns** , but let’s not forget what’s really important in this conversation! _Kidding_ ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/198 "2007-11-13T21:08:57Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star] By the book, according to the link **Shayna** posted. I’m heading over to my grandma’s house right now to print it out (I print things so seldom that I don’t have a printer of my own), and I’ll give my friend/landlord/future roommate a copy of it when I see him tonight. [/QUOTE] Excellent! Glad I could help. If he has any questions, he might want to contact the Harrisburg Fair Housing Council: 2100 North Sixth Street P.O. Box 5089 Harrisburg, Pennsylvania 17110-0089 Phone 238-9540 He can get a copy of the most current Tenant-Landlord Handbook here: THE HARRISBURG FAIR HOUSING COUNCIL 1228 Bailey Street Harrisburg, Pa. 17103 (717) 238-9540 > **[porkbun.com | parked domain](https://tenant.net/)** Congrats on getting your money back, and again, good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/199 "2007-11-13T21:16:22Z")
[QUOTE=Shayna] Excellent! Glad I could help. If he has any questions, he might want to contact the Harrisburg Fair Housing Council: 2100 North Sixth Street P.O. Box 5089 Harrisburg, Pennsylvania 17110-0089 Phone 238-9540 He can get a copy of the most current Tenant-Landlord Handbook here: THE HARRISBURG FAIR HOUSING COUNCIL 1228 Bailey Street Harrisburg, Pa. 17103 (717) 238-9540 > **[porkbun.com | parked domain](https://tenant.net/)** Congrats on getting your money back, and again, good luck! [/QUOTE] Wow. You are good. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/200 "2007-11-13T21:18:36Z")
Actually, the eviction might be even easier since the owner is going to take residency. There was a thread a little while back that discussed specific laws relating to this, but I think it may have been specific to Canadian law. I will see if I can find it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016.md?page=11)