# I'd like to kill my roommate, but I'm afraid just doing it once wouldn't be enough **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 11, 2007, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016 "2007-11-11T14:26:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/261 "2007-11-15T01:42:27Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] Technically, she has a cloaca. [/QUOTE] Really, between the SDMB and Wiki, I get such a comprehensive education that I wonder why I paid to go to college. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/262 "2007-11-15T03:06:12Z")
[QUOTE=StuffLikeThatThere] Really, between the SDMB and Wiki, I get such a comprehensive education that I wonder why I paid to go to college. [/QUOTE] Yep, this is the kind of place where searching the archive for “cloaca” produces six pages of results. (And, somewhat disturbingly, four of the references are mine. Hmmm.) ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/263 "2007-11-15T03:48:45Z")
Advice to the OP: NAG. Make sure the police know the alleged forger is on parole. Get the name of the parole officer; inform him/her of the current criminal complaints; give the police the name of the parole officer. Contact the state’s attorney; inform them of the parole and current criminal complaints. Give them the lead officer’s name and contact information. Find out if any previous conviction was federal; if so, give them any information you have. Nag them. And, most effectively, keep in contact with the bank’s fraud squad, and get THEM to nag; a major financial institution will always have more power than you. Of course, you will be contacting these people in order to inform them of the situation and offer your contact information. Not to nag them. NAG them. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/264 "2007-11-15T15:23:05Z")
Okay, the police finally called back to give me an update. I guess going through their procedures takes a little bit more time than I had been told previously. They’re serving a warrant on the bank today for Dave’s account records. Turns out I was right - he did cash the checks at the bank we both use, inside the supermarket where he works. Like I said, not the smartest criminal in the world. They should pick him up within the next day or two. ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/265 "2007-11-15T15:26:09Z")
Keep us posted, I’m on the edge of my seat here. Sorry you gotta live with that assbitch for a couple more days. ---
**Author:** ![Polymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f14d63/32.png) [@Polymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polymer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/266 "2007-11-15T15:30:11Z")
If I were Neutron, I’d drive down to the cop shop right now and politely insist that the promised action be taken without further delay. Cop won’t return your phone calls? fine. Politely ask to speak to his sargeant or captain or whatever. Be a polite but persistent PITA until you get some action. Geez that sucks, Neutron ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/267 "2007-11-15T15:35:06Z")
Sorry to sound so cynical, but we as citizens have to realize that solving crimes doesn’t make any money for police departments to put in their coffers, so it’s not their first priority. If Dave had been speeding, he’d have been pulled over and cited with a large fine as soon as the cops knew about it. How long have they known he stole from you? ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/268 "2007-11-15T15:36:06Z")
[QUOTE=Polymer] If I were Neutron, I’d drive down to the cop shop right now and politely insist that the promised action be taken without further delay. Cop won’t return your phone calls? fine. Politely ask to speak to his sargeant or captain or whatever. Be a polite but persistent PITA until you get some action. Geez that sucks, Neutron [/QUOTE] Did you not see the last post by NS, you know, the one posted seven minutes before yours? ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/269 "2007-11-15T15:38:43Z")
[QUOTE=Nawth Chucka] Sorry to sound so cynical, but we as citizens have to realize that solving crimes doesn’t make any money for police departments to put in their coffers, so it’s not their first priority. If Dave had been speeding, he’d have been pulled over and cited with a large fine as soon as the cops knew about it. How long have they known he stole from you? [/QUOTE] Yeah, 'cause we all know that speeding ticket fines go right into the pockets of the police. Unlike the fines imposed on everyone else convicted of crimes which go into the judges pockets. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/270 "2007-11-15T15:54:51Z")
[QUOTE=Nawth Chucka] Sorry to sound so cynical, but we as citizens have to realize that solving crimes doesn’t make any money for police departments to put in their coffers, so it’s not their first priority. If Dave had been speeding, he’d have been pulled over and cited with a large fine as soon as the cops knew about it. How long have they known he stole from you? [/QUOTE] It doesn’t work the same way for all crimes. It’s better that the cops get all their ducks in a row before apprehending the guy. With speeding, the cops witness it. With fraud, they don’t, so it’s better to collect all the evidence to make sure that the arrest warrant is easy. **Neutron** provided the evidence that he took and forged the cheques, the cops then went and got proof that the dickwad cashed them, so now they have evidence of the _whole_ crime from start to finish, not just _half_. Paperwork takes time, they have to get the warrant, serve the warrant, check the info they got, find the relevent bits, etc. And it’s not like this is the only thing they’re working on. If no one is under imminent threat of bodily harm, I would expect the cops would want to get everything squared away, so now it will be a slam dunk. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/271 "2007-11-15T16:02:04Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic] Yeah, 'cause we all know that speeding ticket fines go right into the pockets of the police. Unlike the fines imposed on everyone else convicted of crimes which go into the judges pockets. :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] You’re absolutely right; that is exactly what I wrote, distilled down to a glib remark with such precision that I may weep at your brilliance. Or maybe fucking not. State and Federal [funding to city police departments is decreasing](http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2003/0309.wallace-wells.html) and the local departments have to make up that budget shortfall somewhere in order to keep paying cops and hiring new ones. Those are the coffers I was referring to , which you mistook for ‘pockets’. I could see where that might happen, as both words have two syllables. :rolleyes: Right back atcha. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/272 "2007-11-15T16:09:59Z")
[QUOTE=Nawth Chucka] You’re absolutely right; that is exactly what I wrote, distilled down to a glib remark with such precision that I may weep at your brilliance. Or maybe fucking not. State and Federal [funding to city police departments is decreasing](http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2003/0309.wallace-wells.html) and the local departments have to make up that budget shortfall somewhere in order to keep paying cops and hiring new ones. Those are the coffers I was referring to , which you mistook for ‘pockets’. I could see where that might happen, as both words have two syllables. :rolleyes: Right back atcha. [/QUOTE] Ok leaving all that aside, how about the cops need to investigate the crime at issue here unlike a speeding ticket which they witness? Or should they just arrest the guy because NS said he did something? Yeah, that make much more sense. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/273 "2007-11-15T16:26:56Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star] Okay, the police finally called back to give me an update. I guess going through their procedures takes a little bit more time than I had been told previously. They’re serving a warrant on the bank today for Dave’s account records. Turns out I was right - he did cash the checks at the bank we both use, inside the supermarket where he works. Like I said, not the smartest criminal in the world. They should pick him up within the next day or two. [/QUOTE] In the meantime, is [del]Dumb Ass[/del] still wandering around the house acting like nothing has happened? Is it possible that he might skip town? ---
**Author:** ![Polymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f14d63/32.png) [@Polymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polymer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/274 "2007-11-15T16:42:32Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic] Did you not see the last post by NS, you know, the one posted seven minutes before yours? [/QUOTE] 😕 Um, no. It was not there when I hit “reply”, then my post took longer than I expected due to an interruption. Geez… ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/275 "2007-11-15T16:43:33Z")
[QUOTE=Maus Magill] In the meantime, is [del]Dumb Ass[/del] still wandering around the house acting like nothing has happened?? [/QUOTE] Yeah, you’d think he’d be worried that you’d have figured out that there’s money missing. Unless he’s really so dumb that he doesn’t understand how a checking account works. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/276 "2007-11-15T16:45:45Z")
[QUOTE=Polymer] 😕 Um, no. It was not there when I hit “reply”, then my post took longer than I expected due to an interruption. Geez… [/QUOTE] Oh. Sorry for the snark then. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/277 "2007-11-15T17:26:11Z")
[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone] Yeah, you’d think he’d be worried that you’d have figured out that there’s money missing. Unless he’s really so dumb that he doesn’t understand how a checking account works. [/QUOTE] Are you telling me the magical money-fountain doesn’t just re-fill? Dammit ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/278 "2007-11-15T18:46:46Z")
[QUOTE=Dr. Drake] Not _Yetica Regina_? [/QUOTE] Hmmm…never thought of Regina…it makes sense though, I like it! ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/279 "2007-11-15T18:52:41Z")
[QUOTE=Nawth Chucka] Sorry to sound so cynical, but we as citizens have to realize that solving crimes doesn’t make any money for police departments to put in their coffers, so it’s not their first priority. If Dave had been speeding, he’d have been pulled over and cited with a large fine as soon as the cops knew about it. . . . [/QUOTE] Only if he was on his way to church. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016/280 "2007-11-15T21:42:44Z")
Here’s to hoping they have videocamera proof the girlfriend cashed one of those checks, and get handwriting samples to nail her good! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-kill-my-roommate-but-im-afraid-just-doing-it-once-wouldnt-be-enough/426016.md?page=15)